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V-day

14 Feb

Here we are again at the second most commercial American Holiday. For those of you not aware, this is the red hearts holiday, as opposed to the red and white candy cane one.

I’ve always had a problem with V-day. It’s so fake. So contrived. So commercial. So fucking stupid. Even as a kid, I resented having to give everyone in class a cheap little card when mostly I hated them all. Oh, Miss Sofie had no use for the imbeciles she was forced to spend time with every day. If she could have stooped so low as to use curse words, she would have sounded like a sailor describing the wild animals in class.

But this isn’t about childhood trauma. This post is all about that most “romantic” of days – Valentine’s Day.

God I hate the hypocrisy of V-day. Last year was the first V-day in 25 years that I “celebrated” as a single woman. The liberation was as sweet as the darkest fudge brownie, rolling across the palate like a fine Merlot, scenting the air with the fine fragrance of a hot lavender bubble bath.

And then the narc started in with his bullshit. I did my best to ignore it, celebrating Galentine’s Day with Awana instead, but the narc was persistent. When I failed to respond to his offers of love, he got mad. And then I got mad. I quit being civil and started telling him what I really thought of him. I had to explain to people why I wasn’t broken up over the ending of my relationship because everyone thought I was nuts for not being miserable to be spending V-day alone.

Ha! You know, I can’t recall a happy V-day. A box of chocolates (cheap, stale chocolates, usually) and/or an impersonal card do not a happy day make. It’s like the men in my life felt obligated to get these things for me but there was never any sincerity behind their actions. It was so obvious to me at the time, but I ignored my gut and thanked them. What a chump I was!

I could go on and on about how if two people love each other, every day should be romantic and loving, but fuck that shit. Being single rocks! I have everything I need with none of the obligations and pleasing another person to contend with. It’s all about ME now and I’m still loving it.

I don’t miss having someone to cuddle on this “most romantic” of days because I know there won’t be any obligatory sex on the agenda either.

I don’t miss being chastised for my lack of romance or abysmal gift-giving skills.

I sure don’t miss being told “it would take eight of you to keep me entertained.

Fuck all that shit. I’m sorry for you singletons out there who are unhappy about your relationship state – I can’t relate, but I do want everyone to be happy 🙂

On this day, go forth and love the one you’re with, even if it’s just you…

And quit being influenced by the media hype over this stupid day – it’s all bullshit designed to make you feel Less Than whatever the current trend is.

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21 responses to “V-day

  1. Awana

    February 14, 2014 at 10:26 am

    You got DAT right, Miz Sofie! It didn’t take but until the second Valentine’s Day for the truth and weirdness to come out–stunning, stinging words to make sure no money was spent and no present enjoyed…who has anxiety about being given a gift from the heart? WEll, you know!

     
    • Sofia Leo

      February 14, 2014 at 10:33 am

      I know, right? WTF is up with that?!? Being single is soooo much better. If only I had a bathtub…

       
  2. behindthemaskofabuse

    February 14, 2014 at 10:41 am

    Woot! You brought that home!! Happy Galentines day!

     
  3. Twindaddy

    February 14, 2014 at 10:48 am

    You seem a bit bitter. 😉

    Seriously, as long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters. And as long as you’re happy, I’m happy for you!

     
    • Sofia Leo

      February 14, 2014 at 10:52 am

      Really? I’m not bitter, but I am irritated that I wasted so many years on men who are assholes. Maybe I am bitter about the wasted time. Maybe also a bit at the commercialization of “romance” and how pointless it all is.

      Today is a good day, though – it’s not raining (at the moment) and the freezing temps have moved somewhere else.

      Gonna visit the dog park and then teach a sock knitting class. Followed by furniture re-arranging, something for dinner, and maybe a rum & coke before bed. A pretty good day, overall. Maybe I’ll even do the laundry, which I quite enjoy 🙂

       
      • Twindaddy

        February 14, 2014 at 10:53 am

        It was a joke!!

        And any day that includes a rum and coke is normally a good day.

         
      • Sofia Leo

        February 14, 2014 at 10:56 am

        Oh, okay! I’m sitting at my desk at work, chuckling over this post and not feeling the least bit sorry for myself and was worried that maybe I was hiding my True Feelings behind a mask of carefree nonchalance – I’ve been accused of not knowing what my feelings are in the past, ya know 🙂

         
      • Twindaddy

        February 14, 2014 at 11:02 am

        No, no, no. I’ve never once doubted your sincerity. I’m very well aware of how happy you are now and I’m ecstatic about that. It was just an (evidently poor) attempt at humor on my part.

         
      • Sofia Leo

        February 14, 2014 at 11:08 am

        I have been rather introspective lately – maybe I’m thinking too hard 🙂

         
      • Twindaddy

        February 14, 2014 at 11:24 am

        Oh no! Don’t hurt yourself. Perhaps you should just start drinking the rum now.

         
      • Sofia Leo

        February 18, 2014 at 2:15 pm

        LOL! Rum makes everything better 🙂

         
      • Twindaddy

        February 18, 2014 at 2:29 pm

        It does!

         
  4. El Guapo

    February 14, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    Hell yes.
    And I hope you get yourself whatever it is you want if you do decide to celebrate.

     
    • Sofia Leo

      February 18, 2014 at 2:14 pm

      Didn’t “celebrate” unless you count a quiet evening at home with a cup of tea and more of the Bones marathon celebrating. Sure felt good, though 🙂

       
  5. Lee

    February 14, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    Real love is great . . . no matter what kind it is!

    Fake love is not . . . and all the hearts and flowers just underline how hollow it is.

    I do love that “love the one you’re with” line! 🙂

     
    • Sofia Leo

      February 18, 2014 at 2:14 pm

      I love my dog 🙂 And the cat. Mostly…

       
  6. Annie Chace

    February 14, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    Reblogged this on Parrots, Prose, and Poetry.

     
  7. rpward51

    February 14, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    Happy Friday to you, Sofia, with no strings, shitty shallow presents, or meaningless words attached.
    –Bob

     
    • Sofia Leo

      February 18, 2014 at 2:13 pm

      Thank you for that, Bob 🙂

       

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