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100% effective birth control

03 Sep

Every day I hear people lamenting the “problem with today’s kids.” Maybe it’s always been this way. Maybe the only reason we’re all so united in our displeasure about this state of affairs is because of our easy access to media in all its forms. I dunno. I did see something that gave me a clue as to one cause of the problem and I’d like to offer a small, simple solution for a very specific demographic.

The other day I made a trip to the local Wal-Mart (the Evil Empire when not in polite company) to purchase one very specific item.

It being 4:00 in the afternoon on a Friday before a three-day weekend, the store was packed with people stocking up for BBQ and game-day (it’s still Baseball Season, right?) activities. Many of them had children in tow because of the huge Back to School Sale.

I found my item and got in line behind a family of five (Mom, Dad and three children, the oldest about five) at the cash register. The kids were cranky and acting out, as young children will do. Mom is busy poking her salon nails at her phone while tossing back her fancy hair. Dad is fuming, trying to shush the kids.

“I told you I didn’t want kids! This is the reason! Every time we go out in public they act like this! I hate kids in stores!”

Without looking up from her phone, Mom says, “too late for that now, innit?” flashing her wedding band in front of his face.

Yeah. Hey, douchebag, your five-year-old understood exactly what you said right there and he will never forget it.

Sadly, I see and hear similar exchanges every week. It’s no wonder the “kids of today” are so fucked up when daddy makes remarks like that in public and mummy is so used to hearing it she doesn’t even pay attention. WTF is wrong with you people? Women who are going to ignore their children should not be giving birth, but that’s another blog post.

Here’s my message to Dudes Who Don’t Want Kids: there is one sure-fire, 100% effective way to ensure you don’t get a woman pregnant – keep your dick in your pants. It’s simple and easy to remember.

If a woman says that she really wants to start having kids and you don’t feel it’s in your Life Plan at the moment, that’s a good time to break up with her, dontcha think? I mean, give her a chance to find a man who really wants kids and who will be a Real Father to them, and find yourself a Party Girl to play with.

What’s that? Oh, right, you can’t pass up the free pussy, can you? Can’t be bothered to wear a condom, either? Yeah. I mean, you’re obviously a Studly Dude who has to dip his wick once a day and everyone knows “you can’t FEEL IT” through a condom. I can see that. Self denial (or self-help) is out of the question.

Maybe you should consider the consequences next time. At least that particular Dude is married to the mother of his children. For now.

And people still ask what’s wrong with this country…


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51 Comments

Posted by on September 3, 2013 in Emotional Abuse, Stuff that Pisses Me Off!

 

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51 responses to “100% effective birth control

  1. behindthemaskofabuse

    September 3, 2013 at 9:26 am

    I would have pissed too!

     
    • Sofia Leo

      September 3, 2013 at 3:08 pm

      I know, right? If parents don’t even want their kids, WTF do they think is gonna happen as those kids grow up? There will be no love or respect growing in those kids, just resentment and fear and anger and a bunch of people standing around years from now scratching their heads saying, “I just don’t understand the problem with today’s kids…” It’s so sad. And infuriating!

       
      • behindthemaskofabuse

        September 3, 2013 at 5:05 pm

        Sorry I meant to say I would have been pissed, how embarrassing! I’m sure you giggled. 😉 Yes they are raising potential narcissists. 😦 As someone who can’t have children, it’s even more angering. Sigh.

         
      • Sofia Leo

        September 4, 2013 at 9:38 am

        I understood what you meant 🙂 Every time I hear a couple lament that they can’t have kids, I want to steal some away from the assholes I see every day and give them to the couple who really wants them. It’s just not fair.

         
      • behindthemaskofabuse

        September 4, 2013 at 9:54 am

        I feel the same, I watch people all the time have kids they shouldn’t have or don’t want and then there’s us. Hubby is unable. We went through 3 rounds of IVF and lost 7 trying. Even in Hubby’s family his siblings are getting pregnant left right and center and they are bad situations. It’s sad.

         
  2. Just Me With . . .

    September 3, 2013 at 9:37 am

    I just said this yesterday — that I can’t stand shopping — not because of the whining, crying kids, but because of the way the parents respond — yelling, hitting, belittling, etc. I HATE IT! Now I shudder when I hear a kid cry because I know what’s coming . . .

    That was awful, what he said. Kids can hear.

    I have like a million kids. Sometimes you just have to stay home. Just stay the eff home.

     
    • Sofia Leo

      September 3, 2013 at 3:09 pm

      Staying home is my usual choice, too, but on this day I really needed to go out and I’d already exhausted my other options. Sigh. I feel so sorry for those kids – they’re gonna grow up to be assholes, narcissists, sociopaths and victims. They really don’t have a chance. Sigh.

