The first time I heard this song on the radio it struck a chord in my gut. Really, why? What is the point? I just don’t get it. I don’t have it in me to treat others with the hatred that I face every day – it just doesn’t compute with me, and I want to believe the best of others but, like so many women, I have been lied to and fooled into falling for these assholes that seem to live to beat others down.
Today I’m getting the Silent Treatment. I figure there will be plenty of “Oh, woe is me! I am such an evil person! I can’t even express my honest opinion without you going off or freaking out so I guess I’ll just sit over here and type away on my computer* until I’m tired and then go to bed. Without dinner, since you don’t want to do any little thing for me after I’ve worked hard all day**. Sigh. Poor me,” but I don’t care.
I spent half the day running errands, you know, the usual, changing the oil in my car, buying cat litter and rum, looking at rental ads in the local paper. The ordinary things that make up a day off.
UPDATE: Oh, he’s in fine form tonight! After a rum & pepsi (and plenty of Silent Treatment and turned back from M) I made hamburgers for dinner. I did not finish mine, but left a portion on my plate. M usually asks if he can finish any food that I have left (“wasting” food is a Big Issue for him) but tonight he left the room without so much as a Thank You for the meal. I fed the leftovers to the dog. A little while later he said something about “good food” going to the dog and I replied that he left the room, so he must not have wanted it. Rather than toss it out I fed it to the dog. Win-win, right? Got a little mini-blow-up with him saying (volume rising as the sentences went on) “I thought it would be rude to ask for your food. Since everything I do is rude, I’m trying not to do anything. Giving food to the dog that I would have eaten is rude,” blah, blah. I’m afraid I tuned out. Whatever. Poor him. So mis-understood. Boo-hoo.
* Is he organizing his new life? Talking to a new or former lover? He sure is closing tabs and hiding his e-mail screen, typing furiously. Maybe he’s chatting? Who the fuck cares?
** He’s outside in the sunshine putting paint on a boat. He got up late and is not moving very quickly. Let him try scooping ice cream for sweaty tourists for 7 straight hours while standing on a concrete floor! Asshole.