Let the Games Begin!

21 Jan

After a very long (and expensive) day running errands, I came home to find this in my e-mail inbox:

Thursday is fine, as is any other day and all other days.
You are mistaken to think you are not the love I want. You are the love of my life. It’s my mistake that you don’t know that. I’ve had a very hard time for two years and I’m so sorry I took it out on you.

What a lying sack of shit! His abuse started within six months of us getting together and it has continued for more than ten years! The last two years have been hell, but they were just a continuation of hell for me. He is an idiot if he thinks I’m coming back now – one little taste of freedom and I’m hooked 🙂


Posted by on January 21, 2013 in Digging Out, Gaslighting, Narcissist


Tags: ,

18 responses to “Let the Games Begin!

  1. Shannon. Ketchersid

    January 21, 2013 at 6:23 pm

    You aren’t going to take the bait and respond are you??

    • Sofia Leo

      January 21, 2013 at 6:27 pm

      Hahahahahahahahahahahah!!!! You’re kidding, right? I only checked that account in case my Mom or son sent me a note 🙂

      I will be replying on Wednesday evening, either confirming when I will be there, or changing the day to next Monday – I have a fiber friend who is also a biker who knows a lot of guys who would be happy to accompany me to get my stuff, help load the truck and stand around looking threatening. They would likely enjoy it a lot and who am I to deny them a little fun 🙂 I haven’t made a firm plan yet, but the longer I think about it, the more I like the idea of creating a scene for the nosy dog-walking neighbors to gossip about 🙂 Why not, right?

  2. JackieP

    January 21, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    Oh yeah, boy does that sound familiar! Mine said that too. He couldn’t understand why Ieft him. He then tried tears, promises and more promises. Didn’t work. Hang in there! He hasn’t even warmed up yet. But like you said, You are not an idiot! He just thinks you are. 😉

  3. Paula

    January 21, 2013 at 6:39 pm

    You should ask him to spell out just how shitty he has been so you have a written account from him. My ex cried and sobbed over the phone and promised to change. I asked him how he planned to change since he never admitted to doing anything wrong. Crickets. And then, “So, we’re over?” Hell yes!!! I had been gone from his home for two weeks and he expected me to return!?! I returned with my sister and a U-Haul to get the rest of my things and my son’s things. He put everything outside on his carport and watched us from inside. He got to see me smash little mementos in the trash. Framed pictures of us that he thought I would want or would change my mind. SMASH!! I left the mattress. He texted me as we were driving away, “You forgot the mattress.” I replied, “Burn it, Asshole.” Hehe! It felt good.

    • Sofia Leo

      January 21, 2013 at 9:45 pm

      Yeah, M can keep his mattress 🙂 My little fold-out couch was just fine last night and I’m sure it will only get better with time. M refuses to take the blame for anything, too, even when he is making all the right noises, he still brings it around to being my fault. Whatever. I’m so done!

  4. Bethany

    January 21, 2013 at 6:46 pm

    One taste of freedom and I’m hooked 🙂 LOVE IT!!! Freedom is the best tasting thing in the world when you have been starved of it for years and years!

    • Sofia Leo

      January 21, 2013 at 9:46 pm

      It’s true! I had a fan-fucking-tastic day today and it wasn’t even exceptional. Did I just leave him yesterday? It already feels like forever…

  5. behindthemaskofabuse

    January 21, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    i’m so glad you’re hooked on freedom!! that is the “honeymoon period” he’s begun!

    • Sofia Leo

      January 21, 2013 at 9:47 pm

      LOL! You got that right!

      • behindthemaskofabuse

        January 22, 2013 at 9:05 am

        good for you that you’re not buying in to his bull4h@#

      • Sofia Leo

        January 22, 2013 at 12:45 pm

        I’m done with that now 🙂

      • behindthemaskofabuse

        January 22, 2013 at 12:49 pm

        You’re such an inspiration!!

      • Sofia Leo

        January 22, 2013 at 1:16 pm

        I try to inspire, but when I don’t, well consider me a cautionary tale 🙂

      • behindthemaskofabuse

        January 22, 2013 at 1:17 pm

        lol you are truly inspiring. xo

  6. Awana

    January 22, 2013 at 2:32 am

    Girls gone wild–we ate bacon and everything….

  7. Melanie

    January 22, 2013 at 3:33 am

    I got some very similar emails:
    I know you saw this, but I thought I’d share it again anyway.

  8. lookingforward2012

    January 22, 2013 at 5:50 am

    “You are mistaken to think you are not the love that I want.”
    He is confused. Love is not a person. He wants someone he can walk all over and control. He wants someone to give everything of themselves, then to give a little more, while all he does it take and complain about it. And that is what he considers “Love”. You understand that – You aren’t mistaken in knowing what he wants. You just aren’t willing to be that person. I’m so glad you’re moving on!

    • Sofia Leo

      January 22, 2013 at 7:15 am

      Exactly! He doesn’t really know how to love, IMHO. All he knows to do is control those around him. He learned it at his father’s knee and can’t accept that he’s wrong no matter how many times it’s pointed out to him. Since I learned the language of abuse I have explained to him in terms not open to interpretation what I need and what his patterns of abuse are. He is in denial and I don’t have the Life to waste on him while he works on himself, if indeed he is even interested in making any changes. I’m done.


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