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So popular…

The stats say I have 575 followers on this here blog. I acquire a new follower almost every day. When y’all discovered my little blog and started leaving comments and following I was thrilled beyond words; so thrilled that I’m a little afraid to talk about it for fear of jinxing myself :-)

Lately I’ve been gaining a new class of follower: the advertiser. You know the ones, they follow a blog in order to get the blog writer to click over to their site to see WTF they’re following and it’s all an ad. Surely there’s a name for them?

The majority of these followers seem to be handsome young men from other countries who want to teach me how to write a better blog, make tons of money and enjoy life, all for a small investment in their blog. Srsly? How to those guys make money? Are they paid for every blog they follow? What’s their game?

Anyway. I guess I know my blog is a success, judging by the number of spam followers I have – they only follow the really popular blogs, right?

 
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Posted by on April 16, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

Share Your World – Week 15

Week 15 already? How time flies when you’re having fun! Here’s another installment of Share Your World brought to you by Cee’s Photography. I really must get my act together and join in some of the photography challenges…

This week’s questions and answers:

For your blog do you basically use Windows or Mac, laptop, desktop, pad, or phone?

Until a couple of weeks ago I used a Windows desktop. Now I have access to a Windows laptop. The tablet is too small and annoying and my phone is dumb…

As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Alone. Maybe independent is a better word. I wanted to be on my own so I could make all the decisions and not have to cater to anyone else. I’d have a cat or two and live in an apartment in a city and work and spend my money however I wanted to. Obviously that didn’t work out as planned then, but it’s working just fine, now :-)

Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?

I grew up in a small town and I hated it at the time, but looking back I really had it easier than kids in larger towns do. I knew it was great to live where there weren’t shootings every day and no traffic jams, but I really wanted a bigger library and more places to go for entertainment that was free. Yeah, I was a nerd. Still am…

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 

19 – old enough to be out of school but still excited by every day’s possibilities.

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

Last week was busy! Had a lovely working visit with Mom and get to repeat the fun next weekend. More on that over on the other blog.

 
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Posted by on April 16, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Leaving the sociopath before the discard

Sofia Leo:

Paula hits the nail on the head again! Since I moved away from the narc, I haven’t had to defend myself against a smear campaign, but I also haven’t heard from any of “our” friends, either. Whatever. He can have any “friends” who believe his string of lies and I will continue to live my fabulous life!

Originally posted on Paula's Pontifications:

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Choosing to leave the sociopath before the sociopath is ready to discard you may cause increased cognitive dissonance if you don’t know what to expect.

In the beginning, the sociopath exhausts you of all your novelty in the early love-bombing and idolization phase.

The sociopath is so interested in your interests and becomes so immersed in your life and daily routine that you become intoxicated by all of the attention.

You interpret this as a good thing. You interpret this as an AMAZING thing. The sociopath must love you so much to want to become your twin, huh?

The sociopath even seems to bond quickly and easily with your inner circle of friends and certain family members.

You’re in awe of how alike you are! Where has the sociopath been all of your life?

And that’s exactly the question you should be asking. Where HAS the sociopath been? Where are…

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Posted by on April 14, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

Share Your World – Week 14

I have no idea where the days are going. I’m told that it’s Wednesday, so it must be time for another installment of Share Your World brought to you by Cee’s Photography.

This week’s questions and answers:

If you had to describe your day as a traffic sign, what would it be?

I-8_s-2This is where I would prefer to be, reading something interesting. There’s no sign for a broken tooth or boredom :-)

Is your hair short (total neck and ear showing), medium (covering ears and neck), long (below shoulders), extra long (at least halfway down your back) or bald?

Short. Really short and I love it that way. It’s easy to take care of and I feel like myself in a way I never do when my hair is long. I spent 25 years with hair below my shoulders because the men in my life demanded it and I refuse to let it grow like that again.

