Second Verse

05 Feb

Finally talked to The Boy on Monday night. He had plans to visit an Army recruiter Tuesday. WTF??? Now, no offense to my son, but that kid would not make it in the military. I just. I mean, srsly?

Hiding my skepticism, I said encouraging words, offered once again to pay his rent this month and promised to be there for him whatever he decided.

Yesterday morning I get this text –

“I need help”

Nothing more, just those three words. After catching my breath I dialed the phone. He was in tears and the background noise was traffic. I asked him where he was and he said he didn’t know. All alarms ringing now, I told him to get to somewhere safe, that I was on my way and would call when I was in the neighborhood. He texted 30 minutes later that he was at a friend’s and would wait for me there.

So. The Rest of the Story is that he did not try to get a job or find a roommate and vacated his apartment on the first. While he never told me a direct lie, he did leave out some facts and talked around some of my pointed questions. We’ll deal with that later.

He carried most of his stuff down to the dumpster – the remainder (minus his bike which said friend is storing for him for now) fit into the back of my tiny car. His glasses* were a smashed wreck, no screws, one lens falling out, so our first stop was Visionworks in the Washington Square Mall. Lemme tell you what – those guys know their job! Mike (hope I got his name right) was able to clean, repair and adjust what I thought was a hopeless cause and The Boy looks respectable again. It’s a miracle, I tell ya!

I brought him home with me and we’ve been talking about his life and where he wants to go. He is rudderless at the moment, not knowing what he wants to do next (but still talking about the Army) depressed and confused. He’s spending the today out at the alpaca ranch with Awana doing the heavy lifting she can’t.

Rest, food and hard physical work will clear his head. How long it will take remains a mystery, but he’s welcome to stay as long as he needs to.

Sigh. I am tired.

* He has always been hard on glasses – the screws just fall out no matter what we do to prevent it. I told him to go over to the mall and have the screws replaced, that they do it for free so you’ll come back, but he always denied that they do walk-in stuff like that for free. Hah! Mom Was Right. AGAIN! “I never thought it would be so easy…would have come over sooner if I’d known I could get them fixed for free…” and so on. Prolly won’t let him forget this any time soon…


Posted by on February 5, 2015 in Family, The Boy, You're kidding


Tags: ,

5 responses to “Second Verse

  1. goldfish

    February 5, 2015 at 2:54 pm

    I hope he gets back on his feet soon for both your sakes.

  2. mincs1

    February 5, 2015 at 4:22 pm

    This is truly an example of everything you never expected about being a mom. I hope that he finds his way soon.

  3. Scott

    February 6, 2015 at 11:04 am

    (hugs) Hopefully he’ll accept your guidance and get back on track soon.

  4. Pippa Pirrip

    February 13, 2015 at 10:24 am

    Not to compare your son to my brother, but just relay an experience. My brother went through a similar rudderless time and joined the Army seemingly out of the blue. Worst thing ever. He’d always been coddled, in fact, my mother called boot camp wanting to “have a talk” with the mean drill Sargent who was “picking on” her baby. Ugh. Anyway, I don’t blame any of this on the Army, I know the order of military life has helped some people, and In retrospect I realize my brother was already displaying symptoms of schizophrenia before he ever enlisted, but the Army sure didn’t help. His delusions went full-blown and violent, he was eventually discharged.

    Again, I don’t want it to come off as if I’m suggesting a similarity between the 2, but I just want to say I think it might be better for him to relax, feel more in control of himself and his life before making a commitment to give up the little autonomy he may feel he has left. Think he’d go to a therapist for a bit? Talk it out with a third party?

    • Sofia Leo

      February 17, 2015 at 10:44 am

      I totally agree with you about the military not being the best place for him. He hasn’t been coddled, but he lives inside his head enough that he would not do well in boot camp, I’m sure. If he can’t find a job very soon I fear he may do it just to be moving forward. Sigh. Can’t live his life for him, but I try 🙂


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