Day After Fall-Out

15 Feb

Last night I turned my phone off at 8:00 after talking with Mom for awhile. I turned off the computer, too, and spent the evening spinning and cleaning.

This morning there were two voicemail messages on my phone, the first from last night, “Happy Valentine’s Day…” said with much crying in his voice.

The second from 8:00 AM, “If you’re so happy being single, maybe you should come over and get the rest of your things.”

And then I opened my e-mail to find this from last night, “Please call me…Please, please please call me. I love you so much it hurts.”

And again at 8:00 AM. The subject line says “Token” –

If you chose to ignore my best efforts at demonstrating my love, affection and devotion and instead post for the world to see a silhouette of a man poised to shoot cupid, you have shown me the greatest contempt. If you truly hate me, why don’t you say so.

If you should chose to respond, I will not be able to answer, since I am working with Brandon again today. Unless you want to call me on my cell phone, in which case I will take the time to talk. The way you chose to deal with adverse situations has been difficult for me for all the years I’ve known you and the basis of all my frustrations and tirades. Do you want to improve our situation or not?

Hello, Mr. Hyde!

More later – Awana and I are off to walk the dog.


Posted by on February 15, 2013 in Emotional Abuse, Gaslighting, Narcissist


Tags: , ,

26 responses to “Day After Fall-Out

  1. merbear74

    February 15, 2013 at 8:43 am

    Knew he would come back eventually. Stand your ground!

  2. JackieP

    February 15, 2013 at 8:58 am

    Now there is the narc you know and dislike! Knew he would come out when you ignore him for a bit. So very predictable. Just shows how right we all are (you too!) that he won’t change. I notice it’s all YOUR fault again. You are so right to get out of that toxic relationship. I have so enjoyed watching you become more and more free and happy! big hugs!

    • Lee

      February 15, 2013 at 9:27 am

      A great big second on everything JackieP says!

    • Sofia Leo

      February 15, 2013 at 10:52 am

      Mr. Hyde is back in the building! It’s so sad that his reactions are textbook Narc – not one thing original or different, which just goes to show that my (and your) original diagnosis of NPD is spot on! Very interesting that it’s the middle of the month, too 🙂

      • JackieP

        February 15, 2013 at 12:33 pm

        huh I didn’t think about it being the middle of the month. Good call on our part right? haha! Stay strong! hugs!

      • Sofia Leo

        February 15, 2013 at 6:29 pm

        Right on the money!

  3. lookingforward2012

    February 15, 2013 at 9:09 am

    Ah, how I wish I could blame all of my actions and reactions on everyone else.

    • Sofia Leo

      February 15, 2013 at 11:12 am

      I know, right? Like you are such a weak person that only external things affect your behavior, you have no control over your actions. Ever. You are a puppet being manipulated by unseen strings with no free will at all. Bullshit!

  4. Lee

    February 15, 2013 at 9:28 am

    Just a concern: if he comes to the conclusion that you “hate him” and there’s no hope of your coming back to him, he might decide to damage or dispose of your remaining belongings.

    • Sofia Leo

      February 15, 2013 at 11:13 am

      I hear ya. There are a few things that might bother me to lose (or that I could make some cash selling) and I’m going to drive over there in a minute and fill up my car.

  5. Melanie

    February 15, 2013 at 9:34 am

    Is there anything left that you can’t leave? The rabbits? Are they still there? He’s only going to get angrier and that final blow-out will happen, and you don’t know how far he’ll take it since he figures he doesn’t have anything to lose now.

    • Sofia Leo

      February 15, 2013 at 11:14 am

      I’ve been advertising for a new home for the rabbits. If he insists that they must go Right Now, I can make a temporary home for them here in Towanda until some other opportunity opens up. It will be a pain, but I’ll do what I have to do.

  6. El Guapo

    February 15, 2013 at 9:48 am

    To be fair, sounds like you’ve done a lot to improve your situation.
    Hope you’re closer to getting your stuff out of there.

  7. Bethany

    February 15, 2013 at 9:55 am

    Here we go! I agree with everyone else before me who is saying that this is the pre-blowout time. He will realize it is over and then he will get angry…You will be fine but you need to be careful. If there is something there that you can’t live without then you need to get it quickly before he decides to get rid of it himself (to show you how much you have hurt him).

    • Lee

      February 15, 2013 at 10:26 am

      I agree with Bethany. I’m most concerned about the bunnies. It’s tempting to think, “He would never do anything to them.” But harming or neglecting the victim’s pets is a very common way for abusers to punish, control, and hurt their victims when they can’t get at the victim directly.

    • Sofia Leo

      February 15, 2013 at 11:16 am

      I think he’s already angry. Just one more way he proves what a dick he is. All his talk about compassion and understanding, how he wants us to see each other and be friends and “work on our relationship,” but the first time I don’t jump through his hoop, Mr. Hyde is right there to start some shit.

  8. behindthemaskofabuse

    February 15, 2013 at 6:18 pm

    It’s sinking in. I see everyone else has already said it. I’m sorry, I wish they wouldn’t be this way! xo

    • Sofia Leo

      February 15, 2013 at 6:35 pm

      If he wasn’t this way, I would never have learned the very valuable lessons that he has taught me:

      Love my Self first and don’t sacrifice my beliefs to appease anyone – in the end it never mattered to them anyway and I bent over for nothing. Not even a nice dinner.

      Actions speak louder than words and listen to the words he says when no one but I can hear – his Public Self is a big fat liar who will say anything to be on top and his Private Side reveals his true thoughts and opinions, and they are never favorable.

      Keep separate money accounts. Always. Forever. “A girl’s gotta have her money!” as Awana says. She also says, “Every Southern woman knows the very best thing to be is a widow,” with a lovely drawl. Another post, another day.

      Have a plan to fall back on when everything goes to shit. Don’t include him in that plan.

      Be happy. If you’re not happy, what’s the point? Get out. Get happy. Drink tequila. Or whatever 🙂

      • behindthemaskofabuse

        February 15, 2013 at 6:42 pm

        i’ll drink to that!! you’re such an inspiration i’m sure your strength and courage are helping others in more ways than you know! xo

      • Sofia Leo

        February 15, 2013 at 8:58 pm

        I hope so – if I can do it, anyone can, and if I inspire only one other person to leave an abusive situation I would be pleased as punch. Planning a post for Travels with Towanda about the financial aspects of this type of escape that I am pumped about!

      • behindthemaskofabuse

        February 15, 2013 at 10:07 pm

        that’s awesome!!

  9. notyourvictim

    February 15, 2013 at 7:24 pm

    Well, it’s all your fault for having a backbone and taking his target away. But he’ll show you, he can blame you for his flaws whether you’re there to hear him or not!

    What a dick.

    • Sofia Leo

      February 15, 2013 at 8:56 pm

      LOL! Back and forth tonight, he’s to blame, I’m to blame, I call him a dick and he’s to blame again. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever. I’m going to bed. Alone. With the dog, who loves me no matter what. As long as dinner isn’t more than one minute late…

  10. Awana

    February 16, 2013 at 1:08 am

    Actually, the dog walks us. And, yes, I love Galentine’s Day! MUCH more fun than any V-Day weirdness I have had to endure…or not…


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