When you are with your friends, do your interactions include much touching—for example, hugging, kissing, rough housing, rubbing backs? Would you like to have more of this? (Note: the answers may vary depending on where you live on this wonderful planet.)

Don’t. Touch. Me. Unless invited, I prefer not to be touched. I can tolerate it if the other person is a hugger and I know them pretty well, but I would really rather not.

What do you feel is the most enjoyable way to spend $100? 

Enjoyable or necessary? A very large filling is breaking free on one of my back teeth, so my conscience wouldn’t allow me to buy anything but dental care today :-( I’ve put in an emergency call to the dentist and hopefully they can fit me in today or tomorrow. If not, well, it will be an interesting weekend trying to keep things together.

If I didn’t have a nasty trip to the dentist on the horizon, I would use the money to buy reading material or wool because those are two of my favorite things.

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

I’m grateful to have made it through a very social week and looking forward to spending time with my Mom and son this weekend. Revy (aka Lil’ Dude, Shredmaster, Fucker) will be making his first road trip and that should provide some good blog fodder for next week.

 
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Posted by on April 9, 2014 in Memes, Share Your World

 

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Godbag at the Dog Park

The weekend was incredibly busy and overwhelming socially. I’m still recovering.

On the first Saturday of the month there’s a big gathering at the yarn shop and the place was full. I arrived early and stayed after. Somehow the clock at home went from 8:07 to 10:35 in three and a half minutes and I missed breakfast, which may have had something to do with how the rest of the day went.

There’s a guy who showed up at the usual Wednesday evening gathering. I don’t like him. He sets off my Freak-Dar lights and sirens but the other ladies think he’s just fine. He’s a young-ish man with prison tattoos and the look of the newly-released. He has not brought any project to work on and in fact claims not to know how to knit or crochet or to have money to buy supplies. He just wants to sit and visit and enjoy all the creative energy. Yeeeee-aaaaahhhhh. Dude creeps me out. He was there and in fact sat next to me, upping his creep factor exponentially. I don’t like his vibe at what is normally a very friendly gathering of like-minded people. More on him as the story develops.

After 5 or so hours of socializing Sabu and I headed for the dog park where we found three young springer spaniels romping about. They weren’t interested in Sabu, but they reliably fetched her ball over and over again which amused me greatly.

After awhile a very large pit bull showed up with his people. The dog (an intact male – don’t get me started on why that’s wrong!) was rather shy and didn’t want to play with the pups, who left soon afterwards. The couple did not look like locals. They wore brand new camo pants tucked into boots (not military boots, but Dog Park Boots) with rather dressy-looking jackets, obviously expensive. It was a discordant combination, but whatever. There’s an RV camping park within the State Park that also houses the dog park and we get all kinds.

The husband, Raymond (we’ll call him Ray from now on because it’s easier to type) spoke at some length about their conversion to a vegan diet three years ago (everything good for him started three years ago when he had an epiphany, but this did not become apparent for awhile) and how their dog is also vegan because they don’t want to consume the chemicals, hormones and antibiotics found in meat. Fine. I am on board for knowing what’s in your food and making informed decisions about what to consume. I even agree that factory farmed meat is not a good choice if you want to live a healthy life.

Then the conversation went a bit sideways. Now, normally I would not engage with a wacko, but I had not eaten, it was 3:00 on a beautiful sunny afternoon and I didn’t have anywhere to be until Sabu pooped, so I decided to start poking at the guy. Just for fun, you understand.

He asked me if I knew about chemtrails. Uh. Nope. Hoo-boy! I got an earful about that and then started asking questions.

“How far down do you figure the conspiracy goes?” I asked. “I mean, does the guy who puts the chemicals into the fuel know what he’s doing? Do you think he cares that he’s poisoning himself and all his descendants? How would the government keep those guys in line? Is money enough or do they use threats?” And so on in this vein until he changed the subject. Seems he was quite comfortable with the idea that Big Government was poisoning the world in their quest to reduce the population and bring about the New World Order prophesied in the bible, but the thought of one single Dude knowingly pouring poison into the atmosphere made him squirm. Interesting.

