V-day

Here we are again at the second most commercial American Holiday. For those of you not aware, this is the red hearts holiday, as opposed to the red and white candy cane one.

I’ve always had a problem with V-day. It’s so fake. So contrived. So commercial. So fucking stupid. Even as a kid, I resented having to give everyone in class a cheap little card when mostly I hated them all. Oh, Miss Sofie had no use for the imbeciles she was forced to spend time with every day. If she could have stooped so low as to use curse words, she would have sounded like a sailor describing the wild animals in class.

But this isn’t about childhood trauma. This post is all about that most “romantic” of days – Valentine’s Day.

God I hate the hypocrisy of V-day. Last year was the first V-day in 25 years that I “celebrated” as a single woman. The liberation was as sweet as the darkest fudge brownie, rolling across the palate like a fine Merlot, scenting the air with the fine fragrance of a hot lavender bubble bath.

And then the narc started in with his bullshit. I did my best to ignore it, celebrating Galentine’s Day with Awana instead, but the narc was persistent. When I failed to respond to his offers of love, he got mad. And then I got mad. I quit being civil and started telling him what I really thought of him. I had to explain to people why I wasn’t broken up over the ending of my relationship because everyone thought I was nuts for not being miserable to be spending V-day alone.

Ha! You know, I can’t recall a happy V-day. A box of chocolates (cheap, stale chocolates, usually) and/or an impersonal card do not a happy day make. It’s like the men in my life felt obligated to get these things for me but there was never any sincerity behind their actions. It was so obvious to me at the time, but I ignored my gut and thanked them. What a chump I was!

I could go on and on about how if two people love each other, every day should be romantic and loving, but fuck that shit. Being single rocks! I have everything I need with none of the obligations and pleasing another person to contend with. It’s all about ME now and I’m still loving it.

I don’t miss having someone to cuddle on this “most romantic” of days because I know there won’t be any obligatory sex on the agenda either.

I don’t miss being chastised for my lack of romance or abysmal gift-giving skills.

I sure don’t miss being told “it would take eight of you to keep me entertained.”

Fuck all that shit. I’m sorry for you singletons out there who are unhappy about your relationship state – I can’t relate, but I do want everyone to be happy 🙂

On this day, go forth and love the one you’re with, even if it’s just you…

And quit being influenced by the media hype over this stupid day – it’s all bullshit designed to make you feel Less Than whatever the current trend is.

 

New Year, First Post

“They” say that on New Year’s Day you should do all of the things that you want to do more of in the New Year. If you don’t have time for all that, a symbolic effort will do. Today I:

• Got up way too early
• Watched Breaking Bad while drinking tea
• Finished a quilt
• Went thrifting
• Went shopping for office stuff
• Visited the dog park with Sabu
• Took a nap

Wow. So far it’s not looking good, is it? Until I sat down at the computer to tally up my Grand Accomplishments for the day it felt like I’d run a marathon. Sigh. Well, there are 5.5 hours left of January 1. I wonder if I can:

• Spin something
• Knit something
• Fix the water pump leak
• Do some drafting for The Other Boss
• Finish writing a sock knitting pattern
• Fiddle
• Vacuum
• Do laundry

A couple of those would have been handled in the course of a usual Wednesday night but when I drove over to the yarn shop it was all closed up. Guess there’s no Knit Night tonight. Sigh. Too bad because that would also have covered “spend more time in the studio working on Stuff.”

Better get at it!

 

Holiday Cheer

I’ve been AWOL for the last five days, doing all that Holiday Stuff that’s so popular this time of year. Awana came over to spend a couple days with us. Here you see her spinning and trying to enjoy a piece of toast. Sabu was doing her best to get that last bite for herself, but Awana was oblivious:

 

Awana is one of those people who hasn’t lived with pets for some time and is either unaware or has forgotten what it’s like to eat anything with a critter in the house. She is able to leisurely have a bite of toast, set it down, drink a sip of tea, talk awhile and pick the toast back up, confident that it will be right there under her questing fingertips when she’s ready for it again.Sabu (mostly) doesn’t steal from her. Yet.

I, on the other hand, must grasp my food to my chest, balancing a tea cup on my lap (setting it on the table is an invitation for getting it knocked over,) taking quick bites and swallowing fast, before dog or cat manage to knock something free and gobble it down before I can rescue it. Revy is always at my elbow, or even trying to climb onto the plate if there’s chicken or ham involved, and Sabu is forever leaning on my knees, bumping my arm or leg with her nose to get me to hurry up and get to the last bite already! She always gets the last bite and is not at all patient about waiting for it. It can be exhausting, I tell you.

On Christmas day we drove up to Portland to my Sister’s house for lunch and catching up. Sadly, most of my pictures turned out awful (I truly hate my new camera and moan about the one that was stolen each time I bring out the POS) but there are a few that are fit to show.

 

Sis’ tree. Cool, yes? It was much prettier IRL. It disassembles and goes into a box after The Season. Easy-peasy!

This is Maya. She is an odd cat. Very interested to see what you’re eating, but not at all interested in having a bite. It’s like she needs to know for the sake of knowing.

The quilt was well received and we all settled down for taco soup, which was fab-u-lous! Even better heated up the next day!

A couple hours of visiting and we were off to the dog park and to take Harley home. Turns out The Boy did not have many clothes fit to wear in public (at least by Mom and Grandma standards) and so I insisted that I would be back on Friday to take him shopping. And for a haircut.

Sadly, it was unnecessary to humiliate him by forcing him to try on clothes and model them for me at the crowded store – I had five pairs of new jeans in The Stash (don’t ask) that fit him perfectly. We did venture out for some thrifting and food shopping as well as a haircut. Another trip to a dog park and Sabu and I headed home.

Awana was gone, so the beasties and I started in on another project and cleaning house. I spent a couple hours Saturday and Sunday in the Studio working on a scrappy quilt that is now ready for tying and binding. The trailer is clean, the plants are behind a new protective barrier that looks slightly less White Trash than the cardboard I was using before, and I even managed to do some cooking for lunches this week. Sabu got to go to the dog park six days in a row. Lil’ Dude got some new clothes – more about that in another post 🙂

All in all, it was a very happy and productive five days off!

 

Holiday Crazy

The Holiday Crazy has begun! I don’t mean the Holiday displays in the stores, or on the streets, or covering the public park here in town. No. I speak of that special brand of Holiday People Crazy.

I’ve written before about the narc’s dysfunctional family, and this little gem in my inbox this morning is just another example:

Hi [Sofia],

I wanted to wish you a good Thanksgiving and hope that all is well for you and that hopefully we could keep in touch.

Huh. In the past year she has sent me exactly one email. She has made no effort to get to know me at all in the 11.5 years I was living with her brother, and now she wants us to stay in touch? Wasn’t my lack of reply to her last note a clear message that I don’t want to be in contact with her? WTF is she thinking? Why would she think I would respond to her? The narc and I broke up and he is keeping his insane family – I have no use for them. Gaaaahhhhh! Just leave me alone, already!

As for T-Day for my family, Mom has to work and both she and Sis have to be at work early the day after, while I have a very early morning drive to make, so we’ve postponed it until a more convenient time. Yeah, we’ll be having the best Holiday ever, not driving (sorry, Mom!) or sweating about arrangements, getting together on a day the world isn’t going crazy. I plan to have a nap and make final preparations for the craft show, hopefully getting the car loaded for the o’ dark-thirty departure time on Friday.

You wish your family was cool like mine 🙂

P.S. Not sure what the internet situation will be on the weekend, so I’ll be scheduling a couple of posts to publish and keep my NaBloPoMo streak going.