Monday, Monday

The first week after the Time Change really sucks, doesn’t it? Why the fuck is daylight savings time still a thing?

What? It’s not Monday? Crap!

::Looks at calender on computer::

Right you are! Tuesday, then. Whatevs. Does it really matter? Seems like I’m at the office, drafting at home or asleep any given day, regardless of the calender.

Oh, and The Kid is Right.Fucking.There. whenever I’m home. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Kid, but I really wish he would find somewhere else to be on occasion.

Oh, wait! He got a job! Today was his first day. It’s nothing earth-shaking, just the seafood department at the local Slaveway, but it’s the first step to getting his ass off my couch and I ain’t complaining.

He got up at 0615, took the dog out, brought her back in and fed both dog and cat before my alarm even went off. You know I wasn’t asleep, right? I had been awake for half an hour, just in case his alarm didn’t wake him up. Doesn’t every Mom do that? Only me? Whatevs.

He left before I did, leaving me almost five full minutes of peaceful, silent bliss. I sat on the couch, breathing deeply until the smell of his boots intruded and then I breathed a little less deeply, gazing around at my space. My mind was able to block out the clutter that is Not Mine for a few precious minutes and I was content.

Which leads me to the point of this post. I am an introvert. I need some time every day when I am totally alone, no sound, no responsibilities, no movement other than my own if I am to remain congenial and sane. The past three + weeks I have not been alone unless I was in my car and that was usually on the way to a place where I would be faced with people and being all polite and shit and I was wound up about that but trying to keep calm so it doesn’t count. Also, traffic, which is not restful at all when you drive a tiny car in a land of monster trucks.

I am tired. My emotional tank is empty. I’m still recovering from a nasty cold so physically I don’t feel all that great, either. I get no absolute privacy and it’s beginning to show in my attitude.

Okay. Maybe there is no point to this post. Maybe this is just an explanation of my absence. I think about posting every day and then don’t. Also, there’s some Stuff that I want to share but don’t know quite how to share, or even if I should, if it’s all that relevant to this blog, or anything, really, and so I dither.

Anyway. Happy Monday!

 

And we’re back!

June was a busy month!

Sabu got her new Summer ‘do –

She was humiliated with the bows, but she’s sooooo much cooler now. A little razor burn has been bothering her, but today she’s doing much better. She looks so small! I need to get a new harness in a smaller size – I had no idea her fluff added so much to her girth!

Revy developed a new strange habit –

As if mauling anything made of rubber wasn’t bad enough, Revy found this (unfinished) blanket and has been dragging it around, chortling softly. He drags it into the kitchen, lays on it for a few seconds, drags it under the table, into his basket, etc. etc. etc. I have no idea what he’s thinking, but it’s strange to watch. I think he needs to get out more…

I ripped out half the carpet in Towanda and am thrilled with the results – you can read all about it over at Travels with Towanda. Awana and I have designated July RV Renovation Month.

The last alpaca was sheared on Thursday and it feels like I’ve been running ever since. Mo got a call from a woman who needs her five alpacas sheared and it looks like we’ll be taking our little show on the road.

Mom’s neighborhood yard sale is the second weekend in July and I hope to get pictures this time – it’s always a hoot.

July is shaping up to be a very busy month.

In news relevant to this blog, the narc (hereinafter referred to as Captain Bligh) is living the Good Life, sailing up to Canada with friends, where he will pick up his boat and spend a few weeks sailing around and having a wonderful time. How is that fair? Shouldn’t he be covered with boils or something?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled with my life right now, but it just doesn’t seem fair that he’s going on as if I never existed, all the lies he told me being proven by his very actions (I needed to give him more money, more time, more support for his hobbies.)

Maybe he’ll be lost at sea…

 

 

Monday Morning Madness

My eyes snapped open before the alarm this morning. I couldn’t breathe. My heart started to race as I tried to drag in some air around a huge obstruction. Raising my hands to my throat, I encountered a mass of fur that wasn’t there when I went to sleep. It felt like a hairy snake and immediately began to purr. Seems Revy decided to sleep across my neck, sprawled out with his belly resting right on top of my windpipe.

This shouldn’t have been possible, seeing as how I’m normally a side sleeper, but obviously the new bed is comfortable enough that I turn onto my back at the same hour Revy decides to start his wake-up routine. Threat of suffocation is, evidently, the latest in a long line of tactics designed to steal my sleep and get kibble into his bowl in the least amount of time. Guess this means I better not drink before bed or maybe I won’t wake up in the morning.