Predictably the conversation turned to god and his relationship with this particular dude. I heaved in internal sigh when Ray said, “I don’t mean to offend you, but I don’t know your religious background…”

Not wanting to give him any hints as to what my beliefs might be, I simply said, “none,” with a shrug.

His eyes lit up like it was Christmas morning and he launched into his spiel about the errors of his youth with respect to what he was taught about the bible. Turns out the church authorities of his younger days had it all wrong with their portrayal of god as a vengeful ruler who damned all people to hellfire for the slightest of “sins.” HIS god is a just, merciful god, and isn’t that a wonderful thing? Oh, he was positively beaming at that point, waiting for me to do…something…I never know with these people.

So, being my mother’s daughter, I said, “My problem is not with god, or with anyone who believes in a god, just and merciful or not. I take issue with organized religion and its crimes against women and children. I can’t stand behind any religious organization that would take away my right to choose and demand that me and my children submit to a man as head of my family, regardless of his ability to handle that role. I don’t believe in an organization that kills millions of people because they don’t have the same belief or who enslaves another people just because the color of their skin is darker. I realize that Rich White Dudes rule the world, but I don’t have to like it and I don’t have to subscribe to their propaganda, either.”

He was taken aback but jumped right onto my hottest button: abortion. I don’t remember his exact words, but he made it clear that he believes life begins at conception and to end that life is a horrible thing that only the most wicked of women even consider.

My reply was scathing. “No woman takes the decision to have an abortion lightly – that you think we do is because you are a man and will never face that decision. What about instances of rape?”

You’re gonna love this!

“Women VERY rarely get pregnant as a result of rape,” he said, “it’s too traumatic an event and pregnancy just doesn’t happen…”

“I don’t find that true, based on my personal experience,” I said.

Blink. Blink. Blink. For a moment he was lost for words.

His wife had been pretty much silent, nodding her head occasionally, obviously used to Ray’s public proselytizing and not in any hurry to leave, but at my remark her head came up and she looked me in the eyes. I couldn’t tell what her expression meant, but I like to think she was urging me to poke him again to see what he would say to this break in his routine.

He spluttered and repeated that it was “rare.”

“I think you need to reconsider the word ‘rape’ and take into account the ‘non-violent’ occurrences that happen every day, some of which DO end up causing pregnancy.” Hunger pangs were beginning to sour my mood, as was the smug face of this man without a clue.

He started in about how the “body rejects a pregnancy when it comes with violence….” and I told him that was bullshit and I based that opinion on my own personal experience.

Obviously uncomfortable with my insistence, he changed tacks and I was immediately reminded of the narc and his circular arguments. This was turning into an entertaining experiment.

“If a woman has the right to end a life, shouldn’t a man have that same right?” he asked. “Can a man just sign away his obligations to a child he doesn’t want? Do you see that happening?”

“A man can wear a condom and make it very hard for a woman to get pregnant if he doesn’t want children, and he can indeed sign away his parental rights here in Oregon. My first husband did.”

“Just like that? A man can’t deny his obligations, his responsibilities with the stroke of a pen! That’s absurd!”

“Yeah, he can. The father of my son did. He did not pay one penny of child support, nor has he once seen or even asked about his son in the past 22 years. Just. Like. That.”

We went round and round for awhile in this vein. He doesn’t believe in sex education and I pointed out that abstinence only education Does Not Work, nor does slut shaming, victim blaming or denying the problem exists. Sexualizing young girls, teaching them they only have worth as sex objects from the time they’re small children and giving men power over them everywhere they turn has created a rape culture that leads to all of the things he’s so outraged about.

