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Another Thing to Deal With

07 Jul

Old Dog is dying. She’s 15, so it’s not like she’s a youngster. She was once a very active dog, running, running, running. She has also been a PITA all her life – not house trained until she was two years old, running off whenever your back was turned, chewing things, unable to be left alone in the house, etc. In general, a pretty Bad Dog and not easy to love.

The last two years have seen her slow down considerably as her back end became stiff and she could no longer run as she used to. She has enjoyed the last two Summers out in the sunshine on the grass as we learned to trust that she wouldn’t (mostly) run off at the first chance. She was able to go visit friends and not be on a leash and we gave her as much freedom as we possibly could.

Over the last few weeks she has been losing more and more control over her back end – limping, her left leg just giving out, wetting/pooping herself and not realizing it. It appeared that she could not feel anything back there. Each day has seen a new issue arise.

Before M left on his trip, a friend suggested that he put the poor dog down. “It’s not fair to the dog or to your woman to have to work and deal with a dying dog while you have fun on your boat,” he said, according to M (I wasn’t there.) She has to be helped to stand and taken outside late at night and no later than 0600 to keep the mess on the floor to a minimum, as well as regular trips out during the day. There is constant clean-up, of the dog, the dog’s bed and the floor(s). I work six fucking days a week! There’s no vacation time in a tourist town in July! Give me a fucking break!

M wanted me to tell him that I would not accept the extra responsibility for the dog while he’s gone and to take her for that final ride to the vet’s office, but I smelled a trap and held my tongue. If I had my way, the dog would have gone to the vet three months ago when it was clear that she was on a rapid downhill slide.* Let her go out with some dignity, is my personal opinion, but no way was I going to let him use “my” decision in later lectures/battles!

M promised to make an outdoor pen for her before he left. “That way she can be outside and if she messes herself we can hose her off twice a day. You know, like putting an old person in hospice,” he said with a grin. Uh-huh. Needless to say, the pen was not made. I am pissed.

So today I arrived home from work and the poor dog can’t stand. Her back legs are just not working, no matter how she tries. I supported her to go outside and got my shoes pissed on for my trouble. I brought her back in (no pen yet, remember?) and she pooped on her bed. Again. I am fed up, the dog is looking at me with pleading eyes, and it’s Saturday evening – not a vet open for miles around, and even if I could reach someone for an emergency visit, I don’t have the money to pay. I don’t have a gun to do it myself and doubt very much that I could tie a plastic bag over her head or beat her with a shovel until the job was done.

Just one more way that asshole has fucked up my life. He has forced me to make the ultimate decision for him, to do it when he is in no position to say his farewells and to clean up the mess afterwards. This will end badly, no doubt about it. No, his cell phone does not have a signal where he is at the moment, so I can’t even call and tell him what’s happening. Sure, I can leave a message, but I think I’ll do that tomorrow or early Monday morning before I take her to the vet – no sense in getting a lecture before I have to…

* I do not blame the dog for her infirmities at. all. so please don’t put your indignation into the comments. I believe that as “owners” of animals it is our responsibility as humans to make their lives as comfortable and healthy as possible and to help them out of this life when the time comes if they are suffering. Keeping a pet alive after its life has become a misery is just plain wrong. I refuse to watch an animal suffer needlessly because of whatever stupid reason humans give for letting it live on.

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4 Comments

Posted by on July 7, 2012 in Stuff that Pisses Me Off!

 

4 responses to “Another Thing to Deal With

  1. Paula

    July 7, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    Like putting a person in hospice? What a sick, unsympathetic and unempathetic prick. Even people don’t belong in hospice in most cases! You’ve got to get over him “holding” something over you. Even saying “No” to putting the dog down will end up being held against you. It will work something like this: “If you had suggested putting the fog down before I left this wouldn’t have happened. You let our dog suffer because you lacked a backbone to make a decision. I didn’t make the pen because I never intended to make the pen. That’s inhumane! You should have agreed to put the dog down when you realized the pen wasn’t being built. I really can’t believe you would think I was serious about the pen in the first place.” And so on. Regardless, you are going to lose in his personal war against you. Poor dog. 🙂

     
  2. iwonttakeit

    July 7, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    I couldn’t believe he was comparing the dog to a person in hospice, either. He had the dog when we met, so I feel the ultimate decision is his to make – imposing my personal views on what is right and responsible in this situation would be wrong. Hoping he would make the responsible decision obviously backfired, too. I knew I was going to end up paying in one way or another, it was only a matter of time, and once again, I am right. Feels like shit.

    I have not been my usual doormat self the last couple of weeks as he prepared for his trip, walking away when his stress level was going up instead of bending over backwards to soothe him, and I think it caused him to try a different approach to get me to react the way I always have. He missed his monthly blow-up, too, so he was like a pressure cooker on way too high before he left.

    If I had more cash in the bank I would leave while he’s gone (the dog is, of course, a major consideration as to why I did not try harder to get funds together.) Sigh.

    I’m too angry to even think straight right now, but I thank you for your wise words, Paula 🙂

     
  3. Awana

    July 8, 2012 at 4:39 am

    They don’t “hose you off” twice a day in hospice, either–men love to be mean about old, sick people until it is their turn, then somebody had better be prepared to take care of THEM. Gross and insensitive. You poor thing and doggie, too. It’s so hard, but you have to be brave and do the right thing. Whatever you decide will be wrong, and then you will always be at fault. Would you want to be a caregiver to this lout? Those days are over; women don’t have to put up with this anymore—besides, they’ll just turn around and marry some whore to wipe their butts. It’s all so easy for men–women make things so difficult for themselves with all their caring and feelings…(that’s sarcasm–BTW). I have seen this more times than I care to….the saddest part of any relationship is when you find out you are not special. I hope you dont’ waste too much time getting away from all this sadness–I sure wasted too much time! THat’s why I have to do fun stuff all the time, now–to make up for all those wasted years . It’s all so unecessary. Healing starts with the anger, however—congratulations! It’s more useful than depair (Terminator 3)-ha, ha! I think you have said all that need to be said, so go on and have a life–a real and happy one!!!

     

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