Got a phone call on the shop line about 15 minutes ago. The shop was (and still is) full of people. Caller ID told me it was M, and I let it ring five times but the machine didn’t pick up.
I said hello, and he asked me what was going on.
“I don’t know what you mean. I have a shop full of people,” I replied.
“Why are you leaving?” He sounds totally astounded.
Before I could stop myself I said, “you’re kidding, right?” I can’t believe how he was almost able to suck me into a conversation at a totally inappropriate time. Engaging my brain once again, I said, “this is not the time to talk about this. I have to go. ‘Bye.”
I guess he went home after all and I could have worried a bit less. The feeling of relief is incredible. He won’t likely drive in to town now, but will start drinking and stay home, probably calling and e-mailing me, but my phone will be off – Awana can come knock on my door – no one else has any urgent business with me.
UPDATE: He just showed up in the shop as I was typing. There were about 10 people enjoying their ice cream, so he couldn’t very well make a scene, but he did his best.
He wanted to know what is going on. I told him that I am not the woman he wants and I’m done trying. I said that I can’t live any longer with how I feel when I’m with him.
My voice began to tremble and he said that he was not being threatening to me. I said that by coming down here after I said that I didn’t want to see or talk to him was threatening.
He made some sounds about how two people who have been together as long as we have should not just make a hard break and that he would be willing to take care of the dog and make the split amicable.
I said that right now I need space away from him and asked him to leave.
He made a lot of logical noises in a quiet voice and promised to keep things amicable. I said great! Now go.
He left without incident and I think I can relax for real now.
More later – the shop is a mess and now that I can breathe again I should clean up 🙂