29 Jul

For the past year and a half I have been physically free of the narc but every single day I have heard his voice in my head. We argue about everything and I always win. I know, it sounds crazy, but I’ve feared that one day I would see him drive by or he would stop by my office and provoke me into causing a scene. Irrational, I know, but he has been so entrenched in my head that there was not much I could do.

Last week I saw that he had a new blog post up – I visit one of his blog friends and he’s in the sidebar. He was back from his epic sailing trip. I read the post. I visited his flickr page. He has found someone new! Her name is Heather and she can drive the boat – he has a short video to prove it!

As the pictures scrolled by I found myself smiling. Really smiling big. He’s found someone new! He won’t be coming after me, slithering into my life, embarrassing me at work or harassing me on the street! He is now otherwise occupied!

OMG I could not be happier! I fairly bounced out of the office (you don’t think I’d waste precious “spare” time at home with surfing the ‘net, did you?) confident that he was at last gone forever.

And you know what? I haven’t heard his voice in my head since then. Thursday, I think it was. Glorious silence! No internal arguments, no debates, no imaginary scenarios playing out day after day.

I think I’m finally free of him.

That evening I was walking Sabu and spied a new neighbor, Stan, walking his dog, Blue. Yowza! What a hottie!

Whatever, you may say, but I haven’t looked at a man and had any impure thoughts since I left the narc. I almost feel like I have a new lease on life. Hard to describe.

And, no, there is never going to be anything between me and Stan – I’m feeling free, not insane 🙂

ETA: Jackie wondered what they look like and I’m feeling just bitchy enough to add this picture and a bit of commentary –

14540483858_8b25b6d7d6_zFrom left to right – Chuck (I’ve mentioned him before) Chuck’s new gal, some really tall dude, Heather and the Narc. There’s a better pic online, but I chose this one so I could tell a little story.

The last time I saw her, Chuck’s wife of 30 years was losing her marbles. She was lucid sometimes, but it was clear she was going downhill fast. I’ve searched for her death notice online but did not find it. There are quite a few pictures of this couple (the narc calls she and Heather “crew” for their sailing trip – two boats, one couple on each boat) that show they are much more than just friends. I find this repugnant – if the wife is no longer mentally present in the marriage it’s perfectly OK for a man to take a lover, but let a woman do the same thing and she gets all kinds of crap thrown at her. Loyalty, ’til death do us part and all that. Hypocrites! Anyway. There ya go.


Posted by on July 29, 2014 in I totally Rock!, Narcissist, Narcland


Tags: , , ,

12 responses to “Finally!

  1. El Guapo

    July 29, 2014 at 3:54 pm

    That’s a great epitaph!

    (Poor Heather.)

    • Sofia Leo

      July 29, 2014 at 3:56 pm

      I don’t feel one bit sorry – she looks like she can handle herself and maybe she’ll chew him up and spit him out like he deserves. Then again, I really don’t give a fuck 🙂

  2. Awana

    July 29, 2014 at 4:02 pm

    I hope she does, too. It will be interesting.

  3. JackieP

    July 29, 2014 at 5:03 pm

    Now you got me curious as to what he and heather look like LOL…..
    I am so happy you are finally free lady. You deserve it and it’s been a hell of a ride!

  4. Jenny Sheppard

    July 29, 2014 at 11:02 pm

    well we’ll see how long this lasts LOL ….1) he needs money so she must have some …but yes you can finally get that douche bag out of you mind and Poor Heather..oh well not your problem, she doesn’t know what is going to hit her UNLESS she stands her ground and knocks him to his knees! ….I learned to love myself and be with better more loving people in my life and teach my daughter to stay away from Narcs…it felt so good to be free!!!

    • Sofia Leo

      July 30, 2014 at 3:09 pm

      I don’t care how long it lasts – just knowing he’s not thinking about messing up my life is fine with me!

  5. Melanie

    July 30, 2014 at 6:00 am

    Yay! Hooray! Happy happy joy joy! I’m so glad his voice has disappeared from your head. Freedom!!

    • Sofia Leo

      July 30, 2014 at 3:09 pm

      It’s quite a little miracle and I am grateful.

  6. Twindaddy

    July 30, 2014 at 6:49 am

    Good riddance.

  7. rpward51

    August 14, 2014 at 7:44 pm



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