Share Your World – Week 13

The first Spring installment of Cee’s Share Your World challenge is here! AND it’s my birthday, so there ya go – a two-fer :-)

What was your favorite subject in school?

All of them. Really. I loved school. The other kids, not so much, but I loved learning. There were a couple of teachers in High School who made their subjects suck for me (biology and algebra) but by and large I loved every subject.

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away” (George Carlin). When have you had such a moment?

The moment I changed my phone number and deleted my email account so the narc could no longer contact me. It was my first real taste of freedom!

What’s your choice: jigsaw, crossword, or numeric puzzles?

Crossword. Numeric puzzles piss me off and I live with an asshole cat so jigsaw puzzles are out of the question :-/

If you found an obviously abandoned car with $50,000 in the back seat, what would you do?

Walk quickly away – it’s a trap!

March just whizzed right by, didn’t it? Hard to believe it’s April already! I’m busier than a one-armed paper hanger (is that phrase totally outdated?) and thrilled Spring is here.

Happy hump day!

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Posted by on April 1, 2015 in Memes, Share Your World



Share Your World – Weeks 11 & 12

Well! Looks like I’ve fallen behind on Cee’s Share Your World Challenge, so this week I offer up two installments –

Week 11

List 2 things you have to be happy about?

Don’t hate me but I can’t even think of two things I have to NOT be happy about. Srsly. Happy about everything in my life right now. Well, my couch and I haven’t had any quality time together, but other than that it really is All Good.

Do you prefer ketchup or mustard or mayonnaise?  

Ketchup by a landslide. I don’t eat mustard or mayo unless it’s by mistake. I know, I know! I’m a freak and I embrace my freakishness.

If you were to paint a picture of your childhood, what colors would you use?

Shades of gray I guess. I loved school but hated the other kids so nothing stands out.

Do you prefer a bath or shower?

I love to soak in a tub with lots of bubbles and a good book but haven’t had access for a few years now, so I guess I prefer a shower by default.

Week 12

When was the last time you sat on a park or garden bench for more than ten minutes? Describe the occasion.

When the weather is good I like to sit on a bench at the dog park a few times a week. It’s more fun if there are lots of dogs chasing each other around, but watching Sabu can also be entertaining.

Would you ever be interested in observing a surgery or do you turn away when the nurse brings out the needle? 

I dunno. On the one hand, it’s interesting, but I wouldn’t want to risk passing out and embarrassing myself. I would like to try, I think.

Where’s your favorite place to take out-of-town guests?

Anywhere but here :-) My little town is not very interesting, even to we who live here, so I’m not sure where I’d take anyone. A cruise through the local antique shops? The dog park? I just don’t know…Luckily I rarely have guests :-)

If you had an unlimited shopping spree at only one store, which one would you choose? Why?

Would I have to do all my shopping in one go, or would this spree last for my lifetime? I would choose a large fabric store in either case because I like to make stuff.

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

Last week was pretty busy and I’m grateful that I have so many things going on. I got more work from The Other Boss which will go towards getting a new awning for Towanda and I got my taxes done and don’t owe any money. Awana and I will be at the High Desert Wool Growers annual fiber sale this Saturday peddling our wares which should be a ton of fun – I always look forward to the fiber sales!

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Posted by on March 25, 2015 in Memes, Share Your World



Share Your World – Week 10

It’s Hump Day once again and time for another installment of Cee’s Share Your World challenge.

This week’s questions:

When you lose electricity in a storm, do you light the candles or turn on the flashlight? How many of each do you own?

Neither, actually. The only candles I own are scented gel candles I made when I was working at the candle factory in Newport and those are only lit to drive out the odor of The Kid.

I have at least half a dozen flashlights stashed around the place and one in the pocket of whatever jacket I’m wearing at the time. Flashlights in a travel trailer are a must – every cabinet is too deep and/or located nowhere near a light fixture or window and if you want to see into the murky depths you must bring your own light.

When the power goes out I don’t notice unless the TV is on as the cable box quits working. I keep Towanda’s batteries charged up so a power outage doesn’t change my routine. The stove, fridge and hot water heater all run on propane and the lights are all LED and draw very little power from the batteries.

The furnace also runs on propane but the furnace fan is electric, making a prolonged power outage a problem if the weather is very cold as it will draw down the batteries in no time at all. I need to research a different heat source and have been toying with the idea of a tiny wood stove. I think I have the installation bugs worked out but will have to find an affordable tiny stove option.

You are given $5,000 and the chance to exchange it for one of two envelopes. One envelope contains $50,000 and one contains $500. Do you make the trade? Why or why not?

I’d keep the $5K. It’s not a small amount and I could finance a lot of projects with that kind of dough. Sure, 50K would be great, but why risk ending up with only $500 when 10 times that much is already in my hand?

What’s your first memory?

I honestly don’t know if my earliest “memories” are real or the pictures planted in my head of the stories told around them. Right at this moment my mind is blank.

What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep, toss and turn, or get up and try to do something?

Hahahahahahahaha! Trouble falling asleep is not a problem I have ever had. Sometimes I can’t stay asleep or I wake too early, but falling asleep is not an issue. If I wake up during the night it’s usually for a reason, like needing to turn the water on to keep the pipes from freezing, so repeating that routine (get up, use the bathroom, turn on the kitchen faucet for 30 seconds or so, go back to bed) is enough to send me back to sleep.

