After the post the other day, I’ve been thinking a lot about my reactions to M and what I should be doing about it. I’ve been away from him for long enough that I should be in a better place.
Yep. That’s it in a nutshell. I especially like her list of what “discussion” (instead of flushing) means”
- I’ve personalized your actions and so I want to discuss this so I can find out what I did wrong.
- Let’s negotiate.
- I wanna fix you.
- I’m used to toxic atmospheres. You pulling this rinky-dink bullshit on me feels like home. We now need to have this discussion so I can go through my drama cycle, get some validation and lather , rinse, repeat.
- I want you to explain this to me and make me feel better about it so that I can go back to deluding myself about you.
- I’m still in this.
- I’m not going to take decisive action.
- I’m teeeeeeeeelllllllllling you…. I’m not going…. You’re the best thing I’ve ever known…. And you, and you, and you, you’re gonna love meeeeeeeee.
OMG. It’s like she’s reading my mind or something. I’ve printed this list out so I can review it whenever I have to deal with M, just a friendly reminder that I should not be talking to him at all, my hand moving towards the flusher…