Spring is in the air and it was a very busy weekend. Thursday, Friday and Saturday saw me awake at 0530. Wide awake and listening to the birds outside. Revy is beside himself with joy. Apparently, his training methods are finally paying off and breakfast is being served on time.

I sewed up a bed for the dog, low in the center with a soft, raised edge, something I thought I could use as a training tool to make her be still instead of barking and having a fit when someone approaches the trailer. You know, train her to act like a Real Dog? As you can see, it was not received as planned:

Revy finds it perfect – a fort to defend against canine insurgents, a bathing platform and soft bed to sprawl upon after racing around like a maniac. The dog has been exiled to whatever small space she can find:

The good news is that the furniture is finally arranged to my liking and the silver insulation has been removed from the windows, letting in the beautiful Spring sunshine. Of course, the brisk Spring breezes now have easier access, but one has to take the good with the not-so-good, no?

 

 

Snow Day :-)

The weathertards have been predicting today’s “weather event” for almost a week. Everyone with any sort of connection to the outside world knew that frigid temps with moisture would be moving into the area the latter part of this week, most likely Thursday. The news has been blasted on radio, TV, social media and a million other online sources.

Right this moment a local “news” reporter is interviewing a Darwin award contender who is wearing a thin coat and has no gloves or hat, shivering at a very crowded bus stop while waiting for his ride home. Dude is clueless. Really? The reporter asked him if he expected “this” when he left home this morning. Dude says, “No. Not at all…” Srsly? At least he’s not driving!

Even if you spent the last week in a media blackout, not speaking to anyone at all, away from all places where people gather, one step outside should have warned you that something was afoot. The freezing of your nose hairs, the lowering steel gray sky, the absence of heavy traffic where once there was a jam, the lack of birds in the sky, something!

The snow had started and a scant inch was on the ground when I left for work this morning. The difference between me and That Guy? I knew my work day would be cut short and I went prepared for pretty much anything.

I would have stayed home but The Boss got back from his Hawaiian vacation today and I knew it would be a good idea to check in with him and make sure my projects were running smoothly. All is well and I joked with him at about 0800, asking how much snow had to be on the ground before he sent us all home. “Whenever you feel uncomfortable about staying…” was his answer. Okie-dokie! I am Miss Dedication today! He called the game by 1115 🙂 Even if he hadn’t, I could have abandoned my car to the tweakers and walked home.

Note to my co-worker who should know better: Dude. Get some chains for your car or stay home.

Being of above average intelligence (obviously) I went to the grocery store last night, before the snow started to fly, and stocked up on perishables so I wouldn’t need to leave Towanda at all should staying in become necessary. I’ve got rum, pepsi, chocolate and assorted other foodstuffs that are healthier. Let it snow! I’m ready.

If the office is closed tomorrow I will stay home and cook up a pot of spaghetti sauce and finally get the vacuuming done. Mo told me Wednesday she will not be opening the yarn shop Friday or Saturday so there’s no good reason for me to go over to the Studio. She lives quite a ways out of town and at a higher elevation – her alpacas will need her if their water freezes up.

Sabu is over the moon with all the white stuff, capering about like a puppy, getting snowballs in her feet and refusing to shake off the flakes until she gets inside. No matter – the dehumidifier is running and all is well.

The outside temp is 20* F at the  moment and falling. A light snow is falling from a surprisingly light sky. The one thing I love about a good snowfall is how it lights up everything, even at night. It’s quite pretty, actually. I may change my mind about the beauty if the water pipes freeze up, however. The furnace is set at 60* (Awana just shivered 🙂 Being from Mississippi she does not handle this kind of cold well) and it’s warm enough inside, sitting on the couch under the newest quilt with a cup of tea, waiting for Under the Gunn to come on. Life is good!

Be warm and be well, everyone!

 

A little slice of life ’round here

Getting used to the “new” camera. Strange that it can shoot video in low light but not stills, but that’s a post for another day. This is what the evenings look like around here –

After they’re done wrestling I go around and pick up all the stuff they knocked down. Sigh. It’s a bit wearing, but it’s also a lot of fun to watch. They’re the very best of friends and I wish they could go outside together to really rip it up.

Today marks my one year anniversary! At 11:45 AM on January 20, 2013 I drove away from the narc’s house with the last of the stuff I couldn’t live without. I have lived one year under my own roof without the influence of the narc on my everyday routine. The video above would not have been possible while living with the narc, as joy was not permitted unless it was his own.

