The cash has hit my bank account. Big sinking feeling in my stomach. M has gone to check on his boat. I am a bundle of nerves as I contemplate my next move.
Thursday we will be driving three hours one way on our yearly visit with our families*. I dread the time alone with him in the car, as always.
He has been hinting about things he would like me to make for him for Christmas, one of which is a pair of wool pants. I made a pair for myself that fit (even if I say it myself) Perfectly. He tried them on, and declared that he would love a pair for himself, with a few modifications, of course – add a fly zipper and waistband, raise the back by 1″, add man pockets to the front (and to the back, I’m sure, before he’s done discussing modifications) and make them an inch longer. So, basically make him a pair of pants just like mine but totally different, necessitating a total re-draft of the pattern and dealing with his Narc obsession with how his clothes fit. It’s a no-win for me. I haven’t even looked to see if I have fabric and I’m already tied in knots.
I know! Why am I even thinking about doing anything for this asshole? Because I am not out of this situation yet and don’t want him to be suspicious before I am ready to leave. I want the break to be as clean as possible, and I don’t know if that will happen before Christmas.
* His sister is very strange, as are his niece and nephew and BIL. His sis hangs on him, I mean, clings to him, pressing her boobs all up on him, every minute we’re there. As an incest survivor, this really creeps me out. I have told him it makes me uncomfortable, but he refuses to peel her off him. She sends him letters and cards throughout the year, signing them, “I love you very, very much!” like a jilted lover. There is something very wrong with that family.
His niece and nephew have obvious social problems – still in bed when we get there, refusing to get up and come out to see their Beloved Uncle M, sulking in another room. Just weird. They are both in their mid-20’s, so it’s not just teen angst crap. The niece will write sappy notes in cards, but as soon as we arrive she turns into some other person, one who is very unpleasant to be around, says nothing nice about anyone. The nephew is almost catatonic from drugs to deal with his “depression.” Neither has a steady job, nor have they moved out of their parents’ house for more than a few months at a time.
BIL will say hi and then disappear into the basement, never to return until we are on our way out the door.
Last year the whole family was still in bed when we arrived. At 11:30. On the one day a year we travel to see them. They were expecting us, and they knew what time we would be arriving.
The whole thing is just strange and feels very wrong to me.