He denied my interpretations. I pointed out that he’s not a woman and has no idea what I, personally, have had to endure in my life. He has no concept of the things I’ve had to do to keep a job, keep a roof over my head, to keep my son fed, to exist in a world controlled by Rich White Dudes. He has no idea how hard it can be for a young woman to say no when a man who has power over her (real or perceived) demands sex and that we need to educate and encourage all women to be strong and independent, punish men who beat and rape and shirk their responsibilities, and then we might approach the nirvana he seems to live every day.

He made some asinine comment about good men and blah, blah, blah, but I was mad by that point and said, “there are a lot of bad men out there. I’ve met many of them. You have no idea.”

He could see the conversation was over and so he said again, “I hope I haven’t offended you…”

This is, of course, my cue as a submissive woman to thank him for enlightening me and apologize for being rude and disagreeing. Instead I said, “you haven’t offended me. We can agree to disagree. I haven’t lived your life. Just remember that you haven’t lived mine, either.”

There was much more to the conversation, but I won’t bore you with details.

While we were talking, Sabu was trying everything she could think of to get Tank the pitbull to play with her. He was very gentle and shy for the longest time, not wanting to get physical, but Sabu insisted she wanted to wrestle and he finally obliged. What followed was an epic wrestling match and Tank falling in love with Sabu so hard he was drooling all over himself. At last! Here was a female he could relate to! She wasn’t having any of his mounting efforts, but he was undeterred – she’d come around sooner or later, right? It was a mirror of the human conversation.

In the end, we left the park, me feeling a bit slimed, Sabu literally covered in slime. It was a good day.

For the record, I have never become pregnant as a result of violent rape, nor had an abortion, but I will fight to my last breath to defend any woman’s right to choose, regardless of circumstances and I will continue to school ignorant assholes whenever I meet them. I just can’t keep silent any longer, even knowing that I can’t really change anything with my truth telling.

 

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Irritations @ Work

Really had enough of the men at work lying when I ask a question they don’t know the answer to. It’s irritating and makes me want to slap them. Just say you don’t know, okay?

Today was just the latest example. I need to do a very specific thing that I’m pretty sure can be done but I’ve not done it and want to know the best way to accomplish my goal without causing anyone to blow a gasket when they have to make changes behind me.* I ask the self-proclaimed “CAD expert” in the office and he gave me an answer that was so full of bullshit I can still smell it.

Did he think I wouldn’t notice that his answer was crap? Does he think I’ve learned nothing in the last 25 years working in this industry? Does he think I’m a moron and will try to make it work “his” way? Fuck no. I’ll be on the Autodesk CAD boards online if anyone needs me and I won’t bother asking questions I suspect they can’t answer in future.

* Which brings me to my next complaint – stay the fuck out of my drawings! If you want changes, just ask instead of going in there, fucking things up and then apologizing later. It really pisses me off to have to re-do someone else’s work when I could have done it perfectly myself in a fraction of the time. AND when things are changed and I go back in some time later I don’t know what’s been done and since y’all can’t seem to agree on anything the layout is totally different and I have to waste my time asking even more questions and making myself look stoopid, and I hate that more than just about anything. Less than puking, but more than picking up dog shit. Gahhhh

 

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Share Your World – Week 13

I have no idea where the days are going. I’m told that it’s Wednesday, so it must be time for another installment of Share Your World brought to you by Cee’s Photography.

This week’s questions and answers:

Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets? 

Of course! How could there not be with the vast size of the Universe?

What type of pet or pets do you not want to have?

No snakes or lizards. I prefer pets with pettable fur, so nothing hairless will ever live with me.

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Red, without a doubt – in-your-face bright and unable to be ignored. Unless I want to fade into the background, in which case I’m comforting ambiance without stealing the show.

What type of transportation would you be? Why?

A bicycle, something that takes a little bit of work to get going but that is enjoyable and healthy to operate.

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

Yesterday was my birthday and I’m grateful to have made it through another year. I’m looking forward to the First Saturday gathering at the yarn shop because it’s always fun to put a bunch of Wooly Bears into a room and see what happens :-)

 
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Posted by on April 2, 2014 in Memes, Share Your World

 

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