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

My Kid got a job! A job where he won’t be in my space 24/7! A job that requires him to shower every day and brush his teeth and keep his shoes clean! I am so grateful he will be somewhere other than in my pocket for 30 hours a week and looking forward to a long and continued employment so he can move out on his own for good.

That makes me sound like a Bad Mom, doesn’t it? People don’t want to hear this sort of thing. Noreen, the park manager, is just thrilled that I have my “baby” back at home “where he belongs” and can’t get over how lucky I am. I try not to sneer, but holy fuck I already did this and isn’t it my turn to have a life?

I mean, he’s great, really. We have very similar personalities and he’s respectful about the space and walks the dog and lets the cat boss around someone other than me, but Towanda has been a penis-free zone for two years and opening the door and smelling MAN is Just Not Right.

I’m here for him as long as he needs me and I would never kick him out on his ass (although I have had a couple of vivid daydreams) but he needs to GO be an adult somewhere else.

Anyone else feel that way about their adult kids? Just me? Am I a horrible person?


Posted by on March 11, 2015 in Memes, Share Your World



Monday, Monday

The first week after the Time Change really sucks, doesn’t it? Why the fuck is daylight savings time still a thing?

What? It’s not Monday? Crap!

::Looks at calender on computer::

Right you are! Tuesday, then. Whatevs. Does it really matter? Seems like I’m at the office, drafting at home or asleep any given day, regardless of the calender.

Oh, and The Kid is Right.Fucking.There. whenever I’m home. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Kid, but I really wish he would find somewhere else to be on occasion.

Oh, wait! He got a job! Today was his first day. It’s nothing earth-shaking, just the seafood department at the local Slaveway, but it’s the first step to getting his ass off my couch and I ain’t complaining.

He got up at 0615, took the dog out, brought her back in and fed both dog and cat before my alarm even went off. You know I wasn’t asleep, right? I had been awake for half an hour, just in case his alarm didn’t wake him up. Doesn’t every Mom do that? Only me? Whatevs.

He left before I did, leaving me almost five full minutes of peaceful, silent bliss. I sat on the couch, breathing deeply until the smell of his boots intruded and then I breathed a little less deeply, gazing around at my space. My mind was able to block out the clutter that is Not Mine for a few precious minutes and I was content.

Which leads me to the point of this post. I am an introvert. I need some time every day when I am totally alone, no sound, no responsibilities, no movement other than my own if I am to remain congenial and sane. The past three + weeks I have not been alone unless I was in my car and that was usually on the way to a place where I would be faced with people and being all polite and shit and I was wound up about that but trying to keep calm so it doesn’t count. Also, traffic, which is not restful at all when you drive a tiny car in a land of monster trucks.

I am tired. My emotional tank is empty. I’m still recovering from a nasty cold so physically I don’t feel all that great, either. I get no absolute privacy and it’s beginning to show in my attitude.

Okay. Maybe there is no point to this post. Maybe this is just an explanation of my absence. I think about posting every day and then don’t. Also, there’s some Stuff that I want to share but don’t know quite how to share, or even if I should, if it’s all that relevant to this blog, or anything, really, and so I dither.

Anyway. Happy Monday!


Posted by on March 10, 2015 in Blather, The Kid


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Share Your World – Week 9

After a weekend spent in bed with The Crud that swept through the office, the latest edition of Cee’s Share Your World challenge may be all I have to offer this week as I play catch-up with everything else going on. Here ya go –

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 

19 on a good day, but appearances would make a liar of me :-) I don’t feel old in body, just in spirit some times.

Are you left or right handed? 

Right handed, no doubt. Many of my hobbies involve using both hands, but I don’t consider myself ambidextrous.

If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to?

Sofia Leo is the name I chose for myself and I would change it legally if I needed to.

Where do you hide junk when people come over?

Ha! There is no place to hide anything in a travel trailer! The necessities are in cupboards but everything else is out where anyone can see it. I don’t have a lot of things that aren’t valuable to my life in some way (shut up, Awana!) and when people come over I hope they’re there to see me and not my stuff. Yes, it’s a bit cluttered, even more so now that The Kid is living with me, but I think it’s still homey.

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Posted by on March 4, 2015 in Memes, Share Your World



Tunes on Friday

Feelin’ kinda like this today –

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Posted by on February 27, 2015 in Music



Thursday Thought — The Abuser’s Problem with Anger

Sofia Leo:

“Your abusive partner doesn’t have a problem with HIS anger; he has a problem with YOUR anger.”
That quote says it all about my relationship with the narc. I was not allowed to have feelings unless they fell into line with his. He would spend HOURS lecturing me about how my reaction to his latest BS was wrong and how he was going to help me learn “correct behavior.” Still makes my blood boil.
I highly recommend Lundy Bancroft’s “Why Does He Do That: Inside the minds of angry and abusive men” to anyone who doesn’t know WTF their partner is being such a dick. Okay, that might have been a bit biased, but the book really helped me sort out my feelings about the narc’s abusive ways and justified my decision to leave for good.

Originally posted on A Cry For Justice:


One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him.  No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil.  The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out to you — as will happen to any abused woman from time to time — he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can.  Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are.  Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed.  You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use…

View original 174 more words

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Posted by on February 26, 2015 in Uncategorized

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