Share Your World – Week 4

Already Week 4 of 2015? Time does fly. Here’s the latest from Cee’s Share Your World challenge –

Where did you live at age five?  Is it the same place or town you live now?

Hood River, Oregon, on June Street right next door to Granny & Grandpa, my Mom’s parents. I don’t live anywhere near there now, but Mom still lives in the same town.

You are invited to a party that will be attended by many fascinating people you never met.  Would you attend this party if you were to go by yourself?

Absolutely! Why not? I might stand in a corner all night, but I’d be there, right?

Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?

I grew up in a small town and liked it for the most part. The Big City was only an hour away but we didn’t go much. I don’t recall feeling like I missed out on anything a larger town had to offer, but now I know better and am grateful The Big City is close enough to visit from time to time.

As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A professional woman. I always wanted to be independent and self-sufficient, to not have to rely on anyone else for anything. Not sure where that came from, but when I discovered I had a talent for drafting I knew it would be the answer to my dream. I thought I would be working with architects, drawing works of art that would become historical buildings one day, helping to change the face of whatever city I lived in. The reality is the money is in engineering and very few architects get to design history-in-the-making buildings. Had I known then what I know now I might have returned to school to get an engineering degree despite all the math, but hindsight is always 20/20.

Whew! There ya go. Things are going on behind the scenes here as I try to get my Virtual House in order. Y’all may remember that I do Fiber Stuff and 2015 is the year I make a big push to get it out onto the interwebs and try to make enough cash to fund some upcoming projects. To that end I’ve been editing and re-branding my knitting patterns and fleshing out my website while also brainstorming ideas about a joint website and web presence for The Sweatshop Girls. There are Big Ideas floating around The Studio and it’s time to make them a reality!

 

 

Music on Friday

We finally made it to Friday! I am so sleepy this week, in need of a nice long hibernation but that won’t happen any time soon, so let’s listen to some music.

One of my favorite bands is Old Crow Medicine Show, whose new album, Remedy, is up for a Grammy. Here’s one of the best songs from Big Iron World, “Down Home Girl -”

If you listen to country radio at all you’ve heard Darius Rucker covering this song –

Who does it better? FYI “Wagon Wheel” was inspired by a snippet on an album of unfinished songs by Bob Dylan and filled out by Ketch Secor when he was only seventeen.

 

Share Your World – Weeks 2 & 3

Okay, folks, I’m back from vacation and feeling snarky, but not about Cee’s fab Share Your World challenge.

Questions from Week 2 –

Are you a hugger or a non-hugger?

Oh, for the love of all that’s holy, keep your hands off me! I do not hug strangers and I loathe the way they look at me like I strangle kittens for fun when I put up a hand and say, “no, I’d rather not” when they hold their arms out. I mean, really? I don’t know what kind of germs you harbor and I don’t want my boobs to become part of your next fantasy, ifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo.

What’s your favorite ice-cream flavor?

Chocolate. If it has fudge or chips or chunks of chocolate mixed in it’s even better. Not cookie dough, though.

Do you prefer exercising your mind or your body? How frequently do you do either?

Hahahahahahahaha! I exercise my body only under duress. I exercise my wit on my co-workers all week long. Does that count?

Are you more of a dog person or a cat person? Why?

While I have both living with me now, I’d have to say that I identify most with cats. They prefer to be warm and dry and aren’t known for eating unidentifiable stuff laying on the sidewalk. True, the litter box needs to be cleaned, but if you have a dog around even that chore isn’t too onerous 🙂

Questions from Week 3 –

Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

Alive – Benedict Cumberbatch and Jimmy Kimmel. What a hoot that would be!
Dead – Elizabeth Zimmermann, a world famous knitter who espoused many of my philosophies. She’s worth a blog post all her own. I’ll get right on that…

When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

I don’t usually sing out loud, really. In the car. Okay, maybe this morning on my way to work, but the only witness was Sabu 🙂

If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

The ability to be invisible so I could be a fly on the wall anywhere I wanted to. People fascinate me. They also repulse me so I’m figuring if I was invisible I could observe and not have to interact – perfect for an introvert.

What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

It’s all about perspective and sometimes jokes can lighten an otherwise grim situation. Context is also important and one must be kind if at all possible, but I don’t think anything is too serious to be joked about.

And that’s all we have time for this morning, folks! We will try to get back to regular blogging here and elsewhere on the interwebs but now we must get to work, earning those dollars for kibble.

 

 

Has it really been two years?

Today marks my two year narc-free anniversary! At 11:45 AM on January 20, 2013 I drove away from the narc’s house with the last of the stuff I couldn’t live without. I was an emotional mess but determined to escape that asshole and live the life I’d always wanted for myself.

For those who are new, read last year’s synopsis here to get caught up. Ready? Okay.

I went NC with the narc about a year ago, changing my phone number and deleting my internet presence completely so he couldn’t stalk me. Oh, I hadn’t been communicating with him for months before that, but the occasional email still came through to irritate me all over again. Life has been so much more peaceful now that all communication has been cut off.

I look back and hardly believe that was my life. It’s inconceivable to me now that I allowed one person to control my every thought, my every movement. It’s almost like a bad dream, life has changed so much.

