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Translations Part Five

23 May

What he says: “I admire people who have made a success of their lives with no college education.”

The first time he said this I was amazed. He is college educated and holds three degrees (only one of which ever had any bearing at all on his career – the others my have developed his mind, but they did nothing for his bottom line, as even he will admit on occasion) and can be a terrible snob. I was desperate to escape my father’s clutches and there was no money for me to go to a “real” college so I made the decision to attend a technical school for a year in order to gain marketable skills* and get the hell out of my parents’ house. I had some very educational experiences along the way that I would not have had at a Real College.

What he really means: “Anyone who has not been exposed to a “culture of ideas” (Real College) is a moron, with no valid opinion or point of view (unless they are a man who has made a good living working with his hands and has skills that I appreciate.) I will use your lack of Real Education as the last word to win an argument even if it makes no sense in the context of the conflict. I will point out my educational superiority often as a way to cut you off if we disagree about something.”

He often points out my “barbarian” ways and lack of social graces and I always worry about making some unforgivable mistake in front of his High Class friends. My personal view on the matter is that I have no time for snobs. I value people for who they actually are as a human being, not their lineage or education or snobby table manners. If more people spoke plainly and were true to themselves I can’t help but feel that there would be a lot more happiness in the world and far fewer stupid misunderstandings.

I don’t play Office Politics, either. I don’t believe in getting ahead by sabotaging or bad-mouthing co-workers, although both tactics have been used quite successfully against me. If workers at a company are engaged in a constant political battle, clawing their way to the top, I leave that company – life is too short to waste so much time and energy pulling others down for what could end up being no gain at all.

* I supported myself and my son for over 20 years on the income produced from my “inferior” education. Oh, sure, I was married for some of that time, but somehow the men in my life did little or nothing when it came to “kid” stuff and I feel like I was a single mom all that time. My son feels the same way, but I’m not sure how much of that is because of my influence. Oh, the tangled web to sort through to get to the bottom of this situation!

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1 Comment

Posted by on May 23, 2012 in Red Flags, Verbal Abuse

 

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One response to “Translations Part Five

  1. Paula

    June 14, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    My X was not educated beyond high school in Argentina. His opinion was the complete opposite and that I was a snob to think my education mattered. The strange thing is that I NEVER talked about my education. He always brought it up. If he felt like I was trying to intimidate him or make him feel stupid, he would rub my education in my face, as if it were something I should be ashamed of. A great example: my son likes peanut butter sandwiches. The X would keep the peanut butter in the refrigerator which made it very difficult to spread on fresh bread. One evening, I left it out over night so I could make a sandwich easily the next morning for my son’s lunch. When I awoke to make the sandwich, the peanut butter was in the trash. I asked him why he tossed a nearly-full jar. He said because I stupidly left it out over night and that it was bad now. I chuckled innocently and asked, “What. Do you think there is dairy cream butter or milk in peanut butter? There isn’t. Butter is a term used to describe…” Before I could even finish, he yelled, “Oh, you are soooo fucking smart. You fucking smart ass whore! I’m just a stupid boy with no education.” At the time, I said nothing. Today, I would say, “Yes. You are correct. I am smarter than you and you’re a dumb ass prick.” Hahahaha!

     

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