       
      • Just Me With . . .

        September 4, 2013 at 9:29 am

        Actually I meant as a mother I often just stayed home and skipped a trip to the store or timed it so that my spouse or someone could stay with the kids. That’s not always possible, but it seemed like an option with this jerk couple. Kids can only “behave” but so long in stores. If, as a parent, if you can’t handle that without damaging your kids, then stay the eff home.

        Those kids are not valued, and what you heard was likely only the tip of the iceberg, sadly.

         
      • Sofia Leo

        September 4, 2013 at 9:49 am

        Me, too! It’s not like you don’t get a feel for your kids’ schedule (nap at 9:00, food at 11:00, another nap at 2:00, etc.) and plan your day around when they will be at their best, right? Or was that just me? I knew what time of day would be best for taking my young son out in public and I made sure to watch for the signs of a potential meltdown so I could get him food, or home, or whatever he needed, or I left him with someone if I absolutely HAD to go out at a certain time that would not work for him. In short, I paid attention to my kid and made public outings as pleasant as possible. Gaaaahhhhh! I gotta quit thinking about this or I’ll go crazy!

         
      • Just Me With . . .

        September 4, 2013 at 9:51 am

        I know, same. But it’s so upsetting.

         
  3. Melanie

    September 3, 2013 at 9:49 am

    I hope that father was lost in irrational frustration and not thinking correctly. What a horrible thing to say in front of your own kids. You’re right, he can’t take that back ever.

     
    • Sofia Leo

      September 3, 2013 at 3:14 pm

      Doesn’t matter what his reasons were. Doesn’t matter if he later apologizes. Doesn’t matter what he does, on some level that kid will remember it forever. The kids weren’t really being terrible, either, just a bit cranky, like Snack Time was late, not a Total Meltdown situation. Some people should be neutered…

       
      • Melanie

        September 3, 2013 at 4:56 pm

        You’re right. None of that matters. He should have kept his mouth shut.

         
      • Sofia Leo

        September 4, 2013 at 9:37 am

        Shoulda, coulda, woulda. People suck. They screw up their kids and then complain about how they turned out. It’s sad and infuriating, and there is no cure…

         
  4. Christina

    September 3, 2013 at 10:57 am

    oh FFS! shame on both of them! I hate people.

     
    • Sofia Leo

      September 3, 2013 at 3:15 pm

      People suck. I’m convinced of it. Individual persons can be fabulous, but people in general suck. People can be counted on to behave badly in pretty much any situation. Makes me ashamed to count myself among their kind.

       
  5. Shanique Roca (@Le_Willow_Wimp)

    September 3, 2013 at 2:53 pm

    Wow.. that’s wrong.

     
    • Sofia Leo

      September 3, 2013 at 3:16 pm

      Yup. Not at all uncommon, though. I should spend some time in Wal-Mart, documenting the horrible things I see every time I have to shop there. Nah…I’d probably end up shooting myself 🙂

       
  6. gem

    September 3, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    Sad but true, I have witnessed similar scenarios. I knew one girl who had a different father than her siblings and mom hated the girl’s dad and thus her because she was his spitting image. Mom would go as far as to take all but her to Disneyland, buy all but her new clothes for school… sad sad sad. But there is a happy ending with a loving foster mom later on.

     
    • Sofia Leo

      September 3, 2013 at 3:34 pm

      It’s refreshing to hear about a happy ending. The things we, as a people, do to each other is so sad.

       
  7. Twindaddy

    September 3, 2013 at 6:13 pm

    There are too many people having children who don’t know how to raise them….male and female.

     
    • Sofia Leo

      September 4, 2013 at 9:41 am

      You got that right. They don’t even think about raising the kids, they just want to HAVE them. I worked with a young woman who wanted kids so badly, but she wasn’t really able to tell me why. She had one daughter who had been taken away from her and a 7-month-old with a man who was not the father of the first child and did not want to commit to her with marriage when she found herself pregnant again because she “forgot to go to [her] 6-week check-up to get her birth control pill prescription refilled…” OMG!! Srsly?

       
      • Twindaddy

        September 4, 2013 at 9:47 am

        Ugh…I think you should be required to have a certain IQ before you can reproduce…

         
      • Sofia Leo

        September 4, 2013 at 9:53 am

        But…but…that’s discrimination! And who would decide what that IQ minimum is? Gasp! The Unwashed Masses would never agree…The right to procreate (and breed dogs and other animals indiscriminately) is Universal, right? Ya gotta do it because you can – it’s expected! Damn the consequences!

        If Common Sense were as common as it once was, we would not be in this mess, but that’s another blog post…

         
      • Twindaddy

        September 4, 2013 at 10:12 am

        I know. It is. But some people don’t take their jobs as parents seriously…and it’s sad.

         
      • Sofia Leo

        September 4, 2013 at 1:41 pm

        Too many people don’t take anything at all seriously. That’s the problem with the world today.

         
      • Twindaddy

        September 4, 2013 at 2:19 pm

        True enough.

         
  8. Louise

    September 3, 2013 at 6:38 pm

    First off – total agreement re: the kids/no kids relationship deal breaker. If you don’t see eye to eye on that one early on, cut losses and move on! Second, re: the father in the store – your kids remember everything you say. You can be angry. You can discipline them. But saying you don’t want them? You can’t take that back. Horrible.

     
    • Sofia Leo

      September 4, 2013 at 9:42 am

      It was horrible. That couple should not be parents, but there ya go – everyone has the right to procreate. Those kids will be fucked up for sure, and who will pay the price? Who is even paying attention?

       
  9. anewfreelife

    September 3, 2013 at 9:29 pm

    Oh, boy, this strikes a nerve with me. My own mother CONSTANTLY told me what a mistake I was, that she took one look at me the moment I was born and knew I was a bitch, how everything bad in her life was my fault, and it absolutely destroyed me. Both of my parents did things with and for my brother that neither ever considered doing for me, including big things like trips and basics like food and medical care. I was so screwed up from it all that I married a man who beat and choked me and my kids and said things in front of them like, “We’ve got too many kids.” At first, I was devastated that the father of my children would say that. Then, after years of it, I got pissed. One day I finally looked at him and asked, “Well, which one do you think we should send back? Which one or ones is it you think we shouldn’t have had?!” The cycle continued. Pain begets pain.

    I grew up longing for someone to take me away from my mother. Thank God for the foster mother mentioned in one of the comments above. These are always the types, too, who throw it back on their kids when the parents are old, trying to guilt the kids into helping them for “all they did for them.” Rotten excuse for human beings!

     
    • Sofia Leo

      September 4, 2013 at 9:44 am

      I’m so sorry you had to grow up with that kind of hate. You’re right – some wounds never heal. I just don’t understand how people can be so cruel. They would be the first to express outrage at someone mistreating a dog, yet they do worse to their own kids. It’s just so sad.

       
  10. Judi

    September 4, 2013 at 7:07 am

    WOOT WOOT…great rant. I support your ideas 100%!!!

     
  11. notyourvictim

    September 4, 2013 at 7:40 am

    You’re absolutely right. As a child of “those kind” of parents, you do remember every word. And so far, the hurt hasn’t gone away.

     
    • Sofia Leo

      September 4, 2013 at 9:45 am

      I’m so sorry. I wish there was a wand I could wave to take away the pain this post has obviously brought up for some of you.

       
      • notyourvictim

        September 5, 2013 at 5:27 am

        Oh no, it’s not pain anymore, just that nod and ironic grin kind of thing, probably about the same way you feel when you read about someone else having had a partner with NPD where you shake you head and think, “Damn that sucks, I know the feeling exactly.” At some point it’s just a part of who you are, like blond hair or having size 8 feet, no worries there. 🙂

         
  12. nataliedeyoung

    September 4, 2013 at 9:06 am

    Those poor kids. 😦

     
  13. Becca

    September 4, 2013 at 10:23 am

    I was one of these kids…
    I was born to young people who were NOT READY TO BE PARENTS. And in my opinion, should never have been parents. My bio dad bailed, mom married another loser. Every guy she’d parade through was a dirt bag and would talk badly to me because I “wasn’t his blood child.” I grew up being bitter and resentful, honestly. However, I am a self aware, and more importantly healing adult who is dealing with that. I never want to have kids simply because I have no urge and don’t think i’d be a good parent. I wish people had that much brains involved. These people are morons also because you can have plenty of sex without pro-creating.

     
    • Sofia Leo

      September 4, 2013 at 1:44 pm

      Glad to hear you’re aware of where your abusive past ends and YOU begin – that’s huge, and so many people don’t ever get there…

      I never wanted children. There, I said it. I wanted a career and an unhampered life. I didn’t even like kids when I was a kid, so why on earth would I have one? Well, enter the Psycho, and life spiraled out of my control and I found myself a single Mom. I wouldn’t change anything now, but it wasn’t my first choice at that time. Thank all that’s holy he turned out okay, despite the poor choices I made for us.

       
  14. Is Everyone an Idiot but Me?

    September 4, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    Haha you tell it like it is, i like it! I can’t stand parents who don’t want kids. I think it is irresponsible and cruel to have kids if you don’t want them.

