That’s what he says I owe him – half of what he paid for the house we both live in. He also feels that I owe him the $20,000 that he lost with the sale of the last house, but he’s willing to write that off as a bad investment since it was his idea.
How do you all feel about this?
I had no knowledge of this house, no say in its purchase, no desire to live here, but here I am. Do I owe him anything?
He has a really good story about how he came to purchase this house and end up living here, but not one bit of it is in any way my “fault.” I had nothing to do with it, but he insists that the only reason he even has a house right now is because of me, and I owe him.
In fact, he would be living on a boat right now if it weren’t for the women in his life who wanted to live on land.* He is bitter towards his ex for “insisting” that he build her a house. He says that she agreed to buy the materials and he agreed to do the work, but (surprise!) he feels that she did not hold up her end of the bargain.
Now he feels that if I want to say, “but, the house is paid for, it’s not an expense we have to budget for,” it’s only fair that I own half of it because it’s money that he’s already spent. He would be happy to get a market estimate for what the house would likely sell for (at my expense) and use that as a base number and go with me to a bank to have an amortization schedule drawn up and I could pay him on contract.
Does any sane person feel this way? If you moved in with your mate, did he ask that you pay him half the expense of the house you share? Am I wrong to be appalled by this? I had a perfectly good rental that I would have stayed in, a job that more than paid my bills, but he insisted that the rental was not good enough, and so he ended up losing money. Now I feel like I’m the one being made to pay for something that I never wanted in the first place. Something that I told him I thought was a bad idea, but he insisted that he knew better. Turns out he didn’t, and now I have to pay?
Is my point of view skewed on this one?
* So why didn’t he choose a sailing woman for a mate? Oh, yeah, they’re all too wise to his Narc ways and wouldn’t have looked at him twice.
I Won't Take It 
Awana
September 26, 2012 at 4:50 pm
More puke–you don’t owe him a thing–he is just going to go on like this all his life trying to find women to blame his “bright ideas” on, just because he doesn’t know himself and can’t settle down to what he wants to do. Tell him you haven’t got it,and you can’t get blood from a turnip. Too bad he knows about your recent windfall, which I hope you invested. Pathetic and sad. BTW–even people who live on boats have a “stick house” to bail to. the only women who live permanently that I know of have to for one issue or another–it doesn’t suit you and yes, they all know better. Sheesh.
lookingforward2012
September 26, 2012 at 4:53 pm
The court would decide the house would be sold and the money split. Any costs incurred, also would be split. If you want to live in that house, you may but out his half of the equity, and vice versa. You owe him nothing until a judge says you do.
iwonttakeit
September 26, 2012 at 7:00 pm
We are not (thank all that’s holy!) married. There is no question of who paid for and owns the house. The problem that I’m having is that he wants to “sell” the house to me so that he has an income. He wants me to pay him to torture me.
Paula
September 26, 2012 at 9:15 pm
Here’s the short and sweet of it: if your name isn’t on the mortgage or the title, tough shit for him. Play the legal game with him. This isn’t about love and what people who care about each other do. This is cold-hearted legal shit now. He’s a liability in your life. Treat him and his needs as such.
El Guapo
January 2, 2013 at 4:25 pm
Yeah, that about sums it up, Paula!