Today he’s helpless…

03 Dec

Today I don’t have to go to the shop for work, but I do need to spend time on the ‘puter doing some Real Work.

He has plagued me with interruptions until I am ready to scream.

First he asked if I would consent to showing him how to use one of the sewing machines so he can do some work on a sail now that he “has all these hours to fill with nothing.” I have offered to show him on numerous occasions, but he claims that since I have such a rigid sense of what is MINE and what he is allowed to use, he has been afraid of even being in my space. WTF? Because of my “issues” with MY stuff, he wants to know if I would be more comfortable if we had separate machines, then he could use “his” machine without pissing me off.

Next he wants to know if he should continue to be “concerned” about the electric and water bills. He has been taking a shower only every other day in the hope of keeping the bill down and should he keep on with that, or should he be unconcerned because it appears that I am unconcerned? WTF?

Oh, we need to “do something” about the hot water heater – his shower this AM was “brisk” and evidently he didn’t like it so much. That fucking hot water heater has not worked properly for seven years, but whenever I mention anything about it, we just don’t have the funds to do anything and I should just get used to cool showers because we’ll be living under a bridge soon anyway. While we’re on the subject of hot water, the temp on the tank is set at the perfect temperature for HIM to take a shower with the hot water on full open. This is in order to save money and energy. You can imagine what it’s like to wash dishes with 100* water, I’m sure. And it doesn’t last long enough for both shampoo and conditioner if you have fucking long hair that you hate. Just sayin’.

Since I can’t seem to park my car in the center of the driveway, I should price out a couple yards of gravel to put along the edge where I park. FYI, I park over to the side because that is where he insisted that I park in order to keep the maximum amount of usable driveway clear. How often does he use the driveway for something that needs the space? Never. Asshole.

Now he’s helpless and just can’t make any decisions for himself. Since he is so “wrong” all the time, he is giving up and letting me take charge of everything. He has no money to put fuel in his truck, so he guesses he’ll just “put it on the card.” I am expected to pay the bill when it comes in. All the bills, now that I’m In Charge. Where does he think I will come up with the cash to pay for things that weren’t important to him until now?

Go along to avoid the fight until later, or tell him to shove it up his ass?

Still no sex. Poor baby just can’t think…


Posted by on December 3, 2012 in Emotional Abuse, Gaslighting, Narcissist


Tags: , ,

9 responses to “Today he’s helpless…

  1. Awana

    December 3, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    …amazing how he thinks he can get you to pay for everything until the next Ms Right comes along…what a fucking martyr.

    • Sofia Leo

      December 4, 2012 at 11:53 am

      Looks like he has the money covered…Lying asshole!

  2. Melanie

    December 4, 2012 at 5:08 am

    He’s a mess.

  3. GiRRL_Earth

    December 4, 2012 at 5:36 am

    I’m curious about something. As a volunteer to a local animal shelter I have witnessed some egregious abuse towards animals who reside in homes with mercurial relationships such as yours, which husbands/boyfriends/men who are clearly narcissists. To that end, how does “he” treat the dog and the cat? Is he as abusive towards them as he is you? When you do leave him, will you take the animals with you, or will they stay behind with him (which worries me). I know some say animals don’t matter, “screw the animals” but then those “screwed animals” wind up in shelters, like the one I volunteer for, beaten, burned, starved (the list goes on)…

    What would it take to get you and the animals out of that situation?

    • Sofia Leo

      December 4, 2012 at 12:03 pm

      The animals are a huge concern. The dog will come with me as she and I are bonded. Yes, he does mistreat her, but that has changed because I freaked out and told him to stop, that he was being unreasonable with his demands for “discipline.” He saw the writing on the wall about the dog, but not about me.

      I have two angora rabbits that I will have to find new homes for as I can’t figure out how to give them shelter where I want to go. They have lived outside all their lives (they are not young,) so bringing them in at this late date will likely not go well. Leaving them with him for a short time will be fine as they are shy and he has no desire to be peed on 🙂 He has made comments in the past, asking me how much food they get each day, “just in case the day comes that I have to feed them because you are gone…”

      He loves the cat and she loves him. He does not mistreat her and I’m confident that she will be fine. She grew up on his boat when he was building it, so I’m sure she would adapt to life on the water just fine.

      Please believe that I have no intention of leaving my animals behind!

      • GiRRL_Earth

        December 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm

        Whew! Thank you so much for writing to let me know… I was not only worried for your sake, but for the sake of the animals. It’s a pity you don’t live near me (outside of Boston), otherwise, I would take your rabbits until you were back on your feet and then years down the road if you wanted them back you could have them back, no questions asked. 🙂

      • Sofia Leo

        December 4, 2012 at 1:54 pm

        Thank you so much for your kind offer. We are about as far apart geographically as we can be and still call the USA home 🙂 The animals are very important to me and I could not bear to abandon them, but it might be “interesting” for awhile…I’ll make it work, quizzical stares from strangers be damned!

      • GiRRL_Earth

        December 4, 2012 at 1:59 pm

        atta girl!


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