Sabu, Revy and I are still living in a 30′ travel trailer and I recommend this lifestyle to anyone who doesn’t think they can escape their abusive relationship because of financial issues or pets – I could not afford an apartment that would accept a 50-pound dog on wages from a part-time minimum wage job, but I could easily afford to buy a travel trailer and pay space rent in a nice RV park which enabled me to have my own private space and keep my dog. If I don’t like my neighbors, I simply hire a Dude with a truck and he will drag my home wherever I may want to go. I have the option of buying or renting my own truck and traveling until the land meets the sea whenever the whim may strike. I am not tied down by a rental contract or mortgage. I don’t have to do yard work or keep up with the neighbors and their new toys and gadgets. I am a modern-day gypsy who has chosen to stay in one place for awhile.

I have a great job that I love in an office full of truly Nice People. I don’t feel any stress over money and feel in control of my life in a way that I never would have believed possible. I have full autonomy. I have full say over the menu, thermostat, TV remotes, social events and ALL of the bed and blankets. I go where I want to go, see who I want to see and never even think of the consequences that used to be meted out if I stepped away from his line. Every day is a blessing and joy.

Back in July I posted that I no longer heard his voice in my head and what a relief it was. It took 1.5 years to drive his voice out of my head! If you haven’t been in an abusive relationship you have no idea how deeply the monsters sink their claws into your soul. This was a Big Deal and I quietly celebrated for a couple of weeks before deciding to step out of my comfort zone and put myself out there online as “single and looking.” I know, right? I haven’t talked about that here because if it turns out to be a disaster, well, this blogging thing is supposed to be all about the successes, right?

In some ways it’s gone well, in others it’s been the disappointment I thought it would be. There are a lot of freaks out there looking for NSA kinky sex and if that’s what I was looking for I’d have my pick of any number of Slimy Dudes, but that’s not really my thing. I’ve been told I want too much from a man. I have to shrug and think to myself, “yeah, it’s totally unreasonable to narrow my choices to men who are gainfully employed, own their own car, live in their own space (ie not with Mom,) don’t drink excessively, don’t use drugs, don’t have a huge pile of debt, aren’t already otherwise involved in relationships, don’t have small children at home (sorry if that sounds selfish, but I’m all done being Mommy, thankyouverymuch!) don’t need a Mommy or fixing in some other way and who can write and spell with something close to English grammar conventions.” I won’t be a doormat, slave, maid, cook or gardener with no return on my investment and I state that right up front. Ya ain’t gonna get free labor from me 🙂

I’ll admit it: I’m gonna be picky because I can. I am perfectly happy with my single life. It’s working for me. But I also want to know if I could “do” a relationship the way I hear it can be done. You know, where two people of opposite sex are great friends who get along and like some of the same things and respect each other. It’s just not the same with girlfriends and dammit I want it all!

Anyway. This is not the place to talk about all that stuff. Let’s just say that I’m still single, still enjoying my life and looking forward to another fantastic year.

I’ve been away from blogging for awhile because I haven’t had anything to say. Life with the narc seems so far away when I’m going about my day-to-day business as to seem irrelevant to who I am now. I’m not sure where I want this blog to go now. Suggestions? What do y’all want to hear about?

To all of you in abusive relationships: there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Be brave. Throw off your shackles and walk into the light. It’s hard. It sucks. It’s scary. But it’s worth every hardship to live a life free of abuse.

Thank you all for joining me on this journey 🙂

 

 

 

Share Your World 2015 – Week 1

Cee is continuing her Share Your World challenge into 2015! I hope I have something witty to say 🙂 Here’s my first entry:

How do you get rid of pesky phone calls from telemarketers?

I honestly don’t remember the last time I got a call from a telemarketer. Is that strange? The last one I remember started out with a ships’ horn and was for a cruise company and I simply hung up when the horn sounded.

What are you a “natural” at doing?

I’ve mentioned before that I’m a CAD drafter for a civil engineering firm. Drafting, both by hand and on the computer, came very easily to me in a way that other things never did. I never had to work hard at learning my craft and for that I’m very grateful. It’s a good job and I’m lucky to work in an office full of truly Nice People. No drama. No stress. Or that could just be my Resting Bitch Face warning them all to step away and take their drama with them 🙂

How often do you get a haircut?

Since I keep it so short now I have to get my hair cut every six weeks or less to keep the odd ends from sticking out everywhere. There’s really an optimal range and letting it get much longer than that is not a pretty site.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “fun”?

(delete inappropriate response here)

(delete slightly less inappropriate response here)

Hanging out with Awana and Jean – there’s always a lot of laughing involved and the subject matter is interesting and far-ranging because we have each had such different life experiences.

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

Last week was a fabulous start to 2015 and I hope the New Year goes on the same way the last one went out.

I will be going on a vacation next week! Out of town and unavailable. This will be the first time I’ve taken time away from work and gone out of town for this long that wasn’t with family and I’m pretty stoked. Sabu will be going to Sleep-Away Camp to run with the pack, which means she’s a bit smelly this week, but there’s really no sense in taking her to the groomer when she’s going to be outside being a dog all next week and will need another session anyway. Awana will be taking care of Revy, which should lead to some interesting stories – he’s grown up to be quite the character.

There ya go! One down, 51 to go 🙂