We are never getting back together. Ever

25 Jan

Raise a glass with me! The weekend is here and life is grand 🙂

Got a call from the Narc tonight. I answered in the hope that it would soothe him enough to keep him from making a bonfire in the yard of my stuff.

It went exactly like so many websites say it will – he is so pitiful and repentant, he has “seen the light,” “had an epiphany,” “finally understands” what I’ve been saying all these years, blah, blah, blah. It was amusing, actually. The Hoover was on full blast, but you can’t vacuum this bitch back with the suction at your command, asshole!

He promised to abide by any “rules” I might decide are necessary to keep communication lines open. He is willing to take care of the rabbits so long as I do the grooming and buying their food. He will absent himself if I want to come get any of my stuff. Just please, please, please don’t ignore him. He understands that he needs to work on himself, blah, blah, blah.

I told him that I needed to work on my baggage and that I can’t do it while living with him and his baggage and that’s the way it’s going to be and, no, he will not be allowed to know where I live and there will be no more questions about it. His financial situation is his to deal with and there will be no argument about that, either. I will not be living with him. I will not be talking with him any time he wants me to. I will not be seeing him. I will not immediately respond to his e-mail messages. I will not be his to command in any way, shape or form. In short, I am in control of MY life and he is welcome to work on himself at his leisure and on his own.

End of story.

It felt good to call him a dick and an asshole and say that I don’t have to put up with any of his bullshit ever again.

He once told me that he knew me inside and out and that I would never be able to surprise him. Ha! He doesn’t know me at all. Never did.


Posted by on January 25, 2013 in Gaslighting, Music, Narcissist


Tags: ,

25 responses to “We are never getting back together. Ever

  1. Jenny

    January 25, 2013 at 11:25 pm

    Yeah the poor pity me ain’t working LOL Glad you dumped him!!

  2. Paula

    January 26, 2013 at 5:49 am

    He never knew you, that’s right!! Woohoo! (BTW, my son loves singing along to this song. Maybe he’ll let me share a video of him singing soon.)

    • Sofia Leo

      January 26, 2013 at 2:59 pm

      We would love to see your son singing along to this song! It should be an anthem 🙂

  3. Bethany

    January 26, 2013 at 6:26 am

    I posted this Video on my FB wall when I discovered that he was stalking me on it 😛 doesn’t it make you feel good 🙂

    • Sofia Leo

      January 26, 2013 at 2:59 pm

      It’s a fabulous song! The writer had obviously just broken up with a Narc 🙂

  4. Not Quite Alice

    January 26, 2013 at 9:40 am

    Awesome! I’m proud of you. You are doing so good! HUGS!!!

    • Sofia Leo

      January 26, 2013 at 2:58 pm

      Thank you!

      • Not Quite Alice

        January 26, 2013 at 3:00 pm

        You are most welcome lovie! You’re being so strong!

      • Sofia Leo

        January 27, 2013 at 1:21 pm


      • Not Quite Alice

        January 27, 2013 at 1:52 pm


  5. behindthemaskofabuse

    January 26, 2013 at 10:28 am

    Whooohoo! This is great! He’s going to learn quickly that you’re not falling for his bullshit any longer!! I can’t wait until all your things are out and it’s all said and done!! I’m so proud of you!

    • Sofia Leo

      January 26, 2013 at 2:58 pm

      It felt good to just say out loud what I’ve been thinking for so long. I sounded (to my own ears) confident and no-nonsense. Of course, this is all still a game that he thinks he will win, but now I’m getting practice at how to defeat a Narc and soon I won’t need to bother.

      • behindthemaskofabuse

        January 26, 2013 at 3:26 pm

        sweet victory! i know what you mean, i have my narc sister using her biggest weapon with me now, my nephews. i have to painfully stand my ground on the “no contact” thing. as i do she will then begin to get mad and attack me…

      • Sofia Leo

        January 27, 2013 at 1:20 pm

        It takes a very shallow person to use their children as a weapon against another person. I feel for you and your situation. The worst part is that the boys suffer twice, once for (possibly) not getting to know their Aunt and again because of the manipulations of their mother. It’s a no-win and I’m sorry you have to make such a difficult choice.

      • behindthemaskofabuse

        January 27, 2013 at 1:42 pm

        it is a no win situation. it wouldn’t be near as difficult if it weren’t for the boys. i so wish she would wake up for her sake and the sake of the boys. 😦

      • Sofia Leo

        January 27, 2013 at 5:34 pm

        So sad for you 😦

      • behindthemaskofabuse

        January 27, 2013 at 5:36 pm

        thank you xo i hope the won’t be poisoned and they’ll always remember how much i love them.

  6. behindthemaskofabuse

    January 26, 2013 at 10:28 am

    oh yes my glass is raised!!

  7. Awana

    January 26, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    Sophia, really with the drinking (believe me, it’s a joke between us)….I find it hilarious that men just live in their own little pathetic world and say whatever they want–it is the women that get sucked in who suffer. Too bad they have such power in the world–well, we just have to do a work-around!! Better, more flexible jobs–I mean, where do all these new businesses come from?? Betcha there’s a bunch with similiar backgrounds!!!! H-m-m-m-m-m-…it is not so bad to be in the service industry—as long as you can work hard, you can support yourself. No dependency! Like Sophia said today–” I’m still looking for the downside!”

    • Sofia Leo

      January 26, 2013 at 2:56 pm

      LOL! I was drinking milk at the time I posted 🙂 Besides the one rum & coke (which put me right to sleep, as intended) I have not had any alcohol.

      I’m workin’ on the work around, that’s a fact! I like my job – no stress, all the chocolate and ice cream I want (which isn’t much – smelling it all day kinda takes the fun out of eating it) and good tips when it’s busy. When it’s not busy I have unlimited internet. What’s not to love?

      Still looking for the downside. Still not finding it…

  8. Just Me With . . .

    January 27, 2013 at 11:12 am

    Doing the slow clap of approval. Well done.

    • Sofia Leo

      January 27, 2013 at 1:18 pm

      Is the fast clap one of disapproval? 🙂

  9. El Guapo

    January 27, 2013 at 4:33 pm

    You realize his head is going to explode trying to figure out how you got away from him?
    Not a bad thing at all…

    • Sofia Leo

      January 27, 2013 at 5:27 pm

      He has already asked a few questions about it which I have refused to answer 🙂

  10. Nyssa

    January 30, 2013 at 1:09 am

    Reminds me of my abusive ex’s hoovers, all those years ago. He said he’d “grown up a lot,” told me all sorts of things I wanted to hear….and a few days later, was back to his verbally and sexually abusive tricks. If M hasn’t changed after all these years, he won’t, not even if you go back to him.


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