The Latest Narc Crap

25 Apr

Last week he said that he wanted Thursdays to be “our day.” He wants me to come out there and take care of the bunnies and he will cook me a meal and we can work on getting back to the good stuff that he wants me to believe we had in the beginning. Thing is, we never had Good Times. It was all a lie. I see through his mask and I remember how it really was and I’m not going back there ever again.

So he sends me an e-mail asking if I’ll be paying his cell phone bill this month. I replied that I would be paying it in return for his caring for the rabbits, as we agreed – very business-like. And then he sent this:

I was thinking I could BBQ a burger for you or a sausage, or maybe both. You have to eat sometime! It could be early or late. If you’d like to do that and I know about what time you’d be there, I could have it ready as soon as you’d looked at the bunnies so it wouldn’t take a bunch of extra time.

We’ve just begun on the food you got, there is still a pile of old shavings. They have started eating hay, which they didn’t all winter. I’m giving them the long stalks of bolted kale, which they love. I don’t think there is anything needed right now but some of your special attention.

Apparently Larry bought three new guitars (of course they are very valuable and collectable) so he bought Pat one too, I imagine as a panacea. She had time to tell me she was learning to play and had trouble with the size of the fretboard and then Larry took over. Twice in our conversation she tried to interject something and he pretty much told her to shut up, he was talking.

I just stopped at Wallyworld to pick up prescriptions and they have bags of composted manure for $1.38. I think 20 bags should do for this year. Are you interested? If so, I’d like some help loading, unloading and spreading. The garden is ready to plant otherwise. 

Uh-huh. So the rabbits are fine, he wants to cook for me, he saw a couple that we’ve met a few times (more on that in a minute – it will relate) and he wants me to commit to working on the garden this year. Got it.

I didn’t respond because I have too much on my plate right now to care about his plans and I just couldn’t be arsed to muster the energy. I figured I would call when I was on the way, blast in and out again and that would be that. You know a Narc can’t let anything get out of his control, so he called last night and I picked up so I could tell him I would not be coming out today. Or any time in the near future πŸ™‚

I told him that I had heard from The Boss and he wanted me to work a miracle (my specialty, actually) and that there was more on the way from The Other Boss and I would be booked for at least another week. He pretended to be happy for me that I have some work. Made all the appropriate noises and then veered off into his favorite subject – himself.

Blah, blah, blah about last weekend’s boat show, blah, blah, blah. Gave examples of how he could have “taken control” of situations but he stood back and let the people involved fuck up and blah, blah, blah, hasn’t he grown? Yeeeaaaahhhh.

Then he went on to describe (I was sitting at the computer drawing as quietly as I could because he hates to be ignored. I need to getΒ  headset) seeing Larry and Pat and how Larry is a Piece of Work and blah, blah, blah. He then asked me if he behaved the same way as Larry (a Narc for sure, likely a Socio as well. He has (figuratively) beaten Pat down so far that it radiates off her in waves and I saw it clearly before I left M.)

My reply? “Not in public.” Long silence on the other end.

He asked me why I never pointed it out to him (!!!) and that he really regrets that I see our relationship that way. He’s a changed man, now, and wouldn’t dream of treating me that way, blah, blah, blah. By this time I was getting bored and, message delivered, was not concerned with what he thinks.

I gave him the truth about Larry and Pat’s relationship (I’ve spoken to her alone, he has not. I am confident that I have a clear picture of what her life is like and it’s an ugly one, painted in shades of gray and despair) and then I told him that he treated me the same way.

That hurt, so he changed the subject and asked me to compare him to the men we both know that are real assholes. Yep, that was edifying for him. I gave examples of how he does the very same things that he claims to dislike about them. On and on. God, I was a bitch.

He tried another tactic, questioning me about TB and TOB and the work they sent over and asking how far down on my list he is. I told him that spending time with him was much less valuable than the $30 per hour they were paying me and that I would let him know when there was room on my list of Important Things To Do πŸ™‚

Blah, blah, blah, whining, more blah, blah.

I toldΒ  him that making money in my career field is the most important thing in my life right now and that I can’t even consider turning it down.

