The Narc is not giving up. Found this in my inbox this AM. The subject reads, “My Flower:”
[His Nickname for me],
I wonder if, in celebration of this lover’s holiday, you would come over tonight and have dinner with me? I would like it very much if you could spend the night and I could hold you in my arms. I promise to treat you as my delicate wild flower and show you the love and respect you deserve, with no advances on your honor you might not welcome.
With all my love,
Srsly? How do “normal” people do this? Is breaking up and making up like this? I’ve never had a relationship with anyone other than a Narc or similar, so I really don’t know how it’s supposed to go.
After years of abuse, yelling, put-downs, dismissing feelings, name calling, taking control of everything, constant derision, would someone “normal” go back after a romantic gesture like this?
How can he think that I will go over there and fall into bed with him after the foul, ugly things he has said and done to me? He wants to “start over.” He says he has changed back into the man I fell in love with, the kind, gentle, supportive M who wants nothing but to bask in the glow of my happiness.
Did I have a memory transplant last night? Uh…no I did not. I ignored his picture/card. I have not responded to him in any way since Monday. Do I let this note go by with no response as well? Or do I send some reply that clues him in?
Do I tell him that the picture he sent has bad memories for me? He surely remembers it differently and can explain his way out of almost anything – he would turn it around so it seems like it was a perfect day joking around with an old friends, but my stomach still clenches with frustration when I remember how I held my tongue when he was being a dick so he would shut up sooner and I don’t think 3.5 weeks is long enough for forgiveness.