Another visit to Narcland

06 Jan

Just signed on to the computer because Sabu has taken my spot on the couch where I was knitting a hat that isn’t working out the way I want it to (might as well let it simmer in the back of my brain until the dog gets tired of the couch, right?) and found this in my inbox:

Will you marry me?

No, I’m not crazy. dead serious. 

WTF? From the narc, of course. He must have lost his mind if he thinks this is going to get a response from me. If it weren’t so late I would be sending out “update your contact info” messages, but I don’t yet have everyone sorted into groups – I plan to use a couple of addresses to separate “friends & family” from “business.”

Anyway. This. This is beyond the Pale. Part of me wants to fire off a nasty response. A poison missive that will boil his eyeballs right out of his head. The logical part of my brain knows that any response at all would only be feeding his fire. I refuse to play his games. I’m blogging instead 🙂

In 14 days I will have been away from that man for a full year. I guess he’s getting desperate now. Too bad he’s still a dick. It doesn’t rain but it pours…


Posted by on January 6, 2014 in Crazy, Emotional Abuse, Narcissist, Narcland


Tags: , ,

37 responses to “Another visit to Narcland

  1. Awana

    January 6, 2014 at 9:27 pm

    You poor thing! Run!!! He really needs the money!!!!!

    • Sofia Leo

      January 7, 2014 at 7:58 am

      LOL! I’m sure that’s his prime motivation. Guess he didn’t really think about how my leaving would affect his bottom line 🙂

  2. overitblogdotcom

    January 6, 2014 at 10:12 pm

    Wow,,,he really doesn’t give up does he?

    • Sofia Leo

      January 7, 2014 at 7:59 am

      I know, right? This is totally out of left field. He spent years telling anyone who would listen that we weren’t married because I turned him down when he asked three weeks into our relationship. I thought he was crazy. Turns out I was right!

  3. Awana

    January 7, 2014 at 12:30 am

    He is gracing you with the finest compliment a man can give–think about it…you have been CHOSEN!!!! Congratulations…not…

    • Sofia Leo

      January 7, 2014 at 8:00 am

      Chosen (in his mind) is right, but I am refusing this particular “honor” in favor of my sanity 🙂

  4. Melanie

    January 7, 2014 at 5:23 am

    Any kind of response will let him know his emails are getting through. Laugh at it. It’s funny in a desperate kind of way. Celebrate your anniversary month. Forget him.

    • Sofia Leo

      January 7, 2014 at 8:01 am

      He won’t be getting a response from me, rest assured. I gotta get that account closed down ASAP!

  5. 3kids2cats1divorce

    January 7, 2014 at 8:45 am

    What the hell kind of marriage could that be when you haven’t seen each other or spoken in a year? This one gives me even more creeps that Mr. DickPic. Congrats for not wasting another year on the Narc. And yay for no response!

    • Sofia Leo

      January 7, 2014 at 11:07 am

      I’ve only been No Contact since June 20, but still, that’s well over six months and he thinks I’ll respond to a proposal now? Delusional, for sure!

  6. Jenny Sheppard

    January 7, 2014 at 8:47 am

    yeah get that account closed ASAP, you owe him nothing…..what a pitiful jerk!!

    • Sofia Leo

      January 7, 2014 at 11:08 am

      I’m working on it! Not going as smoothly as Gmail would have you believe it can…

  7. Twindaddy

    January 7, 2014 at 8:48 am

    Wow. Just wow. I’ll help you sort out your contacts if it gets this done any faster. You don’t need any of this shit.

    • Sofia Leo

      January 7, 2014 at 11:08 am

      I was able to export/import my contacts just fine, but now I want to import the old emails and it’s not going so well. Beginning to think Gmail sucks…

      • Twindaddy

        January 7, 2014 at 12:48 pm

        Do you have an email client? Like Outlook or something?

  8. thelucening

    January 7, 2014 at 8:50 am

    Holy cats. Unbelievable. The narcissism is just unstoppable! Glad you can lol- and celebrate that upcoming anniversary in a big way!

    • Sofia Leo

      January 7, 2014 at 11:09 am

      Unstoppable is a good description! His sense of entitlement is over the top. Glad to be gone from there!

