I almost forgot…

…and that is a wonderful thing!

Today marks three years narc-free! In some ways it’s been the best year of my adult life, in some ways not so good, but I’m still here, still kicking ass and taking names. Thank you all for continuing to read my little stories.

While I had hoped to have my life more settled in some ways, having The Kid living with me has put a serious crimp in my plans because I don’t trust him not to do something stupid. He hasn’t had a relapse in awhile, but he still refuses to attend any AA meetings or seek counseling in any form. He spends his evenings on my couch* looking at his phone, typing away (this brings back unpleasant memories for me!) and giving minimal answers to my questions unless I get really annoying and start pestering him.

He does not have a job or, as far as I can tell, any prospects, either. I am slowly losing my shit. Short of going out and finding him a job myself, I don’t know what to do. I may get angry again when the weather gets warmer and just kick him out into the street because his apathy is unacceptable. He does not seem depressed, just inert.

On a “good” note, I’ve taken to calling him Juan the Houseboy because he has become fairly consistent with chores. I clean my bedroom, but he takes care of pretty much everything else, which is nice, but not worth having his brooding presence on my couch 24/7. Kinda thought the new nickname would shame him, but he seems confused more than anything. Sigh. Awana says he’s the Dysfunctional Man I can’t seem to escape for long. That hurt a little, but she’s totally right.

In other news, I have reached the State of Meh regarding the narc. The Boy is long gone – prison for the next 20 years, likely** – I know how to pick ’em! Work is good. My creative energy is returning after being on hold to deal with The Kid’s crisis. I’ve joined the local Arts Guild and have put some of my creations in their Store where I work one shift a week and do a bunch of online stuff for them.

One thing I didn’t think would happen is that I’ve been sharing my story with people. I’m fascinated with their reaction and the floodgates my story sometimes opens about their own life. I’ve met a few very interesting people through the Guild and some online connections and find myself eager to write again. Maybe edit my book, maybe start a new one. Inspiration is around every corner and I want to throw it back like a Margarita on a hot day.

One thing that has become abundantly clear is that I do not belong in this Small Town. The people who interest me are from Away or live in much more liberal cities, causing me to start to wonder about relocating to get a little more Culture into my life. I refuse to do anything while The Kid is living with me, however – I am not gonna be that Mama who says, “My son still lives with me. He’s 45…” even if I have to put him out on his ass. Mama needs some Alone Time! Mama needs to be around Grown-Ups! Mama may just do something desperate…

Anyway. Sabu is still a Bad Dog. The cat is still an asshole. The Other Boss is retiring at the end of the year, signaling the end of an era – he’s been like a Guardian Angel for me where work is concerned and I’ll miss the extra income. Everything changes but everything stays the same.

Melissa from the court case that should never have happened contacted me a few weeks ago. She’d just gotten out of rehab and has moved in with long-time family friends and is doing well. She wanted to thank me for testifying on her behalf and we became friends on FB. Her posts show her in good health, taking it day by day. I wish her all the luck in the world and hope her life becomes all she wants it to be.

I do find myself with one regret this year – that I shared this blog with some people I know IRL. That’s a terrible thing to say, but I have censored posts and not posted some parts of my struggle just to avoid conflict in my Real Life and I don’t like that one bit. I started out here anon and back when my anger was hot as a thousand fiery suns I wanted to shout from the rooftops and didn’t care who knew, but it’s caused some problems I never expected and now I feel like I have to mind my words and it’s killing my Blog Mojo. I’ve done what I always do in this situation – started another blog. Or maybe three. I’m becoming fractured again in some ways, but I need to write it all out or lose my mind, and I can’t do that here.

* I was talking with one of the gals at work about dogs being on the couch and another co-worker suggested a “scat mat” and I found myself wondering aloud if it would work on people…Go ahead and think it – I’m a terrible person. I won’t hold it against you 🙂

** No, being with me and landing in prison are not connected!

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How to deal with the neighborhood drug dealer

A few months ago I posted a little bit about Drug Dealing Dave (DDD from here on out) and my frustration that Management at the Park refused to do anything about his obvious trafficking.

