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Holiday Planning

20 Nov

M’s sister called yesterday while he was out. She has always been a bit abrupt with me, and she creeps me out, so I have not always been as friendly as I could be to her and the conversation was short.

The Holiday planning goes like this – my Mom and Sis decide where we will eat the T-day meal (Mom’s house, Sis’s house or out at a buffet somewhere) and then they call or e-mail me to let me know so I can pass on the info to my son and get transportation worked out. Long story. I have been out of the planning loop for years because M always initiates some sort of snag and I have given up. He will tell anyone who wants to listen that my Mom is a Control Freak who can’t let anyone else make any plans. I don’t even argue with his assessment because it is pointless and only leads to him calling me names, so why bother? I really don’t care where we eat so long as it’s not in my home because I can’t stand the pressure of being “on” with a house full of people who know me well enough to see the cracks in my veneer.

Anyway. This year we are meeting at a buffet so that no one has to cook. This means that we will not be stopping at M’s sister’s house before* we eat, but after, which means she will likely try to force us to eat her cooking before we can escape. I say we only because that is how M describes leaving her house – escaping.

I did not finalize the plans with M’s sister, but told her to call his cell phone. I did not tell her our plans because if I had, M would have been irritated that I was setting the agenda without him. It was a crap shoot, and I knew I would be wrong no matter what I did. Sure enough, when he got home and I told him that E had called and he needed to call her back, he blew up at me because I hadn’t just told E the plan so he wouldn’t have to talk to her.

He also bitched that I hadn’t gone outside to help him clear the culvert under the driveway when he was on his way out yesterday. I was working on my computer at the back of the house and had no idea that he was struggling to clear out the culvert. Did he bother to poke his head in the door and ask for a hand? He did not, but he did walk past the door four times to fetch tools to do the job. I am supposed to be psychic, I guess, and know when he needs help with something. Whatever.

I just want this to be over.

* Last year they were all still in bed at 11:30. She answered the door in her robe. Then there was the jostling for the bathroom for everyone to take showers. And then breakfast preparations. It was extremely uncomfortable. I thought they were rude and we should have left immediately, but I’m not in charge, so we stayed and I squirmed for a couple of hours, itching to get out of there.

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2 Comments

Posted by on November 20, 2012 in Emotional Abuse, Narcissist

 

Tags: ,

2 responses to “Holiday Planning

  1. Awana

    November 20, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    OH, yeah—-I had to go visit THE MOTHER, but Ma didn’t know why I was always coming around. But, we couldn’t visit my mother. I had to endure his rotten siblings, but made only one effort to visit mine (knew there weren’t going to be any more of that). No plans, “I hate holidays” (but it was OK to have his family over one year without preparations), oh, etc and blah, blah, blah……..I relly feele for you on this issue—you can usually deal with garbage on your own, but it is hard when you have to put up with sickening family members. 11:30???? Bathe??? GROSS……and, yes….you are supposed to be phychic.

     

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