I hate curry…

14 Jan

Call me a gastronomic neophyte, call me a picky eater, call me whatever you want to, but I really do hate curry. I lived for two years in an apartment complex filled with mostly Muslim people who ate nothing but curried chicken and the smell sickens me. I have nothing against Muslims, don’t get me wrong, but the stench of their cooking settled like a foul miasma over the whole block and I grew to hate it. M knows this. He knows that I associate the smell of curry with the end of my second marriage and that I can’t stomach it.

What is his favorite food? Yep. Curried anything. He has a curried cauliflower & chicken dish that he adores. I have learned to make it and have even learned to choke it down on occasion because that’s what people who care about each other do – they set aside their own preferences in favor of those of the other person every once in awhile just to be loving and kind.

Last night I came home from work to the smell of curry on the stove. Sigh. Okay, fine. I can eat a little bit of chicken & cauli in appreciation of the fact that he cooked for once. I can pretend that I enjoy this meal in order to keep the peace.

One bite in and I knew that the chicken was off. It tasted faintly spoiled. You know what I do with chicken that has “gone a little off?” I throw it out. I do not cook it up because it’s a waste of good food and money to toss it. I do not eat it for fear of getting sick – throwing up is the absolute worst! I do not feed it to others, and I certainly do not cook it up and not say that it may be a little “off” after the person eating it has tasted it. I would rather have toast and not have to worry that I’ll be heaving in the middle of the night.

Is it just me, or was this episode totally inconsiderate? M lectured me on how I should have washed the chicken and put it in a different plastic bag after using half of it for dinner the other night – it was totally my fault that the chicken had spoiled, but it’s not like we’d get sick or anything, the dish just didn’t taste as good as usual.

He ate two plates full of the stuff, including what I left on my plate. I went to bed hungry after his comments about me being a picky eater. Whatever. There’s only so much spoiled chicken I can swallow before I snap and I had reached my limit with the first bite.

I did my best, did not yell at him, thanked him for cooking, apologized that I was unable to eat any more and blamed it all on being tired after work.

Crisis averted. Mostly.

Today he called me over to his computer to take a look at a special stove he wants to buy for his boat. It’s a cute little stove. I asked how much it cost and he wavered on the price, finally admitting that it was, “about $300…” He is hoping to qualify for disability benefits and was nattering on about how he would spend the money. “Or maybe you could buy it for me!” he says with a hopeful smile, rubbing my shoulder in a pleading way. At my frown he asked, “is the card zeroed out yet? Should I just order it?”

“No. You should not order it. The card is not zeroed yet,” was my angry reply. I turned back to my computer, seething inside.

The nerve of that man! More talk of money, how we are going to run out of dry firewood very soon, how we’ll have to rely on electric heat, blah, blah, blah. I’m surprised he can contain his huge balls inside his pants!

I gotta get out of here! I feel like he’s circling around me, looking for any opening to pry his fingers into to pull out money. In the words of The Boss, “he’s milking you…” Yes, he is. Not for much longer…


Posted by on January 14, 2013 in Emotional Abuse, Narcissist


Tags: ,

25 responses to “I hate curry…

  1. El Guapo

    January 14, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    The sooner you’re out, the better. I wonder if you can be non-commital about the stove and string him along to keep him docile until you move out.
    And even though you say he doesn’t have your account numbers, I hope you get them changed and the old ones stopped just after you get out the door.

    I worked in an office of Pakistanis who brought fragrant lunches. It was nice, because I didn’t have to worry about bringing leftover fish to eat.

    • Sofia Leo

      January 14, 2013 at 2:37 pm

      Sooner is better. Still some logistics to work out, but I may end up just jumping off into the void with a few loose ends hanging out there in the hope that I can tie them all up later.

      My financial info is locked down pretty tight, but I will be sure to cut up my cards and get new ones on the off chance he has copied the info. I do know that my credit union won’t give him access even though they know we are a couple.

      I still hate curry 🙂

  2. Lee

    January 14, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    Yep, still up to his old tricks.