So many wonderful things have happened over the past year and I have been so blessed in every way. The narc was truly a millstone around my neck, holding me back from using my full potential to create the life that would enable me to be happy and fulfilled.

To all of you in abusive relationships: there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Be brave. Throw off your shackles and walk into the light. It’s hard. It sucks. It’s scary. But it’s worth every hardship to live a life free of abuse.

Life is good! 27 irons in the fire, all of them glowing brightly, lighting my path to happiness. Thank you all for joining me on this journey 🙂

 

Dry, Frozen Wasteland

Pretty, no?

Here we are at Monday again. The pond at the park is frozen over. The ducks have moved elsewhere. The squirrels are capering about like maniacs, making any walking with Sabu a tug-of-war adventure. All doors but the front passenger door on my car are frozen shut.

Friday I did not leave the water dripping when I went to work. I would only be gone 5 hours or so and I was worried that the drain would freeze and I’d come home to water all over the floor. Big mistake. The water line to the kitchen froze, but it was fine as there was still water to the bath sink and toilet. Not HOT water because the hot water tank is up by the kitchen sink, but it was water.

I awoke Saturday morning because I was cold. Had Mr. Right Toasty deserted me? Were we to have only three nights of blissful slumber before he failed? Do I still have the receipt to return him to the store? I was sorely disappointed because I thought it was True Love between us – he would get plugged in at bedtime and keep me warm and happy all night long and in return I would care for him, carefully folding him and storing his cord in a safe place until it was time for him to do his job again.

Before I started to cry at the injustice of it all, I realized my nose was cold. Ears, too. Mr. Right Toasty doesn’t warm those parts, and now that I thought about it, the furnace wasn’t coming on. Shit! Ran out of propane. Sigh.

No worries – the nearest place to purchase propane is less than half a mile away and even if my car wouldn’t start, I could load a tank onto my hand truck and walk that far. It wouldn’t be fun, but it could be done. Checked the outside temp. 17* F. Inside temp? 42* F. Not good. I’m really, really, OVER Winter already!

There was some drama after filling the propane tanks, but it all turned out well in the end.

The water situation, however, remains dire. It’s a long story that I posted over on Travels with Towanda.

The Crazy Knitting Project continues, although the going is slower than I had hoped. I don’t think I’ll make the deadline. All this Winter Crap is just exhausting.

Work is slow today, for which I am thankful as I spent the night only half sleeping, listening to the furnace cycle on and off and the various creaks and moans of the trailer as it slowly turns into a block of ice. If everything thaws without incident it will be a miracle. As it is, there are some areas that will have to be attended to ASAP because I think I have a couple of leaks. Sigh. I wanted adventure, right? I tell ya, I did not plan on freezing my ass off this Winter, wondering when the floor was finally going to fall through the forward slide.

Fun times!

 

First Snow of the year

Someone was thrilled when I opened the door this morning and the steps were covered in 2″ of snow:

Snow! Forgot how wonderful SNOW is!!!!!!!!!

She almost yanked me out the door when she bounded out, skipping the steps entirely, but I was braced against her joy. 26* F and three inches of snow on the ground at 0630 with more falling. There’s about 4″ out there now and Sabu is out of her mind.

“Let’s chase ducks! What’s that over there?!? Here comes a car – what joy!!!!!”

She was capering about like a puppy, trying to make me drop the leash so she could get a good lead for a chase across the neighborhood. Hopefully we’ll be able to get to the dog park this afternoon – she needs to run off some of her exuberance.

 

And the angels sang

All has not been peaceful at night here in the land of Towanda. The weather has been crazy cold and yours truly is cheap Scotch frugal enough to feel the need to conserve resources whenever possible. This means the furnace gets turned down to 60* at night, which frankly only means nothing is frozen in the trailer in the morning, not that the air is actually 60*. The damned thing still wakes me up coming on way too often. (Yes, I also use oil-filled electric space heaters.)

I’d been waking up with aching teeth, which I was terrified meant I could put off a mountain of dental work no longer, but upon reflection I decided it could be because I was sleeping cold enough to grind my teeth all night but not cold enough to wake up fully, and I piled on every blanket in the place in an effort to find some lasting warmth. Let me tell you, 50 pounds of quilts + 50 pounds of dog on top of a person does not a good night’s sleep make. Add a wool hat and a kitten who insists that 0200 is the perfect time to play King of the Mountain, and I was waking up exhausted and miserable.

I stopped at a nearby Bed Bath & Beyond on Sunday and purchased $100 worth of fancy pillows to find some relief. Monday morning found me waking with no kink in my neck for the first time in weeks. At last – a step in the right direction! I was still being crushed and sleeping in a wool hat, though.

