It’s time to get packed for yet another weekend away from Towanda. Now that the Narc is out of the picture, Sabu and I have become quite the Social Butterflies! Knitting pictures over on Travels with Towanda.
I just discovered that Sabu will chase the red laser light. OMG! I’m laughing so hard right now!
Anyway. Tomorrow (Saturday) marks 6 months away from the Narc! I thought it would feel more momentous, but I simply don’t have time to dwell on it any more. I certainly don’t feel sad, or like I made a mistake or am missing out on something. I feel pretty darned happy, actually. All.the.time. Happy, happy, happy. It’s amazing and wonderful and humbling in a way.
I look back and can’t quite believe that was my life. I will continue with the Narc…and posts because I want people to understand what it’s like to live with that kind of constant stress. I want people to be able to recognize a monster when they see one, to get out much sooner than I did, to understand that no one has to live that way – we all deserve so much better!
I also feel pretty strongly that I need to unmask, share my real identity with my readers here. I have a whole Other Life and it’s starting to overlap here. It’s confusing to talk to people who know me IRL, because I’m not sure what stories I’ve told and what they know about me. There are very few people who know me IRL and who read here, everyone else is out of one loop or the other and I’m having trouble keeping track 🙂
Of course, if I reveal my identity here, it means unmasking the Narc as well. It means putting up a post on my other blogs explaining my long absence and the Narc has those blogs in his live feed so he will know when I post. If I link from there to here it means the Narc will follow and know what I did, when I planned everything and how I live now. I just don’t know how to approach the subject.
What say you?
July 19, 2013 at 9:58 pm
Why do you have to link to the other blogs? Do you even maintain the other blogs?
July 21, 2013 at 8:43 pm
I have not posted on the other blogs since January, but they are very much a part of who I am that I want to continue to share online.
July 19, 2013 at 10:49 pm
I keep my identity – I use my grandmother’s name – and location private because I want to minimize any chance he might find my blog. He would never recognize this name as he didn’t ever bother to learn anything about my family – typical narcissist. I don’t want to run the risk that he might try to sue me. He would never win – everything I have written is true – but he could make life difficult and could cost me much more money in lawyer’s fees, and I’ve already spent way too much money on him!
I would advise caution – perhaps you should just give up the other blogs.
July 21, 2013 at 8:44 pm
You have a point about being sued. I hadn’t thought of that, but he would be the kind of person to sue me.
July 19, 2013 at 11:27 pm
Ooooh, I’m with Lynette. I, too, advise caution. My concern is the Narc will be enraged and pull something. I love that you are happy, and I want to see you stay that way.
July 20, 2013 at 12:36 am
I’ve been away from TheEx for almost 7 years, I still won’t use my name online– even now that I’ve changed my name to one he wouldn’t know! But anonymity is important to me in that if someone I knew read my blog and I knew about it, I’d feel guilty about whining and feel like I couldn’t say anything negative or judgemental about them or anyone we mutually knew. That’s my cross to bear, I suppose.
Also, keep in mind that these sociopaths obsess. He will obsess over you until he finds his next victim, so he will be looking, and if he finds this blog, he’ll use it as “proof” of your cruelty, instability and whatever else so that he can get pity and attention at your expense. Consider it.
Also: Happy 6 Months!!!!
July 21, 2013 at 8:45 pm
Thank you. I totally see your point. If he’s obsessing I haven’t seen any signs of it, but you’re right – he could start to harass me at any time.
July 20, 2013 at 1:21 am
Sorry–red alert! I would not unmask. You don’t know what trouble he will cause…he may have friends who will give him “ideas”…well, male cohorts, anyway….the future is not here yet for that,I think. My husband would not have been so bad to me if he didn’t have other men backing him and telling him what to do as he didn’t have the brains or the guts to go it alone. And men do not like to be slandered–they can’t handle it AT ALL, the little Chuckies.
July 21, 2013 at 8:46 pm
You’re right. Again! 🙂
July 20, 2013 at 2:33 pm
As much as I’d love to know the real you and the real M there’s no point running the risks.
July 21, 2013 at 8:46 pm
I’ve decided not to run the risk. Post later. How have you been?
July 20, 2013 at 4:03 pm
What about a whole new blog with your whole new life as well as the others?
July 21, 2013 at 8:47 pm
Yep. That’s what I’m gonna do – reinvent myself online as Sofia Leo, new blogs, new website, even an official business. I’ve even got a name – Starting Over Designs. Post to follow soon…
July 22, 2013 at 8:56 am
Wow i’m excited for you!
July 20, 2013 at 4:09 pm
What the others are saying is good advise too. Please be careful!
Just Me With . . .
July 23, 2013 at 2:45 pm
It’s a topic I think about often. I cannot reference my blog to anyone because of professional and personal (narc) reasons. That said, that made it impossible for me to share what I do. I couldn’t even tell anyone in real life when I got first place in a writing contest because my identify was linked to my blog. I guess I’ll have to start a new one and not link and not discuss personal matters but it’s exhausting to even think about it. I’ve read your subsequent post and I wish you well. I hope you still maintain this one to discuss the personal matters as your journey is very important.
July 23, 2013 at 3:14 pm
How awful that you couldn’t brag about the writing contest! It sucks, doesn’t it? The abusers ruin your life and you have to give up every damned thing in order to get away while they go on merrily destroying even more lives. It’s just not fair! I feel like I’ve divided myself up, chronicling all the Narc Crap here but letting everything else languish because I didn’t want to give away my location or this blog. The time has come to knit together my two halves and become Sofia Leo IRL. I will be keeping this blog active as the Personal Journey Stuff is not relevant to the Fiber Stuff. I doubt I will cross post from there to here, but I will cross post from here to there. It feels like a monumental task, but maybe that’s just because I haven’t gotten started yet 🙂
July 24, 2013 at 7:21 am
Six months! Congratulations to you.