     
    • Sofia Leo

      September 4, 2013 at 9:32 pm

      I know, right? Kids aren’t like a puppy you can give away when it’s no longer cute (I’m looking at my former MIL here) or a cat you can drop off in the woods (again with the sideways glance at the former MIL) Gaaaahhhhh!! Must get off this track!

      I tell it like it is now. No more holding back. I am pissed off and no longer afraid of what people think. Well, my Mom reads here, so there’s that. She rarely reads the comments, though. Or so she says…

       
      • Is Everyone an Idiot but Me?

        September 5, 2013 at 4:07 am

        Haha yeah you never know who that anonymous commenter is going to be… You are right though, having a kid is a huge commitment, one you can’t take back without doing some damage, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly

         
  15. Gina

    September 4, 2013 at 5:19 pm

    Unbelievable! Trash! I love your frankness. After the children are born is not the time for this discussion. I’m still apalled as I write this very lat word!

     
    • Sofia Leo

      September 4, 2013 at 9:33 pm

      Educating our young girls is the key, I think. They need to get into their silly heads that children are not something they need to go out and get as soon as they grow boobs and that boys lie – many of them won’t stay around. And. And. And. My mind is so muddled with this subject tonight after talking with a retired teacher earlier. The horror is everywhere!

       
  16. Resilient Heart

    September 4, 2013 at 7:15 pm

    Ah yes, verbal abuse at its finest. I really wish I had the wherewithal to say something in that moment to help move them toward healing. I always think of something later!

     
    • Sofia Leo

      September 4, 2013 at 9:35 pm

      I was so stunned I could only gape. I wasn’t sure I heard correctly (more Narc conditioning at work) and then I wasn’t sure I would be able to stop myself if I opened my mouth, so I said nothing. It sure got me thinking about the state of society and what my role will be in the near future.

       
      • Resilient Heart

        September 8, 2013 at 5:02 pm

        Thinking on it more I wish I would have the courage to say to the children something to the effect they’re priceless miracles in God’s eyes. I don’t know, this is a tough one!!

         
  17. outlawmama

    September 6, 2013 at 10:50 am

    I love your insights here and I love that you hate walmart and don’t know what sport season it is. LOVE!

     
    • Sofia Leo

      September 6, 2013 at 10:56 am

      Thank you 🙂

      Televised sports are nothing more than sanctioned violence (much like the Colosseum and blood sports in Ancient Rome) meant to keep the masses at home, too distracted by the latest Sports Idol scandal to pay attention to the atrocities being committed around the world every day. I mean, safe drinking water isn’t nearly as entertaining as the antics of Nevin Shapiro, right?

      I totally just Googled “latest sports scandals” to come up with a name because it means nothing to me 🙂

      Pointy-Ball Season starts soon, right?

       
  18. Nyssa

    October 5, 2013 at 10:20 pm

    This sort of thing bugs me, too. I am very sensitive to child abuse, which was the main reason why my ex-friends and I have become enemies. As I got closer to them, letting them stay in my house while homeless, I began to see the verbal and physical abuse. Most of what I saw came from the mother, but I eventually discovered that the father (my best friend at the time) was also abusive (as in, served probation 2011-2012 for choking one of the kids). They’d criticize how my husband and I parented our son, saying we’re spoiling him, he “rules the roost,” we need to spank harder and yell and scream at him more. Well, their kids were raised with yelling, screaming and beating, and yet they were little hellions! Meanwhile, whenever somebody complains on a blog or website about child abuse, they get at least one commenter saying, “Today’s kids are too spoiled. They need more whippings!” etc.

    You know what? I was part of the last generation raised while spanking and paddling was still universally acceptable. Some of us even got belted. Teachers could still paddle kids. And the older generations complained about US, too! We were the Gen-Xers, rebellious slackers, etc. etc.

    Meanwhile, my husband and I have tried but will probably never have more than one child, at this point.

     
    • Sofia Leo

      October 7, 2013 at 4:09 pm

      The line between discipline and abuse is so fuzzy for some people. I grew up in the age of paddling at school, too, but luckily my teachers were not abusive. Of course, every year my Mom signed the “permission to paddle” slip with an emphatic “NO!!!” so I was never in doubt that it would not be a punishment I would ever receive. Of course, if I’d ever committed a paddle-worthy offense, she assured me that I would be much more sorry if she had to do it than if my teacher had. Funny enough, the threat was more than enough to deter me from acting out at school. I had respect for her, and that, I think, made all the difference.

      Respect is what’s lacking these days – how can a kid respect parents who act like spoiled children themselves? But that’s a rant for another day…

      I wish that more kind, loving people like yourselves were able to have large happy families and the assholes who do nothing but scar their kids for life were sterile. If I ever become Queen of the Universe… 🙂

       

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