And then I saw Vagina’s post yesterday, an ode to her dead heated blanket. A lightbulb went on!

WTF didn’t I think of that? Silly question, really – the narc didn’t believe in leaving the heat on at night and he would never have considered “wasting” all that electricity with a heated blanket just so we could sleep, fer cryin’ out loud. Whatever his other faults, the man slept like a blast furnace and I was never cold. He was a big fan of “acclimating” which is narc-speak for gritting one’s teeth and freezing all Winter because “the  natives from this area didn’t even have clothes – they wore bear grease and woven reeds – and we are weak white people who need to toughen up” and other such nonsense.

I found my new best friend at the local Bi-Mart. $45 is a lot to spend on a thin blanket, but I was desperate. I have to admit the thought ran through my head that if I could just tough it out long enough to get the next quilt project finished up I would save all that money, but the desire for a full night’s sleep won out and I ponied up the cash.

Back at the Manse, I put off going to bed as long as I could in the hope that fatigue would send me over the edge into sleep more easily. I made up the bed, putting the heated blanket between two thin quilts, one to protect me, one to keep the heat in, provided the thing even worked right. I’ll admit I was skeptical, even after Vagina’s glowing endorsement of heated blankets. It all sounded too good to be true and I was prepared to be disappointed.

I optimistically set the heat dial at ‘4’ (it ranges from 1 to 10) and crawled into bed, Sons of Anarchy on the tube, waiting for the magic to start.

OMG. Magic doesn’t begin to describe it. Slowly, slowly, the heat began to build until it settled at the Perfect Temperature, just like it knew what I needed. Not too hot, but toasty warm from shoulders to (amazing!) toes. The warmth enveloped me, pulling my eyes closed as surely as if it was a drug. Dog and cat hopped onto the bed and for once did not settle against my legs, pushing me off the side of the bed, letting in cold air with every movement – they could feel the magic, too.

I fell asleep like I’d had two Margaritas and mind-blowing sex. I fell like a rock into a soothing warm abyss.

I woke in the middle of the night, not sure what was wrong. I lay there for a minute, assessing the situation. I realized the unthinkable had happened – my feet were too warm! I actually had to take my wool socks off in the middle of the night! In December! It’s unheard of. I mean, my naked feet don’t feel sheets until some time in late April or early May!

The ringing of the alarm was most unwelcome this morning. I hit snooze four times. I didn’t want to leave the comforting embrace of my wonderful blanket. Duty called, however, and I unplugged him, carefully folded him and tucked him away for tonight.

The outside temp this morning was 25*F. The driver’s side door of my car was frozen shut. The window scraper has gone missing – not really a big loss as it had some broken teeth, but still. I crawled over the passenger seat to start the car and get it heating up before work. Crawled back out to walk Sabu (she looked at me like I’d lost my mind.) Still frozen after 10 minutes of blasting heat. Crawled back in and drove to work. Crawled out at work, thankful no one was in the parking lot to see. God, I hate Winter!

All I can think about is how wonderful it will be to join my lovely warm friend in bed again tonight. He totally gets me. He knows just what I need – currents of warmth all night long, wrapping me in peaceful slumber.

He needs a name – nothing too fancy as he’s 100% polyester, after all, and a creamy-beige color. Suggestions?

 

A messy desk…

means what? I can’t recall, but it’s good, right? Last night was a busy evening, catching up on all the Cleaning Chores that were neglected while the Soap Marathon 2013 was in full swing (did manage to get the laundry done, though) and it was clear that the desk needed some prompt attention:

No apologies. It was a disaster. I was just too tired to get to it over the weekend. There was some moisture in the cupboards above the desk, so a few things were pulled out and set atop the growing pile while the cupboards dried out. There was a cat in the picture seconds before this shot, but I missed him.

Here it is, ready for NaNo:

I even dusted! I need to find some sort of fancy boxes with lids to hold all the small stuff because that darned cat thinks anything that’s not nailed down is a toy. God only knows what he’s stashed behind the couch!

The more I use this desk, the less I like it. What I really want to do is build another, much like the desk the narc built for me years ago that I left behind (it would not have fit through the door) out of old hollow core doors. Very light weight, but very strong, and pretty, too. It’s on the Project List…

 

Another one of THOSE posts

Yep, it’s another one of those middle-aged-woman-does-perfectly-ordinary-stuff-and-is-over-the-moon-about-it posts. I can’t help myself and I hope you will indulge me a few more times as I internalize that this is my New Normal.