    For me, a little curry goes a looooong way! 😉

  3. Awana

    January 14, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    I think it’s something IN the curry….I have worked with curry-eaters, and it is some spice that just reeks throught their pores…it CAN turn you off….the point is, he just did that to piss you off and make mean comments……my husband NEVER missed an opportunity…all I feel is exhaustion when I think about it…YAY for the credit union! Why doesn’t he already have a stove, Mr. SO SMART??? I just don’t get this dude…tell him to go on a raw food diet; it’s all the rage in COOLER -THAN-THOU circles…

    • Sofia Leo

      January 14, 2013 at 3:26 pm

      M’s father has eaten a raw food diet since the ’70’s so of course M would not consider it – can’t be like dad, dontcha know 🙂

      The stove would replace the one that rusted out in the “new” boat that is stored Up North – just one more thing to outfit it for his Dream Cruise on my dime.

  4. Melanie

    January 14, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    If there is anything I can do to help you tie up those loose ends, please let me know. I can be an alibi or a patsy. Not so long ago I was a professional resume writer, if you need help in that area. Maybe I could be your dying long lost sister and you must go to my side immediately or you’ll never know this part of your family! I can make phone calls for you or research something if you need it.

    • Sofia Leo

      January 14, 2013 at 3:28 pm

      Thank you for the offer 🙂 The loose ends are the rabbits and time to make a trip to pick up my new abode – rentals in this town are out of my price range, so I’ve decided to go mobile – more about that another day. What I need more than anything is a few days with him out of town so I can do what I need to do and disappear without the Final Confrontation that I dread.

      • Melanie

        January 14, 2013 at 3:33 pm

        If anything comes up that I can help with, let me know. I know you’ve got it under control, but sometimes things happen all at once.

  5. JackieP

    January 14, 2013 at 3:18 pm

    hmmm if the chicken was off it wasn’t because of you, and I’m like that too, if it tastes just a bit off I throw it out! Yeah, I wondered what he was up to, he wants something so that is why is being so nice. won’t last though. I would jump out even with some loose ties. Go while you still can! The other stuff will fall into place. I second El’s statement too, change all numbers as soon as possible because I guarantee you he has copied down everything he could. (been there made those mistakes)

    • Sofia Leo

      January 14, 2013 at 3:32 pm

      I think he’s up to something bigger than a $300 stove, he’s just warming me up for his next “request.” Or maybe he’s already ordered the damned stove and I don’t know it yet…I do keep watch on my wallet, so if he did manage to copy anything down, he’s far sneakier than I think he is.

      • JackieP

        January 14, 2013 at 4:12 pm

        time will tell. Hope for the best for you

  6. icescreammama

    April 11, 2014 at 4:44 am

    this sounds like a terrible time. i’m visiting from TD, so it’s the first i’ve read. i hope you are in a happier place, where curry is no where to be found and no one is milking anything.

  7. SHI

    August 23, 2015 at 4:06 pm

    You’re not alone. I’m an Indian living in India and I absolutely hate curry. The very thought of gulping down a plate full of tikka masala or anything liquidy makes me sick to the stomach. One might wonder how do I possibly live in India where’s it’s holy curry all around you. Well it’s easy. There’s a lot of Western food available here, particularly in my town. Pizzas, pastas, Mexican are the rage. When eating out, my friends order curry while I stick to my sandwiches with coke. Being a vegetarian helps as I don’t have to deal with an overwhelming majority of dodgy curries reeking of mystery meat. Plus vegetarian curries aren’t half as bad as the ones with meat, so sometimes I take them when there is no other choice. Yes, the smell of curry is overpowering but nothing that a good deodarizer/room freshener cannot fix.

  8. Hate curry

    July 16, 2019 at 7:25 am

    I know this is have been 7 years but I just want to say that I hate curry too and the way you said it the ‘muslim’ must be Indian if I not mistaken, this is not racist but usually Indian like to eat curry cause I’m asian too but I hate curry so much while most asian in my country love curry. There are many type of curry though, curry with coconut milk, curry without coconut milk, green curry and so on.

    • Sofia Leo

      July 16, 2019 at 7:42 am

      I don’t think they were Indian, but rather Middle Eastern. I meant no disrespect for their culture or religion (there was a mosque next door) but looking back, it might seem that way. It’s the smell of the implosion of my marriage and gives me a visceral feeling of disgust. Isn’t it funny how scents and food bring up good or bad memories? I have expanded my food choices, and I do like a mild curry with coconut milk (I should post that recipe) but not the hot stuff and never with chicken. Shudder.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  9. ohiocook

    October 11, 2019 at 10:25 am

    Thank you for following my blog!

    • Sofia Leo

      October 11, 2019 at 10:29 am

      You betcha! As Winter approaches, I’m looking for cooking & baking inspiration 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: