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He is such a fucking child!

21 Nov

I may have mentioned the financial situation around here a time or two.

To recap: the Narc is “retired” and has no money. I work a part-time minimum wage job in a tourist town because that is all I can get hired for after having been “too specialized” for the last 20+ years. I work occasionally from home for Real Money, telecommuting to an engineering office 70 miles away. I have taken over paying the bills because the Narc was so goddamned abusive about it that I couldn’t take it any more. I have paid the property taxes ($2200 because he “forgot” to pay them last year,) one year of moorage for his boat (his Dream House $840,) a questionable credit card bill (his – I have no idea what the charges were for and he wouldn’t tell me $250,) registration for two of his boats ($113 and $62,) and all of the “shared” bills for the last three months. In total, he has “given” me $500 cash, but only after several lectures and continued verbal abuse because I should not  have “needed” the money.

For the last three days I have had Real Work to do but have been unable to concentrate due to M’s continued childish antics. We have separate computers in a small room, where we sit back-to-back (he has the window, of course) at our desks. He likes to talk to me in a very low voice, not turning towards me so I can hear him, often while playing music quite loudly from his computer speakers. I am expected not only to hear him, but to respond quickly, getting up or turning to answer him in quick-time. If I don’t he claims that I am “neglecting” him and starts to whine or get angry.

I am trying to decipher the work that I’ve been given, trying to make a few extra bucks to ease my anxiety, and he is playing games with my emotions because he can’t stand not being the center of attention for a few hours.

His reasons for disturbing me:

He wants me to help him sort out options for a new rain jacket. Because I sew, I am an “expert” but also wrong about everything, so why bother to ask? Oh, right, so he can tell me, again, how stupid I am.

He wants my opinion on which inflatable kayak to purchase to replace the one he already has that gets used once a year but suddenly seems to have all sorts of problems.

He wants to show me some great gifts that I could buy for him for Christmas.

To set up his Amazon wishlist.

“Read this letter and tell me what it means.”

“What do you think of this picture?”

“Isn’t this blog great?”

“Oh, D found just the boat trailer that we need. Only $200! I’ll tell  him to go pick it up!”

And on and on.

The rain jacket was charged to his credit card, which I will be obliged to pay. He also bought new tires for his truck (charged again!) to the tune of $600.

I don’t think he bought the inflatable kayak, but he might have.

Before he made the tire purchase, he asked “you can make a couple of payments on a credit card?” Well, duh, credit cards don’t have to be paid off totally every month. After he left, I realized that he was asking if I could make a couple of payments to pay off the damned card.

Where the fuck was he when I had to shell out $1500 for a new head gasket for my car? Or get new tires? Or new shocks and struts? He has never paid for anything that needed to be done for any of my cars, but all of a sudden he is helpless and needs me to take care of business.

I am beyond pissed.

Distractions to keep me from working, veiled demands for New Stuff that I can’t afford, and whining about how crap his life is.

Lord, give me the strength to keep my hands off his throat and away from his gun…

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5 Comments

Posted by on November 21, 2012 in Emotional Abuse, Narcissist, Passive/Aggressive

 

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5 responses to “He is such a fucking child!

  1. Awana

    November 21, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    Don’t go to jail!! Unlike a man, they will never let you out!!! THere is a double standard there, too., you know.WHat a baby!! He is just trying to get you to leave, becasue he doesn’t have the guts to sit down and ask you to and try to make it easy for you like a real adult. He will just use you as long as he can, then go on to someone else. Don’t even get mad. It’s not worth it. You just have to get out of this–it will never get better, because a pot of money will not rain down from the sky; if that is the basis for happiness, you know it is not right. He needs to get his ass out and work at something, but I suppose that won’t happen unless he is forced to. Good luck and Godspeed…

     
  2. El Guapo

    January 2, 2013 at 6:14 pm

    If the card is in his name, can you just not pay? Then explain to him how childish it is to spend the money?
    And unplug his computer when you’re in there.

     
    • Sofia Leo

      January 2, 2013 at 6:24 pm

      Of course I can just NOT pay. He and I have been over and over this for years. He is convinced that I owe him money. Because I have “drained him dry” I am now responsible for his bills, no matter what they are. Now, lest you get the wrong impression, he has not worked for the past 10 years – he paid his bills with his savings, he paid cash for the house we live in, he paid his credit card off each month.

      Now it’s my turn, according to him – I “owe” him because he has “supported me” all these years. I have worked since he has known me – he did pay off some bills that I had been carrying for years, but I paid him back. He did buy me a car, but I paid him back.

      This makes me tired. I pay for the moment because I am not set up to leave in a way that works for ME. It will all be over soon.

       

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