Last weekend was a long one. The office was closed both Thursday and Friday, leaving four sunny days with nothing to do but what I wanted to do. I can’t remember the last time I had that many days in a row to spend exactly as I saw fit!

July 4 Sabu and I spent laying around, trying to ignore fireworks going off all over town. We ate, we napped, we walked around the park chatting and enjoying the sunshine. We went to bed early and slept well, knowing Friday was a Sleep In Day.

Friday was busier, and very productive. We went to the bank to have my RV loan transferred over to my local Credit Union. The Customer Service there is great! And I can make payments online with no penalties for early re-payment or hidden fees or headaches. I figure I can get Towanda paid off in less than three years if I keep my current job and put a good portion of my wages towards the debt. Nice!

Someone mowed the dog park, so a lively game of fetch (with the squeaky ball!) came next and when Sabu was finally winded, we headed back to the park to take care of a task that has been put off too long: sanitizing and purging the water lines and installing a water filter. It’s not complicated, just time consuming: fill the water storage tank, add bleach, run the water until you smell bleach at each faucet, let sit three hours, flush well and there ya go! So now we’re drinking filtered City water instead of filling gallon jugs every few days. I know, right? Thrilling!

After a nap, we cleaned and organized, putting shelf liner in the pantry and bringing order to the chaos that ruled before. Vacuuming and dusting and surfing the ‘net and painting my nails (fingers and toes!) and into bed with a couple episodes of the original Star Trek.

Let me just say that the first ten episodes are not the best. Only Nichelle Nichols (Uhura) and George Takai (Sulu) seem to be comfortable in their roles from the start – everyone else struggled with expressions and dialogue, making it hard to believe in the characters. And the dramatic lighting! Wow, that was cheesy.

Anyway. Saturday I made a curtain for the kitchen window (I hate, hate, hate the blinds on all of the windows!) and covered two throw pillows with some lovely fabric that is so ME. More organizing – Awana will be spending some time here and will need a place to roll out her bed, making it imperative to have some elbow room – and cleaning and the place smells new. A scented candle (the Narc never allowed candles, scented or otherwise) helped create a relaxing atmosphere. I made sun tea for the first time in five years and drank two quarts. Paradise!

Sunday I covered two chair seats and a small stool with red vinyl and oiled the wood. They look brand new and I love them! Spent an hour with Charlotte and met her cat Kenzie, a gorgeous seal-point Siamese who is obviously King of his house. Yeah, chatting, sitting in the shade, drinking sweet iced tea, reading*, watching the world go buy. It’s a thrill a minute!

So, yeah, a weekend that would seem, on the surface, to be perfectly ordinary, even (dare I say it?) boring, was my idea of Wonderful. Not once did anyone tell me how worthless/irresponsible/lazy/fat/inconsiderate I am. Not once did anyone object or even comment about my food choices, entertainment choices, nail polish** color, clothing choice, or the fact that I took two showers in one day 🙂

Next weekend I will be doing some of my favorite things: visiting my son and dropping off my electric fiddle and amp for him to borrow; helping Mom with her neighborhood yard sale (note to self: if you fill the car with stuff from the House of Mom, you won’t be able to pack it full of wool on Sunday); and driving (gasp! driving for something not related to boats!) to a Wool Festival on Sunday where I will meet-up with Awana and we will pet sheep, goats and bunnies until we are giddy on the fumes, whereupon we will caravan back to Towanda for some fabulous food and good times. There might be alcohol involved before night’s end and no party crashers are invited!

Life is good!

* Damn you, JA Konrath! I was up way too late Sunday night finishing Three and I blame you for my scratchy eyes Monday morning at work. But I loved the trilogy, so forgive me, ‘K? Working my way through all of your novels and loving every minute, but I fear it may be developing into an unhealthy habit…

** There was a time when I was pretty devoted to my fingernails and how they looked. I buffed, filed, polished and kept them looking good at all times because I grow strong, long, natural nails and that’s kinda rare and I was vain about their appearance – no matter what else was going on in my life, I could count on my nails looking good. The Narc put a stop to that, telling me it was pointless vanity and that he hated women with painted nails, blah, blah, blah. When I started playing the fiddle I started cutting them short but there’s no reason I can’t paint them now that I work in an office, and paint them I will! Took a couple of days to get used to seeing color on them again – every time my hands came into my field of vision, I gave a little start, almost not believing those sparkly nails were mine. Weird, I know. I embrace the weird now, and post it on the interwebs for everyone to marvel at 🙂