“You could always tell someone ‘no’,” he whined.

“I’m telling you no,” I replied.

Oh, he did not like that one bit. Too fucking bad, though, that’s the way things are. I did not tell him that I will be moving Towanda over to the Valley ASAP. He doesn’t know about Towanda and he won’t hear about it from me. I will be good and gone and come back for the rabbits and we will be officially OVER.

His last words to me were about how he wants to hold my naked body some time real soon. Couldn’t have a conversation without reminding me of my Primary Duty. Asshole.


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21 responses to “The Latest Narc Crap

  1. positivagirl

    April 25, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    But….. did you go over for your burger and your sausage? πŸ™‚

    • Sofia Leo

      April 25, 2013 at 7:37 pm

      Nope. No time πŸ™‚ And actually, I don’t have to eat with him “sometime” or any time at all πŸ™‚

  2. behindthemaskofabuse

    April 25, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    Wow! All I can think is how dare he!

    • Sofia Leo

      April 25, 2013 at 7:37 pm

      You don’t understand. He is the King of the Universe. His word is law. How dare I deny his every wish. Putz.

      • behindthemaskofabuse

        April 25, 2013 at 7:42 pm

        Oh I do, the father was that way too, ha, total Putz’…they don’t understand that we are on to them…lol

      • Sofia Leo

        April 25, 2013 at 8:29 pm

        Of course not! How could anyone with their normal brains possibly see through his mask? He is WAY too brilliant for that πŸ™‚

      • behindthemaskofabuse

        April 25, 2013 at 10:08 pm

        ahaha! so brilliant he doesn’t see…lol

      • Sofia Leo

        April 27, 2013 at 7:55 pm


  3. JackieP

    April 25, 2013 at 9:37 pm

    once a narc always a narc. doesn’t it get boring?? oh yeah it does. πŸ™‚

  4. Awana

    April 26, 2013 at 1:37 am

    Sadly, I feel the bottom line from all I have gathered is the not listening thing. The total inability to get outside the self and have empathy towards another human, no matter the relationship.And I can’t understand the obcession with sausages and ground meat—surely there are more grand gestures to offer his “beloved”–bleh.That’s what HE wants. Boring. and BTW–EW,EW,EW.

    • Sofia Leo

      April 27, 2013 at 8:01 pm

      Yeah, you have just perfectly described a Narc πŸ™‚

      I like a good burger or sausage, but only a few times a year, one of which has always been the first nice Spring day off so we could use the BBQ outside. He’s trying to keep old traditions alive. What he doesn’t realize is that I’m making new traditions and could care less about “ours.” At least he didn’t offer curry. Or kale πŸ™‚

  5. Lee

    April 26, 2013 at 6:25 am

    It was worth reading that whole depressing conversation just to hear that you’ll finally be getting the bunnies out of there! πŸ˜›

    • Jenny

      April 26, 2013 at 10:40 pm

      I think the sausage was still attached to M LOL, he still wants sex….OMG he needs to have a date with Rosy Palm and her 5 sisters…what a sicko!!! I will be so glad when you have no contact with him…there is no brain between his ears!! So glad you can see thru all his crap!!

      • Sofia Leo

        April 27, 2013 at 8:03 pm

        LOL! Oh, yes, he still thinks he’s gonna get some. I remain a penis-free zone πŸ™‚

    • Sofia Leo

      April 27, 2013 at 8:02 pm

      I know…Sigh. It hasn’t been easy. They are high-maintenance animals and I won’t trust them to just anyone, even if they are old.

  6. Not Quite Alice

    April 27, 2013 at 2:28 pm

    Woohoo! No is awesome, but the hardest thing to say. I’m so happy for you hun. Yay. I love how strong you have become. It’s amazing and you are inspiring.

    • Sofia Leo

      April 27, 2013 at 8:05 pm

      Thank you for your kind words. Saying no gets easier each time.

  7. Jenny

    April 28, 2013 at 8:21 am

    My kids HATE it when I say ” What part of NO don’t you understand?” LOL


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