  9. Aussa Lorens

    January 7, 2014 at 9:03 am

    WOW. This is just getting weird. 14 more days and its time to pop some champagne. I remember that feeling very well– I’m 21 days away from 2 years free 😉

    • Sofia Leo

      January 7, 2014 at 11:10 am

      Hurrah for Freedom Celebrations! 🙂

  10. Laura

    January 7, 2014 at 9:19 am

    This is creepy and I am glad he doesn’t know where you live. He is really grasping to try to get his hooks back into you, and it is setting off my warning bells. It is so desperate, and it shows a total lack of respect too. You have shown him by your actions (going no contact) that you do not want to hear from him, yet he still continues on doing what HE wants with no respect for what YOU so obviously want. You want him to go away, but he wants you to come back and be his narcissistic supply. He needs his ego fed (by having a person to berate and put down), and he’s going to do whatever it takes to get that back. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! Happy upcoming freedom anniversary!!

    • Sofia Leo

      January 7, 2014 at 11:13 am

      You would think he’d remember how stubborn I am – there’s no going back. Ever. He was always so stunned when I told him that I had no contact with my exes, always lecturing about how hurtful it was to totally cut off contact with old lovers, that adults can work things out and be friends. Of course, he also berated me whenever I would mention some event or incident concerning those exes because I needed to learn to get over it. Contradictions at every turn from him. You would think that he could handle a little totally unambiguous dialogue. “I don’t want to see you again,” or “it’s over. Leave me alone” seem pretty clear to me, but then again I’m not disordered. Let him stew – I have better things to do with my life!

  11. djmatticus

    January 7, 2014 at 9:49 am

    What the what? That’s crazy ridiculous. Definitely not worthy of a response. Delete, delete, delete, and get working on those new email addresses.

    • Sofia Leo

      January 7, 2014 at 11:14 am

      Working as we speak 🙂

      • djmatticus

        January 7, 2014 at 11:25 am


  12. pixiegirlkc52

    January 7, 2014 at 10:24 am

    haha! Sorry to laugh but wow. Just wow.

    • Sofia Leo

      January 7, 2014 at 11:15 am

      I know. It really is funny – the man is totally delusional. Typical narc – can’t accept anything but his own version of reality and when it bumps up against Actual Reality he just can’t cope. Also, he’s probably run out of money and prospects by now…

  13. behindthemaskofabuse

    January 7, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    I feel your pain my sister has turned up the heat. She’s now using my nephews to get to me. I did get out of it a chat with one nephew but that seemed to be an invitation to the sister to chat with me via text after. The questions she asked were a direct indicator that she listened to my whole conversation with my nephew. I ignored her attempts to chat. They just never stop. I was crying so hard after.

    • Sofia Leo

      January 7, 2014 at 8:07 pm

      So sorry it was especially hard for you. It really sucks that your narc is related by blood – at least I CAN get away from him.

      • behindthemaskofabuse

        January 7, 2014 at 8:25 pm

        Thanks Sofia sorry to lay that on you. I’m so glad you can get away from him!

      • Sofia Leo

        January 7, 2014 at 8:28 pm

        Hey! Don’t apologize! Misery shared is halved, or something like that. Selfishly, it makes me feel better about my own situation. If there’s anything I can do, just holler.

      • behindthemaskofabuse

        January 7, 2014 at 8:29 pm

        I really appreciate that thank you! I’ll probably be venting about it tomorrow in a post 😉

  14. Pippa Pirrip

    January 8, 2014 at 6:22 pm

    I, for one, laughed out loud! How bloody delusional can he be????

    • Sofia Leo

      January 9, 2014 at 9:59 am

      Off the scale, apparently! No contact for over six months and NOW he’s proposing? Like I left because I didn’t get a ring? Puhleeze!

  15. El Guapo

    January 10, 2014 at 12:39 pm

    Like you said, you’re almost a year out. And every day more is another glorious day for him to go fuck himself.

    • Sofia Leo

      January 11, 2014 at 9:04 am

      And I hope he is. With something sharp and painful 🙂

  16. Expat

    January 11, 2014 at 3:13 am

    I found the message hilarious! Especially the part where he claims he’s not crazy? Ha-ha, what a nutter! These narcs really live in their own fantasy land don’t they? Glad you are away from this nut ball!

    • Sofia Leo

      January 11, 2014 at 9:05 am

      I know, right? He’s “getting so much better” after all his counseling? Yeah……Has he decided that I left because I wanted a permanent commitment? What a loon!


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