Back in April, when I was wondering what term would describe what I’ve been experiencing in my relationship, I happened upon an article by Yashar Ali that clarified many things and finally gave me a label to put on what M does to me every day – Gaslighting.
Today I read on Jezebel about another form of gaslighting that is some variation on what “poet Robert Bly calls the “all men are shits” speech.” Bingo! M also uses self-deprecation to deflect my anger and bring me back into doormat mode.
It’s amazing what you can see when you finally open your eyes…
Also, he changed his e-mail passwords. I don’t think I care any more.
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Paula
July 8, 2012 at 10:21 am
My X would say, “I’m just a piece of garbage to you. I am a good person and don’t deserve this kind of treatment.” I fed into his sympathy/pity party always! But now I would say that yes you are a piece of garbage and far from being a good man. I think that’s why I hate, hate, hate John Mayers song “Shadow Days.” It’s a narcissistic sociopath’s theme song!
iwonttakeit
July 8, 2012 at 10:47 am
I hear the same sort of thing, with the addition of “if I hated you as much as you seem to hate me, I would just leave…” blah, blah, blah.
I hate all of John Mayer’s songs 🙂