I may have mentioned in previous posts that Noreen, half of the “management team” at the park – that’s a story for another day – has Meth Face. Her teeth are broken and she has the look of a long-time meth user but she’s never appeared high in my presence and I never asked, feeling that if she was in recovery she might not want to talk about it.

She and her husband became fast friends with DDD right off the bat. I pointed out the Tweaker Parades back when the weather was warm and got only a lukewarm response out of Noreen. I pointed out the car traffic going back to DDD’s trailer and complained about his coming and going at all hours of the night, waking me up.

“He drives a taxi,” was Noreen’s reply.

Uh…I don’t think so. Not in his jacked-up mini-truck with the loud muffler and ridiculous big tires. Not in a million years. And anyway, what kind of taxi driver leaves at 0200 and returns at 0210? Suuuuuuurrrrrreeeeee….I was not buying that line at all.

After my complaint about the noise of DDD’s truck, his nighttime trips became more quiet, but didn’t stop, so I knew I had to do something more drastic. An online search led me to print out a bunch of “suspicious activity” reports which I handed out to the Mrs. Kravitz’ in the park. Conveniently, they live right near DDD and are retired. I instructed them to write down everything they saw, including license plate numbers, and when the sheet was full, to call the Sheriff out. The Sheriff was asked again and again why they didn’t make an arrest, but it seems there wasn’t enough evidence. They knew all about DDD but for whatever reason they did nothing – that pisses me off.

It wasn’t long before the Sheriff was a regular presence in the park. Park Rules state that if the police are called to your “unit” three times, you’re out, no more chances. That rule was bent for DDD and he changed his tactics. The traffic changed from cars to young people with backpacks – they would come in with a pack on, stop at DDD’s and leave with a different backpack.

Now, you could argue that maybe he’s just a friendly guy who the local kids like, right? Nuh-uh! There is no earthly reason for teenagers to be dropping by a single man’s trailer for a few minutes and then leaving. Unless they’re engaged in some sort of illicit activity, but Noreen would not be convinced. Okie-dokie, then!

The Mrs. Kravitz’ continued their work and I waited for something to happen. I would have participated more actively, but I work and couldn’t see DDD’s trailer from mine.

And then one day Noreen was out walking with the owner of the park. He’s 94 and doesn’t get out much, but on that day he was feeling good. Mrs. Kravitz #1 stopped him and Noreen on their walk and asked what was going to be done about the drug dealer. He, of course, knew nothing about it. Noreen tried to drag him away, but Mrs. Kravitz #1 would not be deterred. She’s lived in the Park for 15 years and always been upfront with everyone (to the point of being a bitch, but sometimes it gets things done) so he knew she wasn’t making shit up.

“Give him a 24-hour notice! Now!” he commanded, and just like that DDD was forced to move. He’s now in a little park near where I work, so I see him on occasion. He’s parked right next to another former park member, Kyle, who DDD got kicked out on trumped up complaints. Funny they’re neighbors again 🙂

Noreen is avoiding me now. Won’t let me get close enough to look into her eyes. I suspect she and her husband were customers of DDD and really liked having a supply so close at hand. Meth is a big problem in my little town, as are opiates, or so I hear. I’m fed up with it! The only way to get it out of our neighborhoods is if we stand together and insist they move on. If they can’t be prosecuted, it’s the next best thing since there’s no Open Season on them…

 

Thanks for the referral!

Shoutout to GladysKravitz on the Babycenter Community who posted a link to this here little blog about narcissists and what it can take to get away from them. If you’ve arrived here from there, here’s a link for you to start with. Remember that the entries are in reverse chronological order…

Thank you for the booming stats, Gladys 🙂

Meanwhile, there’s a lot going on here, no time to write, it’s all good, no worries, anniversary coming up (I know!) blog post soon-ish.

Oh, and Hook, thanks for reading and reminding me I need to get some updates here! 🙂