26 Dec

A couple of years ago M bought me a pair of waterproof rain pants. They were a lovely dove gray and were meant to replace a pair that I had been wearing for years that were finally giving out. He bought them so I would look proper when we went out on the boat – appearances must be kept up at all costs. He admonished me that they were “yachting clothes” and not to be worn working in the yard.

Recently he bought me a new rain coat (black – which I hate) to replace the nice one that has begun to leak. The coat is too small, by three sizes. I like to wear a sweater and a coat with the rain coat over the top of everything so that I can be warm as well as dry, but he has never liked that look – it makes me look like the other wives and girlfriends – fat. And you know how he feels about that!

I had been storing my rain gear in a cordura bag in the back room. A couple of weeks ago he commented that I really should hang up my rain gear so it didn’t wear along the creases as it sat in the bag. Fine. I hung it up. He stores his in a bag, but I guess that’s different.

The other day he came home with a pair of rain pants (black again) that he declared just weren’t going to work for him. He had me try them on. They will do, but are not lined, are not as good a fit, are inferior in every way to the gray pants.

“They’ll do for you. Would you like to trade for the gray ones?”

“Uh…I guess…”

“Good! I took the gray ones the other day when it was raining so hard and they’re on the boat – I didn’t have any dry gear to wear.” He has three sets of rain gear and assorted odd pieces that would have worked just fine, but seeing my nice gray pants hanging there was just too much to resist.

End of discussion. Yet another “gift” that he took back or replace with something inferior so that he could have the best stuff. I haven’t looked yet to see if he has taken anything else back…What a dick!


Posted by on December 26, 2012 in Emotional Abuse, Narcissist, Passive/Aggressive


Tags: ,

8 responses to “Take-Backs

  1. Melanie

    December 26, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    Fuck him and his pants.

    • Sofia Leo

      December 27, 2012 at 9:33 am

      I know, right? How bizarre is this whole story? He didn’t have to give me the pants in the first place if he really wanted them for himself, but evidently he gets some sort of thrill from giving and then taking back, judging by the number of times he’s done it…

  2. Awana

    December 27, 2012 at 2:22 am

    I truly hate the way he has a conversation having already done something, then has you say “OK”, then he says “Good”–it is so evil. You are too well-trained, but I guess you know that. I can’t wait until he doesn’t have somebody to mess with. What will he do? I have never seen anybody focused on so many trivial things. For somebody who likes to plan, he sure is running out of options. WHat plan is this–plan Z? “Berate the SO until they hand it over?” Jerk.

    • Sofia Leo

      December 27, 2012 at 9:34 am

      I am well trained, but I see through his bullshit now. Just trying to keep the peace so he will leave for a few days. It’s hard. Very hard.

  3. Bethany

    December 28, 2012 at 5:05 am

    My abuser ALWAYS did this crap!! He would buy a new pillow (for example) because mine was worn out. Then he would give me his and use the new one. And I was supposed to be happy that he got me a “new” pillow!!! Well when your gone you won’t need those stupid pants anyway 🙂

    • Sofia Leo

      December 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm

      Oh, I’ll be keeping the rain pants – I have a dog to walk and it rains for 9 months of the year here! It’s just one less thing I will need to buy for my new life 🙂

  4. El Guapo

    January 2, 2013 at 11:27 am

    I bet he’d fit quite nicely stuffed in a bag.

    No, I didn’t say that.


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