Dogs on Thursday

11 Dec

Finally feeling rested after a whirlwind weekend. The laundry is done, dishes washed, clutter (sorta) cleared away and today Sabu went to the groomer for a bath, blow-out and pedicure –

12-11-14 SabuI swear, this dog draws a crowd wherever she goes! There was a line at the checkout and people started piling up behind us. Sabu went into full on Performance Mode and had the ladies eating out of her hand. None of them had treats, but this dog is an eternal optimist.

“What a beautiful dog!”

“She’s so white! You must spend a lot of time grooming her…”

“Look at those freckles! How adorable!”

“What a good dog!”

And on and on. Here’s the truth, folks –

  • Sabu is a Bad Dog. She does all sorts of Bad Dog Things every damned day. You got to see her at her best – desperate to get away from the sadistic ladies in the grooming room. She’ll do anything to get out of there and ten seconds after the doors shut behind us she’ll be up to her usual antics, probably pulling me off my feet.
  • She IS white. Today. Probably tomorrow, too, but not much longer if she rolls in something foul or otherwise messes herself up. She’s not a Girly Dog and prefers to be dirty. Lucky for me most of the hard dirt falls off with no further intervention and she doesn’t matt up if I hold her down and force a brush through her coat every now and again.
  • I do not spend much time grooming her because she is a Drama Queen and it would be quieter if I actually disemboweled her instead of just torturing her with a slicker brush. She won’t let anyone but the cat groom her tail and brushing her back legs is accompanied by growls and evasive maneuvers. I pay the ladies at the groomer to clean her up and they are worth every penny!
  • She will eat everything she finds that even remotely resembles anything edible. Half rotted, unidentifiable substance on the pavement? Yup. Poo of any kind except her own? You betcha. If whatever it is makes her vomit, she will happily scarf it down again if it’s still fresh. She likes to help out around the house by cleaning out the litterbox, too. Yup, she’s That Dog. Preventive measures have been employed at home but taking her to someone else’s house is always an adventure.
  • You cannot leave food unattended for even a second or it will disappear. You know how most people have a “5 second rule” for food that gets dropped on the floor? The 5 second rule does not apply if you have a 2 second dog! If you want to eat that food, better keep it on your plate and don’t turn your back on this dog. She doesn’t counter surf, but anything left lower than that height is fair game in Sabu’s book.
  • She has no sense of loyalty when out on a walk. If she gets away from me she will run off, chasing anything that moves and jumping on people. Oh, eventually she comes back, but never at my request.
  • Her car is her bat cave and she will defend it at all costs. It’s embarrassing. There she is, sitting in the back seat (the whole back seat, as is her right) looking out the window, posing so cute and someone sees her and approaches the car, talking all high-pitched and cutesy. Sabu waits until they’re within three feet and then goes all Cujo, clawing at the window, fangs out, snarling, barking and looking like a rabid maniac. Scares the shit out of people. So far, to my knowledge, she’s only made one person actually fall down, but still…

She came to me with issues and for the most part we’ve overcome them, but she is far from the Good Dog she plays in public.

Sigh. I still love her, though.




Posted by on December 11, 2014 in Dogs



12 responses to “Dogs on Thursday

  1. JackieP

    December 11, 2014 at 3:38 pm

    I had to laugh, I’m sorry, but the picture in my mind when she goes all Cujo on people just made me laugh. 🙂
    I can understand the drama queen bit when she gets groomed, my Sam is the same. You would think he was being gutted alive. Thank goodness my groomer comes to my house so it’s just one on one and he loves her, so it makes things a bit more manageable.

    • Sofia Leo

      December 11, 2014 at 3:45 pm

      It’s amazing to see. She looks so darned CUTE sitting there and then totally loses her shit if someone gets too close to her bat-cave. Totally different animal!

  2. Scott

    December 12, 2014 at 10:23 am

    I didn’t know dogs could have freckles.

    • Sofia Leo

      December 12, 2014 at 10:58 am

      Yup. I’ll add a face shot to the post…

  3. janeybgood

    December 29, 2014 at 12:24 pm

    She is adorable. My dog is also very disloyal when we’re out walking. She actually started following a different family one day because they had food. I was yelling and she was doing her whole “I can’t hear you” routine. Mortifying.

    I’m laughing at the picture of your dog. She knows how pretty she is!

    • Sofia Leo

      December 29, 2014 at 1:51 pm

      Sabu would totally follow anyone with food!

      In fact one day at the dog park, a clueless dude came inside with his dog and he brought a burger in a box. Bad idea! Sabu stuck to him like glue, trying to knock the box out of his hands (food on the ground is fair game, right?) until he exited to sit on a bench outside the fence.

      Sabu sat against the fence, whining softly, drooling all over herself, willing that dude with every ounce of her being to let her have the last bite. It went on for 15 minutes.

      Finally, dude ate all he was going to eat, set the remains in the box and went to the gate where he called HIS dog over, let him out and fed him the remains of the burger.

      Sabu was crushed. Here she had begged, right and proper, for that last little bit and dude gave it to a dog who didn’t even watch him eat every single bite with soft, worshipful eyes.

      It was embarrassing.

      • janeybgood

        December 29, 2014 at 2:04 pm

        Poor Sabi. After all her hard work. She was right to be crushed. My girl knows a lot of tricks so she randomly starts giving the paw, rolling over and twirling, all insanely quickly and then waiting for her reward food. It’s ridiculous. I have another dog too but he is not very smart. He can just about “sit” and even that takes a lot of thinking.

      • Sofia Leo

        December 29, 2014 at 2:12 pm

        Sabu doesn’t have many tricks in her bag, which is sad because she just looks spastic instead of cute. Trying to teach her to shake her paw but she’s playing dumb…

      • janeybgood

        December 29, 2014 at 2:33 pm

        Maybe she’s holding out for more treats, in which case she’s a genius!

      • Sofia Leo

        December 29, 2014 at 2:35 pm

        She already gets maximum treats, to the point she’s gained a bit of weight and now she’s mad at me for shorting her meals! Her goal is to Eat ALL The Food! All The Time! She’d weigh 100 pounds if she had her way, and not be able to walk…

      • janeybgood

        December 29, 2014 at 2:38 pm

        Chubby dogs are really cute but I know it’s not what you want really. My boy needs to lose a few pounds too. My girl is the same. There is no filling her up. She inhales her food but she never gains weight. I’m a little jealous of her.

      • Sofia Leo

        December 29, 2014 at 2:48 pm

        She didn’t used to gain weight, but she’s older now (7) and beginning to slow down and show her age…


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