Every day I hear people lamenting the “problem with today’s kids.” Maybe it’s always been this way. Maybe the only reason we’re all so united in our displeasure about this state of affairs is because of our easy access to media in all its forms. I dunno. I did see something that gave me a clue as to one cause of the problem and I’d like to offer a small, simple solution for a very specific demographic.
The other day I made a trip to the local Wal-Mart (the Evil Empire when not in polite company) to purchase one very specific item.
It being 4:00 in the afternoon on a Friday before a three-day weekend, the store was packed with people stocking up for BBQ and game-day (it’s still Baseball Season, right?) activities. Many of them had children in tow because of the huge Back to School Sale.
I found my item and got in line behind a family of five (Mom, Dad and three children, the oldest about five) at the cash register. The kids were cranky and acting out, as young children will do. Mom is busy poking her salon nails at her phone while tossing back her fancy hair. Dad is fuming, trying to shush the kids.
“I told you I didn’t want kids! This is the reason! Every time we go out in public they act like this! I hate kids in stores!”
Without looking up from her phone, Mom says, “too late for that now, innit?” flashing her wedding band in front of his face.
Yeah. Hey, douchebag, your five-year-old understood exactly what you said right there and he will never forget it.
Sadly, I see and hear similar exchanges every week. It’s no wonder the “kids of today” are so fucked up when daddy makes remarks like that in public and mummy is so used to hearing it she doesn’t even pay attention. WTF is wrong with you people? Women who are going to ignore their children should not be giving birth, but that’s another blog post.
Here’s my message to Dudes Who Don’t Want Kids: there is one sure-fire, 100% effective way to ensure you don’t get a woman pregnant – keep your dick in your pants. It’s simple and easy to remember.
If a woman says that she really wants to start having kids and you don’t feel it’s in your Life Plan at the moment, that’s a good time to break up with her, dontcha think? I mean, give her a chance to find a man who really wants kids and who will be a Real Father to them, and find yourself a Party Girl to play with.
What’s that? Oh, right, you can’t pass up the free pussy, can you? Can’t be bothered to wear a condom, either? Yeah. I mean, you’re obviously a Studly Dude who has to dip his wick once a day and everyone knows “you can’t FEEL IT” through a condom. I can see that. Self denial (or self-help) is out of the question.
Maybe you should consider the consequences next time. At least that particular Dude is married to the mother of his children. For now.
And people still ask what’s wrong with this country…