Starting Over

23 Jul

Thank you all so much for your advice about whether or not I should unmask and continue with my other blogs. The, “what the hell are you thinking?” from Mom was the final decider πŸ™‚

Yes, I really would like to give the Narc the finger by posting to my old blogs about all the fabulous stuff that’s going on right now, but as Awana pointed out, I’m not that far away from him (physically speaking) and he could cause all sorts of problems for me if he chose to. I confess I hadn’t even considered that he could sue me for slander – he’s just the kind of asshole to do it, too!

Revenge is not something I will be able to get, so the next best thing is to start from here, moving forward on my own terms. I don’t know if I mentioned it before, but the Narc gave me the ideas for my blog and email names and up ’til now I’ve been happy to keep them. Time to fuse my online identity with the name I chose, Sofia Leo, dropping what doesn’t work and improving what’s already there. How this will affect people who know me IRL is uncertain.

So. I will be saving some “best of” posts from my fiber blog and posting them to my brand-new WP blog – Starting Over Designs where you will be able to read all about the Fiber Stuff, gardening, food preserving, anachronistic weird shit I get up to and other domestic arts as my interest ebbs and flows. I may or may not just delete the “old” blog so the Narc won’t even be able to see the archives.

I write and sell knitting patterns, so they will all have to be re-written, which gives me a great opportunity to fix some minor things here and there and change fonts and such. New cards will have to be ordered and accounts set up on the ‘net to take the place of the now obsolete identities. The sheer volume of work has me a little freaked out, but how often do we get the chance to totally re-invent ourselves in the image we would have created in the first place if only we had known? I plan to start a business ASAP and start treating my “little hobby” as a sideline with the potential to go Full Time now that no one is around to tell me I can’t or that I’m wasting my time.

I have one other blog that I really want to preserve because it took hours and hours to compile some pretty Good Stuff and I want to continue the projects and stories from there but I’m not sure how to go about it – starting over in the middle of things doesn’t make sense. I compiled a really nice source list for free fiddle tunes on the ‘net that gets about 50 hits a day. Sure, I could just leave it there, but I want to start a new blog here on WP and it’s a nice resource for newbies to have. What do you think about that?

Here we go – Day One of a new adventure!



Posted by on July 23, 2013 in Digging Out



20 responses to “Starting Over

  1. prog4

    July 23, 2013 at 2:31 pm

    A wise person recently said to me something like “The best revenge is to live a happy/fun life” and there is much truth in that I believe.

    • Sofia Leo

      July 23, 2013 at 2:48 pm

      And I think they’re right. I can’t let the Narc destroy my love of all things fiber because I know he’ll be watching my every move. Best to do it elsewhere under the cover of a pen name and have even more fun πŸ™‚

  2. behindthemaskofabuse

    July 23, 2013 at 2:34 pm

    You’re on a role!!! I wish you all the success in the world!! xo

  3. JackieP

    July 23, 2013 at 2:34 pm

    I think you are on the right track. Do what you think is best for you, because in the end (now) you are the only one you need to please. No matter what you do, I will always be around to cheer you on. πŸ™‚

    • Sofia Leo

      July 23, 2013 at 2:49 pm

      Thank you for being there in my corner πŸ™‚

  4. carlisdm

    July 23, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    I think itΒ΄s excellent! and like you said, how many chances do we have to re-invent ourselves?
    I think itΒ΄s a good opportunity an I look forward to read more from this project of yours!

    • Sofia Leo

      July 23, 2013 at 2:49 pm

      Looking at the other blog, maybe there’s not much I want to keep. Better to start fresh with new projects…

  5. twindaddy

    July 23, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    I’m confused. Is this blog going away? I’m lost…

    • Sofia Leo

      July 23, 2013 at 3:09 pm

      Sorry for the confusion, Twindaddy. No, this blog is not going away. In my Physical Life I have many interests that I don’t discuss here and have blogged about them on five blogs, the oldest started in 2002. Those blogs have some Good Stuff on them and I want to continue with those parts of my life (the Fiber, the Fiddles, etc.) but those subjects don’t really fit here. I want to take my Fiber Business to the next level and see if I can actually make a living at it, and to do that I need an online shop and blog, presence in online communities, etc. but everything is connected to the “old” blogs and my former identity. I have become Sofia Leo and want all of my ventures from here forward to reflect my new Self. To make all of this happen, I need to reinvent my blog presence and re-brand myself in a way that the Narc will never be able to follow me. Maybe I’ve just confused you more…

      • twindaddy

        July 23, 2013 at 3:20 pm

        Lol…I’ll get it one day…

  6. Sex, Spirit, Soul Mates and Chocolate....Ivonne's Journey

    July 23, 2013 at 5:37 pm

    Just so you know in terms of libel or slander, that applies if you are lying about someone. Telling the truth is not libel or slander. The burden of proof lies upon the person making the claim that they are being slandered. Also, at least in the state of California they also have to prove that said libel or slander resulted in a loss of income. Aslo in the state of California (not sure where you are at) there is a thing called, “rape by fraud”–you should google that.

    • Sofia Leo

      July 24, 2013 at 8:20 am

      Ah, but you’re forgetting that Truth for a Narc is whatever he believes in that moment and they are capable of making everyone around them believe it, too. I don’t believe I’ve slandered him or caused a loss of income, but just going to court to have it laughed out again would cost time and money, not to mention the ripping off of the scabs formed over the holes he blasted into my heart and soul. I’m just not interested in re-living any of his crap or defending myself (once again) against his attacks. Rape by fraud, indeed! OMG I could write a dozen posts about that alone πŸ™‚

  7. Lynette d'Arty-Cross

    July 24, 2013 at 1:07 pm

    Congratulations! πŸ™‚

  8. Goddess

    July 25, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    Been a long time. Glad to see you so happy and doing well. Gives me a lot of hope for my own situation. Take care!

    • Sofia Leo

      July 25, 2013 at 2:45 pm

      Where ya been? Finding peace, I see. Best of luck to you – go out and be fabulous! πŸ™‚

  9. Nyssa

    October 1, 2013 at 11:57 pm

    My narcs threatened to sue me for defamation when they found my blog. I couldn’t figure out what they considered defaming, because they didn’t say. All I know is I told the truth: what I witnessed, what happened, what I was told by involved parties, what was in the newspaper about their choking incident. No lying. And after nearly a year and a half (!) since their threat, nothing has come of it–except for them checking up on my blog periodically.

    • Sofia Leo

      October 2, 2013 at 10:28 am

      Maybe it was just another attempt to control you? To make you back down on something you believe in just because they can? What a bunch of assholes!

  10. Nyssa

    October 2, 2013 at 5:31 pm

    Probably. Maybe they thought they could intimidate me into shutting my mouth. Something they had tried before; they got upset whenever I told my husband what was going on, and during a narcissistic rage told me not to tell him about it….But it didn’t work.

    • Sofia Leo

      October 2, 2013 at 8:41 pm

      Secrecy is the only way they can keep their power…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: