26 Mar

M said that he wants to take me out to dinner on my birthday next week. I did not commit, told him to shoot me an e-mail and forgot about it by the time I got home.

Awana came over to watch a movie and drink adult beverages and wanted all the dirt on what had happened with M. When I told her he wanted to take me out to dinner her reply was priceless:

“He wants to what? That’s dating! WTF are you thinking?!?” She actually said double-u, tee, eff, which was awesome! She also said that she hopes someday soon there won’t be any room in our conversation (or our lives) for Narcs and all their bullshit.

She’s right. I was thinking of a free meal where I would drop the bombshell that not only was I not going to waste my Summer taking care of his shit, I wasn’t coming back, either. Ever. I kinda had it staged in my mind and was working on some clever quips, reminding myself to get some cash so I could pay for my own meal if things went sour as they are bound to do.

Her words stopped me in my mental tracks. WTF am I doing?

Last year my birthday was so devastating that it still hurts to recall and I’m entertaining the thought of giving in to his request for a meal together? Sorry, I lost my mind for a minute there.

New game plan. The bunnies have food enough for a few weeks and won’t need any grooming for at least a couple of weeks, long after my birthday at any rate, so I have no reason to communicate with M at all. He has not sent any notes and if this next battle goes as I think it will, he won’t. He will wait for me to send him an e-mail, detailing where I want to eat and setting a time – that way he can claim that I wanted to see him, not the other way around.

When said e-mail fails to arrive in his inbox, he will wait until the evening of my birthday and then either call or send an e-mail saying how hurt he is that I backed out of a “promise” yet again and how pitiful he feels, blah, blah, blah, whatever. My Special Day will be all about him and he will expect an apology for my “bad behavior.” Ain’t gonna happen. Radio Silence will be maintained where M is concerned until further notice.

Now, I gotta get some sleep – an old friend is in town and she wants to meet tomorrow for tea. On Thursday my Mom will be here and she wants to see Towanda and go out for lunch so I better get this place into something like organized shape before then.

Congrats to FranticHippie of the comments for being Narc free for almost two weeks! Life only gets better from here 🙂


Posted by on March 26, 2013 in Emotional Abuse, Narcissist


Tags: ,

16 responses to “Monday

  1. frantichippie

    March 26, 2013 at 10:29 pm

    Yes! Glad Awana was there to help you rethink your birthday plans. Screw him. All my birthdays sucked too the last few years. But mine comes first each year, so whatever I got for my birthday, I made sure he got for his. Was usually not a damn thing and a lot of complaining 🙂

    Thanks Sofia! I haven’t heard a peep out of mine since Sunday evening when he left here. HIs calls/texts are blocked on my phone and I hope he’s finally going to leave me alone. We’ll see, I’m not convinced.

    • Sofia Leo

      March 27, 2013 at 11:07 pm

      Awana is a gem, no doubt. After she left she was worried that she’d been too hard on me, that maybe I would be resentful, but I quickly disabused her of that notion – sometimes ya gotta be hit over the head with the Obvious Stick in order to avoid a really stupid mistake.

      It looks like I will be spending my b-day starting a new business venture. More on that another day 🙂

  2. freefromthenarc

    March 27, 2013 at 4:17 am

    Can I just say that you deserve a MUCH better birthday than what this narc can deliver! Don’t do it to yourself, you know better and be confident about that. Well done and keep moving forward 🙂

  3. Lee

    March 27, 2013 at 7:10 am

    That’s what friends are for: to keep us from doing Really Stupid Things. 😛

    • Sofia Leo

      March 27, 2013 at 11:17 pm

      Thank god for good friends 🙂

      • Jenny

        March 28, 2013 at 11:27 am

        I have a best friend who is a sister to me since we were 11 yrs old, she has gotten me thu every shitty thing that has happened in my life and seen me get free and be happy again, I love her dearly!!

  4. Jenny

    March 27, 2013 at 8:26 am

    Glad Awana zapped you back to reality with the WTF….I would have said it too!!! This Birthday you need to do something special for YOU and M is not in the plans….guy is so clueless but he’ll finally get it when you totally stop talking to him and trying to reason with him is wasting your precious time to doing something you enjoy.

  5. Janine

    March 27, 2013 at 8:53 am

    This is why you need to cut him off completely. The fog slips in quickly and quietly, next thing you know you are agreeing to things you will regret later. Enjoy your birthday by keeping it narc-free!

  6. behindthemaskofabuse

    March 27, 2013 at 9:46 am

    You have a great friend there with a great perspective! Silence is the best revenge with these narcissists!! Enjoy your narcissist free Birthday!

  7. anewfreelife

    March 27, 2013 at 9:57 am

    Good job, Awana! A true friend! 🙂

  8. Jenny

    March 27, 2013 at 9:59 am

    I can just picture Awana thunking you on the forehead like a V8 commercial saying ” What were you thinking?!!”

  9. Jenny

    March 27, 2013 at 10:17 am

    You know I never knew what a Narcissist was till I read Sofias notes and read Life Code by Dr. Phil…I was clueless and oddly enough I found some paperwork by a councilor that stated my X and his wife are both Narcissistic people …AND my X was a very angry man who puts blame on everyone else!! So glad I have my blinders off now because my kids have become just like them!! I have gotten to the point I do not talk or see them and the asshole step-Mom has been lieing to them for years but Karma will get her some day. She’s just jealous that SHE is the one putting up with the controlling nasty hubby and I am free and have a better husband now and have a much better life! So gla I got free!!

  10. Awana

    March 27, 2013 at 1:03 pm

    …must have been the botanical talking, but I just couldn’t believe it! I am still trying to wash off the “conjugal visit” thing…even if the man is losing it, this day and time, no woman needs to be a nursemaid for free; especially if they are not treated well. I don’t mean to tell anyone what to do, but it is still playing a game and a game is not real life…there–I said it. Now, let’s have toast with the Countess at a tuppence a slice and do our part for the empire–the empire of Paradise Found!!!!

  11. woundedphoenix

    March 27, 2013 at 8:24 pm

    I have nominated you for a Liebster Award.

    Well done for seeing the situation for what it is. Proud of you!


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